I'm questioning my 9w1 identification. I don't feel I merge as much as I play roles. Shame feels way stronger in me than anger. I've considered 3 before (probably SX, and probably with a 4 wing), but discounted it because I'm not a workaholic in my career and I'm not particularly ambitious about rising up through the ranks (although I had more ambitions in my 20s than now in my 40s). I do relate to the SX version, with needing validation from others mostly in the area of my desirability. That to me is success, among other things. And I want to be admired, but from afar. Not too close!
I believe my long-term partner is a 9, and I think I've just been trying to be what he wants (feminine, desirable, smart, low maintenance, not making waves and disrupting him, etc...). Often when he compliments me on how little "work" I am to be with, I get a twinge of "yeah... but that's not really me...and you probably wouldn't like me if you knew how much "work" I feel like being!!"
I don't know if I'm just giving "success" a limited interpretation, as that's mostly what I read about when I research 3. I'm curious about examples of what success means to you as a 3.