[Enneagram Type 3] Examples of "success" for 3s (especially SX) - Page 2

Examples of "success" for 3s (especially SX)

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This is a discussion on Examples of "success" for 3s (especially SX) within the Type 3 Forum - The Achiever forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; @ SwallowFeather This could help. Here's Ichazo's version on 3: https://www.personalitycafe.com/type...-type-3-a.html Pushing yourself so hard that you damaged your hand ...

  1. #11
    Unknown

    @SwallowFeather This could help. Here's Ichazo's version on 3: https://www.personalitycafe.com/type...-type-3-a.html

    Pushing yourself so hard that you damaged your hand tendons sounds like 3 and similar to what Icazo calls Ego-go: Hyperactivity, motivation and drive is the primary message of this ego. This is an ego that wills one to be in perpetual motion and to always be moving in order to be active towards whatever it is that we need to be efficient in.

    SX is an instinct. SX = sexual, intimate, one-to-one, transmitting
    SP = self-preservation
    SO = social, navigating

    More information on instincts:
    http://www.awarenesstoaction.com/enn...ses.final_.pdf
    http://www.awarenesstoaction.com/enn...-Instincts.pdf
    SwallowFeather thanked this post.

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by Scoobyscoob View Post
    I've colored all the parts that I think very much say you are an Enneagram 3.
    There's also the fact that I took the opportunity to list my actual successes rather than only giving some kind of analysis...

  3. #13

    Thanks @Asd456 , I'm having a look at those.
    Asd456 thanked this post.

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  5. #14
    Type 7w8

    Quote Originally Posted by SwallowFeather View Post
    There's also the fact that I took the opportunity to list my actual successes rather than only giving some kind of analysis...
    You did just fine. :) I think you were being too self-bashing on yourself at certain points.
    SwallowFeather thanked this post.

  6. #15
    Unknown

    I identify as a 3w4 sx, a queer woman, a mother, a psychotherapist and a massage therapist, a wounded healer, an intimacy and self-improvement junky. I do my roles well, because I am a 3, but even though parts of my roles are caregiving, I have little need to be needed, like a 2. I don’t like people to rely on me. It stresses me out. My motives are different. I haven’t enjoyed motherhood. I enjoy knowing my children, but DOING motherhood — it gives me little to no pleasure actually. But not performing that role well gives me so much shame. I consider motherhood part of my personal ‘work’. I ‘do’ romantic relationship, and when I am in one, they take aIl my attention, and I feel like I lose myself and sacrifice myself to the relationship. Success is often gauged by how well I ‘do’ relationships. Or if I am not in one, how well I am measuring up to some internalized standards of who I need to be to find a partner. Who is the ideal person!? Ha! I experience feelings of success in moments of connecting with another person or a group. I monitor energetic connection vigilantly, and if I’m feeling that connection (which I take so much responsibility for) then I am successful.

    I became a massage therapist purely for practical reasons. I needed a job that payed the bills and that offered flexible scheduling. I wanted to start my own business. After a few people told me massage could be a good path, I looked into it. My own path and healing journey has always been so important to me. To me massage school ended up being an opportunity to heal trauma, my relationship with my body, and to start recognizing how prominent the prostitute archetype (the ultimate ‘professional’!) has been in my life. I hate enneagram 3. Being accommodating, flexible, losing myself to roles and ideas about who I am, objectifying myself, picking myself up off the floor and pushing myself to succeed... Success isn’t wealth, though money makes finding stimulation for SX needs easier. Success is being an impressive woman. If I am not impressive, no one will love me.

    I’m 41 and going through my skin changing texture, noticing wrinkles, and facing one more strike against my worthiness and facing my own ageism. I’ve never been the most beautiful, but my looks have made my life easy. Other people get to be human and they are loveable. But my trap is believing that I am so broken that I need to be superhuman, however I am defining that this week. I get stuck in performing ideas of myself. And when I get stuck for long in some idea of myself, I start to get depressed because I am no longer BEING me, I’m DOING me. And it is exhausting. Trying to be a better version of myself is self-aggressive. Self-improvement junky. That is what I have been since I was a teenager. That’s a 3. The 4 part of me is sensitive, introspective part of me who needs to self-express and has felt compelled to write since I can remember. I have been trying to find a way to express myself in a way that people can receive me. The 4 is the part of me who rejects and hates others for not loving me. Who hates to be misunderstood. The 4 is the sensitive part I reject when I pick my crying collapsed self off the floor, sewing myself seamlessly into my — personal and professional roles. Because a 4 may wait to be rescued, but a 3 relies on herself. No one is going to save me from my sensitivity and my emotion that threaten to undermine my ability to do the ideal person. My needs to express my authentic self and my needs to be seen as an ideal person are in conflict. Self-expression gets shoved aside when my emotions get in the way of my self-improvement projects or my ideas of who I should be, trying to meet those expectations.

    Part of who I should be has always been a cultural revolutionary. Motherhood and cultural revolutionary are hard to reconcile! I know I perform for people. I have often criticized myself for this. And lately, I hold it more lightly. I enjoy performance. You should see me in a group! That is when I really shine. I can say outrageous things. I’m an excellent public speaker. I ride the waves of the room. I set myself on fire in public displays of vulnerability. I LIKE shaking things up like that. I LIKE exploring the edges of things and living life from a place of ‘what will happen if I do this!?’ Sometimes I get burned. Sometimes I make a new friend. Sometimes I end up alone on a greyhound to Montreal with a backpack and a credit card. Sometimes I end up prostituting myself for a pack of cigarettes and a meal at a diner. I was notorious in high school. I ran into someone who I knew from high school and he told me he had heard I was dead, much to my amusement. People told me for years about hearing about when I read a ‘romantic short story’ I had written in front of my 11th grade English class in which I talked explicitly about my own sexual experiences and drug use. I did it to express myself and to start a revolution and for attention! Performing, having the audience hear what I want to say and feel heard and seen matters to me. I’m looking for opportunities to express more often the part of me who needs to perform and be on stage because it feeds me. Taking these risks feels like successes even if I fail these days. Having an audience feeds me. And my revolution is happening from within!
    Tyche, YellowCat and ultracrepidarian thanked this post.

  7. #16
    Type 4w3

    Quote Originally Posted by ericajoy View Post
    I identify as a 3w4 sx, a queer woman, a mother, a psychotherapist and a massage therapist, a wounded healer, an intimacy and self-improvement junky. I do my roles well, because I am a 3, but even though parts of my roles are caregiving, I have little need to be needed, like a 2. I don’t like people to rely on me. It stresses me out. My motives are different. I haven’t enjoyed motherhood. I enjoy knowing my children, but DOING motherhood — it gives me little to no pleasure actually. But not performing that role well gives me so much shame. I consider motherhood part of my personal ‘work’. I ‘do’ romantic relationship, and when I am in one, they take aIl my attention, and I feel like I lose myself and sacrifice myself to the relationship. Success is often gauged by how well I ‘do’ relationships. Or if I am not in one, how well I am measuring up to some internalized standards of who I need to be to find a partner. Who is the ideal person!? Ha! I experience feelings of success in moments of connecting with another person or a group. I monitor energetic connection vigilantly, and if I’m feeling that connection (which I take so much responsibility for) then I am successful.

    I became a massage therapist purely for practical reasons. I needed a job that payed the bills and that offered flexible scheduling. I wanted to start my own business. After a few people told me massage could be a good path, I looked into it. My own path and healing journey has always been so important to me. To me massage school ended up being an opportunity to heal trauma, my relationship with my body, and to start recognizing how prominent the prostitute archetype (the ultimate ‘professional’!) has been in my life. I hate enneagram 3. Being accommodating, flexible, losing myself to roles and ideas about who I am, objectifying myself, picking myself up off the floor and pushing myself to succeed... Success isn’t wealth, though money makes finding stimulation for SX needs easier. Success is being an impressive woman. If I am not impressive, no one will love me.

    I’m 41 and going through my skin changing texture, noticing wrinkles, and facing one more strike against my worthiness and facing my own ageism. I’ve never been the most beautiful, but my looks have made my life easy. Other people get to be human and they are loveable. But my trap is believing that I am so broken that I need to be superhuman, however I am defining that this week. I get stuck in performing ideas of myself. And when I get stuck for long in some idea of myself, I start to get depressed because I am no longer BEING me, I’m DOING me. And it is exhausting. Trying to be a better version of myself is self-aggressive. Self-improvement junky. That is what I have been since I was a teenager. That’s a 3. The 4 part of me is sensitive, introspective part of me who needs to self-express and has felt compelled to write since I can remember. I have been trying to find a way to express myself in a way that people can receive me. The 4 is the part of me who rejects and hates others for not loving me. Who hates to be misunderstood. The 4 is the sensitive part I reject when I pick my crying collapsed self off the floor, sewing myself seamlessly into my — personal and professional roles. Because a 4 may wait to be rescued, but a 3 relies on herself. No one is going to save me from my sensitivity and my emotion that threaten to undermine my ability to do the ideal person. My needs to express my authentic self and my needs to be seen as an ideal person are in conflict. Self-expression gets shoved aside when my emotions get in the way of my self-improvement projects or my ideas of who I should be, trying to meet those expectations.

    Part of who I should be has always been a cultural revolutionary. Motherhood and cultural revolutionary are hard to reconcile! I know I perform for people. I have often criticized myself for this. And lately, I hold it more lightly. I enjoy performance. You should see me in a group! That is when I really shine. I can say outrageous things. I’m an excellent public speaker. I ride the waves of the room. I set myself on fire in public displays of vulnerability. I LIKE shaking things up like that. I LIKE exploring the edges of things and living life from a place of ‘what will happen if I do this!?’ Sometimes I get burned. Sometimes I make a new friend. Sometimes I end up alone on a greyhound to Montreal with a backpack and a credit card. Sometimes I end up prostituting myself for a pack of cigarettes and a meal at a diner. I was notorious in high school. I ran into someone who I knew from high school and he told me he had heard I was dead, much to my amusement. People told me for years about hearing about when I read a ‘romantic short story’ I had written in front of my 11th grade English class in which I talked explicitly about my own sexual experiences and drug use. I did it to express myself and to start a revolution and for attention! Performing, having the audience hear what I want to say and feel heard and seen matters to me. I’m looking for opportunities to express more often the part of me who needs to perform and be on stage because it feeds me. Taking these risks feels like successes even if I fail these days. Having an audience feeds me. And my revolution is happening from within!
    beautifully written, thank you - I relate to a lot of what you said. And totally agree, motherhood can take a toll on 3ness!!!
    ericajoy thanked this post.

  8. #17

    Strictly answering as a SX 3 (sx/so), for me success deep down was to have who I am attracted to, as in a potential partner, be attracted to me too, be wanted and desired by them (a "contest" I haven't won yet lol) - but I am aware now that this comes from me needing to feel attractive and worhy first in my own skin.

    But success can be every little/ mundane thing, not just the 'big things' in life - checking things off my mental "To-Do list" give my Type 3 a boost - being able to get tasks done, no matter how mundane/daily routine stuff or self-care routine (eg. washing hands, showering, eating, doing my hair - to tick off the list such things feel to me like an accomplishment).

  9. #18
    Unknown

    I think Wayne Dyer 'The father of motivation" was very likely a 3, highly influenced by 6 integrations during some of his very best creative works. And I think he is a good example of how the '3 success' is just not limited to many of the more materialistic or superficial goals that 3's are so often associated with. A 3, depending on their unique life experiences, could adopt any cause or goal. It would never be the goal itself that defines the 3, it'll be how they approach it and the psychological relationship to it. Also, because 3's often have a 4 wing or can draw from a 4 wing, I don't think it's uncommon at all to find them in self-helpy vocations; whether that involves personal development or family-marriage counseling or even overcoming deeper psychological hurdles.


     
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