[Enneagram Type 2] Type Two, Individualism and the Narcissistic Parent - Page 3

Type Two, Individualism and the Narcissistic Parent

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This is a discussion on Type Two, Individualism and the Narcissistic Parent within the Type 2 Forum - The Helper forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Originally Posted by NK It's like the sad feelings I detach and analyze rather than feel them to move forward. ...

  1. #21
    Type 2w1

    Quote Originally Posted by NK View Post
    It's like the sad feelings I detach and analyze rather than feel them to move forward. Anger on the other hand wasn't AS discouraged. So it's more comfortable (feels like it's ok) to express anger than it is for sad.

    Anyone else relate to that ? In other words .. Is it the neutral parent or the discouragement to have my needs met/sad feelings voiced. Or am I seriously the most fucked up two type here? :p
    I doubt that :-) I can relate, although it would have to be the opposite way around. My mother may have mocked me for crying about things she thought to be irrational (such as in response to something she had said...) - and still does - but it was never plainly discouraged. I still cannot cry in front of others, however.

    My mother's anger is, as said, very unpredictable. I was absolutely terrified of her as a child, and I still am. That is what I suspect has led me to the dysfunctional relationship I have towards my own anger. What she has done is the last thing I would ever dream to put anyone through, so out of guilt and frustration I remain blank and try to rationalise or analyse, just like you.
    petite libellule thanked this post.

  2. #22

    Quote Originally Posted by Visby View Post
    I doubt that :-) I can relate, although it would have to be the opposite way around. My mother may have mocked me for crying about things she thought to be irrational (such as in response to something she had said...) - and still does - but it was never plainly discouraged. I still cannot cry in front of others, however.

    My mother's anger is, as said, very unpredictable. I was absolutely terrified of her as a child, and I still am. That is what I suspect has led me to the dysfunctional relationship I have towards my own anger. What she has done is the last thing I would ever dream to put anyone through, so out of guilt and frustration I remain blank and try to rationalise or analyse, just like you.
    And I'm slightly opposite. My relationship with anger isn't the problem as much as opening my heart to people in a way that includes hurt and pain. I do do it though. Try at least. I work on it. I do want to feel like it's okay to say when I hurt without the anxiety they'll leave because of that expression. Ironically, that anxiety produces the effect. Like questions I posed to other enng types. Our fears are self fulfilling prophecies.

    Ironically however, allowing myself to face my fear and say something deeper(as far as needing or hurting), feels vulnerable. You'd think that not facing your fears makes you vulnerable (with regards to self fulfilling prophecies). And so the moral of the story is we're always vulnerable no matter what. It's a matter of being vulnerable alone or not. That's the only difference I see. Sorta fucked up yeah? Lol!! .. So crazy. You sure I'm not the most fucked up two on the block? ;)

  3. #23
    Type 2w1

    Quote Originally Posted by NK View Post
    You sure I'm not the most fucked up two on the block? ;)
    I am, or we're equally insane ;-)
    petite libellule thanked this post.

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  5. #24

    Quote Originally Posted by Visby View Post
    I am, or we're equally insane ;-)
    *happy* lol!!

  6. #25

    Hey.. I'm a few years late to this discussion. Just wanted to say, I'm another INFP 2w1 who likes to smother and has an impulse to "save people" and has always been ashamed of my own anger (until last year when I found out about NPD and left home), and I am positive that these drives are the result of being brought up by my narcissistic INTJ father and enabling ESFP mother.

    Lately I've been embracing my anger.. ;D

    <3

  7. #26
    Unknown

    Short answer=yes.


     
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