[Enneagram Type 2] Are you most attracted to the powerful or the needy?

Are you most attracted to the powerful or the needy?

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This is a discussion on Are you most attracted to the powerful or the needy? within the Type 2 Forum - The Helper forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Pretty straightforward. Twos, which are you drawn to more? Feel free to interpret as you please....

  1. #1

    Are you most attracted to the powerful or the needy?

    Pretty straightforward. Twos, which are you drawn to more? Feel free to interpret as you please.
    Cleo thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Before this thread dies, I thought I'd toss in a bit of clarification:

    Directional Theory

    You will notice the mention here (corroborating research I have found elsewhere) of the Two secretly, perhaps subconsciously seeking power. Twos are often said to have a sense of entitlement and expect special treatment by having warmed their ways into the good graces of others, particularly powerful others. Twos are also often described as wanting to be "the power behind the throne". This causes me to hypothesize that Twos are more inclined to be attracted to powerful individuals with a subtle (and not necessarily consciously realized) desire to enjoy the benefits of this power through ingratiating themselves with these individuals as one of their more base defense mechanisms.

    On the other hand, Twos are notorious for their nurturing nature. They are often referred to as "The Helpers", and are described as having "a need to be needed". This suggests that Twos may end up being dependent on those who need them. An explanation for this contradiction is what I meant to elucidate in this thread. Twos, do you find yourself more interested in ingratiating yourself to the strong, those you deem worthy of your charms, or are you more interested in helping those who need your help, who often include the weak and the broken?

  3. #3
    Type 3

    I actually search for a combination. After all, a strong leader can also be a broken, weak person. At this point, I don't know how I'd choose. In the past, I have gone for needy people only, and it didn't really work out well for me. Nurturing someone who is broken, helping them become powerful again, is an interesting experience. The hope is that when they're strong enough again, they will take care of you as well. Being the power behind the throne is very enticing, as well as advantageous. I am a very strong person in my own right, so I've always aspired to find someone who is more powerful than I am, someone who needs me as I need them.

    It sounds impossible, doesn't it? To want to find someone who is broken, yet still powerful. Such a contradiction. I found it in a type 6 ENFJ. :3
    Last edited by Tyche; 11-27-2011 at 06:26 PM.
    Liontiger, Wake, perennialurker and 14 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Type 9w8


    Quote Originally Posted by Etherea View Post
    I actually search of a combination. After all, a strong leader can also be a broken, weak person. At this point, I don't know how I'd choose. In the past, I have gone for needy people only, and it didn't really work out well for me. Nurturing someone who is broken, helping them become powerful again, is an interesting experience. The hope is that when they're strong enough again, they will take care of you as well. Being the power behind the throne is very enticing, as well as advantageous. I am a very strong person in my own right, so I've always aspired to find someone who is more powerful than I am, someone who needs me as I need them.

    It sounds impossible, doesn't it? To want to find someone who is broken, yet still powerful. Such a contradiction. I found it in a type 6 ENFJ. :3

    I don't have much to post, but I had to say wow, that makes a lot of sense! Thanks for posting that.
    Tyche, Tyche, Tyche and 12 others thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Etherea View Post
    I actually search for a combination. After all, a strong leader can also be a broken, weak person. At this point, I don't know how I'd choose. In the past, I have gone for needy people only, and it didn't really work out well for me. Nurturing someone who is broken, helping them become powerful again, is an interesting experience. The hope is that when they're strong enough again, they will take care of you as well. Being the power behind the throne is very enticing, as well as advantageous. I am a very strong person in my own right, so I've always aspired to find someone who is more powerful than I am, someone who needs me as I need them.

    It sounds impossible, doesn't it? To want to find someone who is broken, yet still powerful. Such a contradiction. I found it in a type 6 ENFJ. :3
    Would you mind elaborating on this? I can understand Eights' and Fives' pursuit of power, but Twos' I don't entirely understand. I'd greatly appreciate a fuller explanation behind Twos' attraction to power and powerful people.

  7. #6
    Unknown

    Twos, do you find yourself more interested in ingratiating yourself to the strong, those you deem worthy of your charms, or are you more interested in helping those who need your help, who often include the weak and the broken?

    The second, as long as it doesn't require heavy emotional investment. I am interested in helping them, as long as it only requires me to give a little nudge and encouragement or lend up a hand to help them get on their feet. I get frustrated when I see people who expect me to help/support them, when they themselves aren't even helping themselves get stronger.

    It makes logical sense to ingratiate myself to those in power. But I am weary of those who have too much power, and don't like the idea of going "under" someone and compromising myself to fit into someone else's plans, especially because the powerful tend not to have other people's best interest at heart. I'm merely a pawn to them and I know that as soon as they deem me unnecessary, I can and will be killed off. Still, I'm diplomatic enough to keep things cordial and maintain a false sense of close rapport with them, so they won't see me as dangerous, and let me be. In a weird way, I consider all powerful people to be potential enemies, because of how much power one person has, and like they say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

  8. #7
    Type 2

    the needy

    I'm most attracted to the needy,.... now
    i learned my lesson by being attrected to the broken leader. you end up being the one hiding in their shadow holding them up.
    I have this thing about being invisible.... it bums me out and i'm tired of it. i wish someone could really see me for me, and like me for it. not because of who i am with.




    Quote Originally Posted by Etherea View Post
    I actually search for a combination. After all, a strong leader can also be a broken, weak person. At this point, I don't know how I'd choose. In the past, I have gone for needy people only, and it didn't really work out well for me. Nurturing someone who is broken, helping them become powerful again, is an interesting experience. The hope is that when they're strong enough again, they will take care of you as well. Being the power behind the throne is very enticing, as well as advantageous. I am a very strong person in my own right, so I've always aspired to find someone who is more powerful than I am, someone who needs me as I need them.

    It sounds impossible, doesn't it? To want to find someone who is broken, yet still powerful. Such a contradiction. I found it in a type 6 ENFJ. :3

  9. #8
    Type 3

    Quote Originally Posted by perennialurker View Post
    Would you mind elaborating on this? I can understand Eights' and Fives' pursuit of power, but Twos' I don't entirely understand. I'd greatly appreciate a fuller explanation behind Twos' attraction to power and powerful people.
    Hmmm. My attraction to power has a lot to do with safety and a naturally submissive nature. I need someone who makes me feel safe, who makes me feel protected. It's beyond physical, I definitely don't mean I'm attracted to football player looking men or anything. A man needs to be strong mentally for me to be interested. Someone intelligent, has common sense and has essentially been to hell and back. Typically, it takes a lot of bad life experiences to become mentally stronger than I am. Basically, I need someone who is as powerful as I am, or more. Hopefully more, because as I mentioned, I'm submissive, but I would never accept a weak leader.

    Beyond that, I can't really explain it, except I like the idea of being the strength behind a great leader, empowering them to do better.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by curious0610 View Post
    Twos, do you find yourself more interested in ingratiating yourself to the strong, those you deem worthy of your charms, or are you more interested in helping those who need your help, who often include the weak and the broken?

    The second, as long as it doesn't require heavy emotional investment. I am interested in helping them, as long as it only requires me to give a little nudge and encouragement or lend up a hand to help them get on their feet. I get frustrated when I see people who expect me to help/support them, when they themselves aren't even helping themselves get stronger.

    It makes logical sense to ingratiate myself to those in power. But I am weary of those who have too much power, and don't like the idea of going "under" someone and compromising myself to fit into someone else's plans, especially because the powerful tend not to have other people's best interest at heart. I'm merely a pawn to them and I know that as soon as they deem me unnecessary, I can and will be killed off. Still, I'm diplomatic enough to keep things cordial and maintain a false sense of close rapport with them, so they won't see me as dangerous, and let me be. In a weird way, I consider all powerful people to be potential enemies, because of how much power one person has, and like they say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
    But are you certain you're a Two?

  11. #10
    Type 8


    The compatibility thread says 8's and 2's are pretty good together. Also, apparently 8's and 2's start to look more like one another as they mature. The 8 becomes more caring, the 2 becomes more self-something (fill in the blank here cuz I don't fully understand twos).


     
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