[Enneagram Type 3] SX 3s: how to not worry about outer standards of desirability?

SX 3s: how to not worry about outer standards of desirability?

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  • 1 Post By Eu_citzen

This is a discussion on SX 3s: how to not worry about outer standards of desirability? within the Type 3 Forum - The Achiever forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; I am in the process of becoming more and more aware of my Type Three & the Sexual Subtype, in ...

  1. #1

    SX 3s: how to not worry about outer standards of desirability?

    I am in the process of becoming more and more aware of my Type Three & the Sexual Subtype, in my subconscious; I can observe now how it ruled my life so far, how it controls me from the background...

    I read earlier this paragraph and can relate: "Intimate Threes mask themselves with an image of what a sexually appealing man or woman is. Image is based on community or cultural standards of desirability or a given partner's expectations. If not committed to a specific partner then they will project an image generally and seek sexual conquests." (The Enneagram Blogspot: Type 3: Image-Seeker)

    I would love to be able to not put so much stress on me in regards to the "desirability" or being "sexually appealing". I don't understand yet what do I really seek/perceive in that, so I can stop concerning myself with such...

    That's why I'd like to ask how could I transcend guiding myself by these "community/cultural standards of desirability", or measuring myself to these outer standards, instead of Self?! The only answer i currently can think of is "by knowing my worth". But it doesn't really 'click' yet...

    I wonder if any SX Threes managed to identify the root of this. Or if you may have insights or useful tips on where to look deeper, to be able to deprogram it. Thanks in advance!



  2. #2
    Type 3w4

    That's not what the Sx instinct is about, though. It's largely, in summary, about "intensity of experience" in most aspects of life.
    "intense friendships" often seem to hold a magnetic charge, you gravitate towards them, so to speak. Attracted by some perceived intensity.

    And seeing you type as a 6, I am not sure of what you could do in regards to a Sx 3.
    You need to use the tactics of a 6 to become healthy (de-stress, as to not disintegrate), not those of a 3. Barking up the wrong tree.
    At least IMO.


 

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