[Enneagram Type 1] Sexual Ones vs. Fours - The Difference?

Sexual Ones vs. Fours - The Difference?

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This is a discussion on Sexual Ones vs. Fours - The Difference? within the Type 1 Forum - The Reformer forums, part of the Body Triad - Types 8,9,1 category; Aside from the core type, what's the difference between a Sexual One and a typical Four? In behavior, personality, and ...

  1. #1

    Sexual Ones vs. Fours - The Difference?

    Aside from the core type, what's the difference between a Sexual One and a typical Four? In behavior, personality, and emotional expression?
    Wake thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Type 1


    4 is of the image triad. They view their feelings as a part of who they are and act on them because it's what they know is authentically them. If you can't accept them for the unique person they are then you are in the wrong because you don't accept them for who they are.

    1s view emotions as something that is a danger to their decision making and may not completely accept them. 1s view a reactive nature from them as a sign that you're out of control because it is a sign that you're willing to act at a whim. 1s want to control themselves to do what is right in all situations.

    4s may understand their situation and not always act on them, but they do when you are a friend on a personal level. 1s may not accept feelings and adopt objectivity because feelings are personal bias of the situation. 1s try to keep control of their reactions to feelings even when they are let out.

    I'm pretty certain everything I stated is accurate to a very large extent. It was vague, but also made it clear where the divide is between the two types.

    The underlined words were meant to put emphasis on them to show they're a tendency and not necessarily applicable to all 1s.

  3. #3

    Wouldn't the Sexual variant add some type of intensity to the 1, despite their discomfort with emotion?

  4. #4
    Type 1


    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Ghost View Post
    Wouldn't the Sexual variant add some type of intensity to the 1, despite their discomfort with emotion?
    Ya, I did try to show that they aren't completely against emotions coming out, but may become skilled at managing them to not allow them to look out of control in environments where things are expected of them. I'm known to show my emotions very much outside of the workplace.
    Last edited by Wake; 01-11-2012 at 11:45 PM.
    adeodatus thanked this post.

  5. #5

    Just to bump this thread, how do Sexual Ones channel their sexual urges and energy?

  6. #6
    Type 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Ghost View Post
    Just to bump this thread, how do Sexual Ones channel their sexual urges and energy?
    It would depend on what their second energy is Sp or So. But I found some excerpts here that may help:

    Sexual/Self-pres

    When the sexual instinct is dominant, the One's fear of not being perfect manifests directly in the realm of close personal relationships. Close bonds are the focus of their perfectionism. They focus on having a perfect mate or perfect friends and family. Competition and intensity can enter the picture.

    This subtype is a mass of contradictions. They want to let themselves go, but judge themselves for doing so. The difference between this type and the self-pres/sexual is that the sexual first intensity wins out. They can be highly critical of their spouses, expecting perfection from them. They can be very jealous and protective of their relationships. Their sense of humor can be sarcastic and biting. On the down side, they can be brutal to others while being very sensitive themselves to the slightest criticism. When their standards or ideals aren’t met, you’ll likely know about it. The anger and frustration is more visible in this subtype, and they also tend to be more emotionally demonstrative than the other non-sexual subtypes.

    On the high side, the contradictions and struggle usually make for a very interesting person, combining high ideals with passion. Their blind spot can be their inability to see the impact of their intensity in the social realm.
    Sexual/Social

    The instinctual energy of this subtype is the most at odds with their dominant Oneness. This subtype is the most intense. They are looking for perfection in everyone they are close to, not just their spouses. They can be very charismatic and engaging. They can also be very persuasive, like the social/sexual. If they have an opinion you are going to hear about it. It’s very important for them to be understood. They are outwardly competitive. Like the social/sexual, they too may be mistyped as other enneatypes. The anger that is under the surface with the other instinctual variants of type One is much more likely to be apparent with this subtype. You always know where you stand with them. They can mimic type Eight's energy in this regard. On the high side, this type is warm and engaging, but on the down side this same energy can bring with it the full brunt of the One's anger and the need to be right.
    The general jist seems to be that the Sx type is more outward and projects more and is more likely to push themselves toward the perfection (and express more) rather then repress it. Their feelings become more outward and they become looser in their restraint. I can see why you asked this question they do seem more 4-ish and I think the line between 4 and 1 is pronounced they are each others disintegration/integration point so there is a relationship, but I think @Wake is right the 1 will be more likely to clamp down on emotions to remain right and objective while a 4 would feel more comfortable feeling what they feel because it's real to them. Ones want to be right, Fours want to be real. A sexual four would be more likely to brood about their feelings both are critical in their wanting perfection but the difference probably comes in the One's repression of anger and the Fours envy regarding their shame. Fours will feel entitled. Ones will feel righteous. I would say the line is similar but 4 is apart of the reactive triad while 1 is apart of the competent triad.

    Here is another excerpt from the misidentifications section for 1 and 4:

    In the average Levels, Ones usually attend to their responsibilities first, and deal with their feelings later. Their lack of focus on their feelings is actually one of the main causes of their not infrequent depressions. (It is also worth mentioning that Ones are one of the types more vulnerable to depression.) Fours, on the other hand, want to sort out their feelings first, and deal with their duties after they have worked through their emotions. As a result, they may have difficulty mobilizing themselves to meet responsibilities. Most Ones would not give themselves permission to "indulge" their feelings in this way for very long. For lower average Fours, non-productively dwelling on their feelings can be the rule rather than the exception.

  7. #7
    Type 1w2


    @Arrow

    Thank you for posting that quote about 1 vs. 4. The point made about depression is very real. I've had a few people imply that I'm not really a 1 because I'm "emotional". Well, clinical depression *will* make you emotional, regardless of Enneatype. That said, I really hate when my emotions show through in public- I get very image-conscious when stressed, and of course, 1 disintegrates at 4. I have a need to present an "acceptable" image, so anything I see as a flaw gets hidden/suppressed/not revealed, for the most part. I don't believe there is anything inherently wrong with showing emotion, but when I see public displays of it, I feel an undercurrent of revulsion within me. That's the best way I can explain my experience.
    Arrow thanked this post.

  8. #8
    Type 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Steel Magnolia View Post
    That said, I really hate when my emotions show through in public- I get very image-conscious when stressed, and of course, 1 disintegrates at 4. I have a need to present an "acceptable" image, so anything I see as a flaw gets hidden/suppressed/not revealed, for the most part
    I'm a 4 and this resonates with me as well. I don't think anyone in general wants to feel out of control nor do they want to be seen as bad or undesirable. Even though the 4 is about individuality that is mostly just an image they project as a coping mechanism to protect them from their fear of being damaged or undesirable. 4's will probably hide those feelings as well and hold onto them and acknowledge them later for the most part. Fours will hold onto those emotions, while the One will probably feel that their emotions are stopping them from becoming righteous or better. I think that's the main difference.
    Wake and Steel Magnolia thanked this post.

  9. #9
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Ice Ghost View Post
    Just to bump this thread, how do Sexual Ones channel their sexual urges and energy?
    some notable commentary about these types: Enneagram Subtypes

    Somewhere I've read that Sexual 4s can fetishise their object of adoration and have a sort of love/hate relationship with him/her. I've definitely noticed this a few times, but it's not something they will openly voice. It becomes more evident in seeing how they treat their partners. Ones don't do this.

    I think style of written expression is different. All of the Ones that I've known have direct, matter-of-the-fact, sometimes very concise style of expression. 4s are more elaborate in self-expression, may use exotic words or peculiar phrases for the sake of the effect and to catch the attention of others around them. They are in image triad, and at some point it does become clear that they are attempting to create and image for themselves. Again, not something that Ones typically do. Even Ones who are famous authors or writers you can feel that they are more direct and dry-ish in how they convey their ideas and sentiments.
    Rose for a Heart thanked this post.


     

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