[Enneagram Type 3] What Does Frustration Feel Like For You?

What Does Frustration Feel Like For You?

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  • 3 Post By Scruffy

This is a discussion on What Does Frustration Feel Like For You? within the Type 3 Forum - The Achiever forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Hello, Type 3s! hope you're all having lovely days, wherever y'all are in the world. I'm a type 1w9, and ...

  1. #1
    Type 1w9

    What Does Frustration Feel Like For You?

    Hello, Type 3s! hope you're all having lovely days, wherever y'all are in the world.

    I'm a type 1w9, and I'm currently in the college application process. Right now, I'm working on college essays () and one of them describes on a time I helped to calm down a friend on my a cappella team who was in a rage. (For some context: He was lashing out at both us and himself because we were behind on learning our set finale. There was also a time crunch in this scenario: there was less than a month until our big competition, and we hadn't even begun to discuss what our choreography would be.)

    The essay is from a 3rd person POV, but I'm really trying to sell the authenticity of his anger to the reader as much as possible, to immerse them in the moment.

    Now, I don't know for certain what his enneagram type is, so I am not going to project 3 attributes onto him that he wouldn't have. But from what I know of his personality and his background, it's my best guess at his type.

    So, my questions for you all are these:

    • What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?
    • What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    • What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    • Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    • Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?


    thank you all so much in advance !! <3 :)



  2. #2
    Type 3w4

    What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?
    Mostly incompetence and when I'm unable to achieve a goal by something outside of my ability to change it. Like I just went through a move, and what's bothering me about it, is my old landlord dragging their feet on my deposit. It's one of those things that they have a certain date they have to figure it out, and aside from legal avenue, I can't do anything really about it. It's an example of another's incompetence stopping me from achieving my goal of being done with that last place.

    What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    I don't feel my emotions particularly physically, so I don't really know how to answer this.

    What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    When I fall into the pit, I become incredibly nihilistic and get stuck on the idea that I'm empty inside. I don't do a lot of "man I suck" stuff, it's just more about being a nothing, a shell if you will.

    Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    I've been compartmentalizing my emotions since childhood, I consider them to be roadblocks on the way to my goals. I don't particularly bottle or vent, I keep myself stable emotionally and it doesn't seem to leak out or bother me.

    Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?
    I'm extremely solution focused, I don't have a particularly strong sense of inner monologues. I think when I want to solve a problem and move on. Like I said prior, I really only get bothered by things blocking my forward movement that are out of my control. I just get a little bitchy is all.

  3. #3
    Type 3

    • What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?

    Things beyond my control usually. The above is really relatable because that happened to me and I remember how frustrating it was. Whenever I have to follow up with others to make sure they do what I told them to do (ie their job). I feel like we're all adults and you should be doing what you need to do in order to accomplish your job without me prodding you to do so.

    • What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?

    I can talk about the "after" but I don't recognize any physical sensations when I'm actually angry. Afterwards I feel the adrenaline leaving. Depending on how angry it could be shaking or even crying. Sometimes it's just tension.

    • What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?

    I'd say it's a lot of thoughts about how I'm not good enough. I think that's about the core of it. I'm not good enough and I don't deserve anything because I haven't earned it.

    • Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?

    Bottling more than anything. I tend to not deal with my emotions often, though anger I deal with the most out of any of them.

    • Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?

    If I'm having an inner monologue about it, it quickly becomes an outer monologue/rant to anyone who will listen. It's usually about how incompetent others are.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Scruffy View Post
    What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?
    Mostly incompetence and when I'm unable to achieve a goal by something outside of my ability to change it. Like I just went through a move, and what's bothering me about it, is my old landlord dragging their feet on my deposit. It's one of those things that they have a certain date they have to figure it out, and aside from legal avenue, I can't do anything really about it. It's an example of another's incompetence stopping me from achieving my goal of being done with that last place.

    What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    I don't feel my emotions particularly physically, so I don't really know how to answer this.

    What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    When I fall into the pit, I become incredibly nihilistic and get stuck on the idea that I'm empty inside. I don't do a lot of "man I suck" stuff, it's just more about being a nothing, a shell if you will.

    Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    I've been compartmentalizing my emotions since childhood, I consider them to be roadblocks on the way to my goals. I don't particularly bottle or vent, I keep myself stable emotionally and it doesn't seem to leak out or bother me.

    Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?
    I'm extremely solution focused, I don't have a particularly strong sense of inner monologues. I think when I want to solve a problem and move on. Like I said prior, I really only get bothered by things blocking my forward movement that are out of my control. I just get a little bitchy is all.
    ESTP 3W4 , Interesting

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Scruffy View Post
    What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?
    Mostly incompetence and when I'm unable to achieve a goal by something outside of my ability to change it. Like I just went through a move, and what's bothering me about it, is my old landlord dragging their feet on my deposit. It's one of those things that they have a certain date they have to figure it out, and aside from legal avenue, I can't do anything really about it. It's an example of another's incompetence stopping me from achieving my goal of being done with that last place.

    What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    I don't feel my emotions particularly physically, so I don't really know how to answer this.

    What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    When I fall into the pit, I become incredibly nihilistic and get stuck on the idea that I'm empty inside. I don't do a lot of "man I suck" stuff, it's just more about being a nothing, a shell if you will.

    Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    I've been compartmentalizing my emotions since childhood, I consider them to be roadblocks on the way to my goals. I don't particularly bottle or vent, I keep myself stable emotionally and it doesn't seem to leak out or bother me.

    Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?
    I'm extremely solution focused, I don't have a particularly strong sense of inner monologues. I think when I want to solve a problem and move on. Like I said prior, I really only get bothered by things blocking my forward movement that are out of my control. I just get a little bitchy is all.
    ESTP 3W4 , Interesting.

  7. #6
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by emberaurora View Post
    Hello, Type 3s! hope you're all having lovely days, wherever y'all are in the world.

    I'm a type 1w9, and I'm currently in the college application process. Right now, I'm working on college essays () and one of them describes on a time I helped to calm down a friend on my a cappella team who was in a rage. (For some context: He was lashing out at both us and himself because we were behind on learning our set finale. There was also a time crunch in this scenario: there was less than a month until our big competition, and we hadn't even begun to discuss what our choreography would be.)

    The essay is from a 3rd person POV, but I'm really trying to sell the authenticity of his anger to the reader as much as possible, to immerse them in the moment.

    Now, I don't know for certain what his enneagram type is, so I am not going to project 3 attributes onto him that he wouldn't have. But from what I know of his personality and his background, it's my best guess at his type.

    So, my questions for you all are these:

    • What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?
    • What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    • What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    • Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    • Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?


    thank you all so much in advance !! <3 :)
    What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?
    Deadlines, unrealistic resources to achieve results, teammates and colleagues who fail to step up

    What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    Blood starts to boil and flow to the head.

    What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    Anything people say to themselves that is negative and does nothing to improve the situation.
    No, I always plan ahead to solve my problems one at a time until I have an actionable solution, which is what makes me even more mad when others fail to do their job and decided to whine rather than concentrating on solving their problems.

    Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    Usually bottle up my frustration and let it all out at some point after giving them chances to sort out their mess. Played competitive soccer when I was young and had a reputation of lashing at my teammates who became liabilities of the team. I knew I was being an asshole but can't help it. Please go home if you are not ready it's better if you don't show up and waste everybody's time.No, it was always me acting the asshole because I never fail to do my part. You honor what you agreed to do.

    Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?
    f-word s-word all kind of things. Things I may be able to do to salvage the mess.

  8. #7
    Type 7w8

    This image of frustration comes to mind:



    It feels like utter futility. That no matter how hard you try, some quirk of fate will steal the prize you sought. It remains teasingly close, yet always out of reach, torturing you. You keep striving to walk into the light, and reach the end of the tunnel, yet as soon as you feel you've got there, the walls collapse around you, you scream, and fall back down to the bottom. You look around and see other people who don't even have to try - people who either aren't expected to achieve anything, or have got what they needed early and can now relax and enjoy life. How easily they acquire the one thing you've always yearned for and never had! And you just can't understand the complete unfairness of it all.

    What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?

    People expecting me to do more, and more, and more, and more, and more, and more for them with no end. Having to prove myself, make/do/be something before I am accepted, respected and loved, and it never ends. The goalposts keep shifting. Each success just leads to further demands, so I feel like I have to be the best at almost everything to avoid being criticized. I am hardly ever encouraged, nobody ever offers to help me solve a problem I have, and the work and effort that I put into things/people is never acknowledged, yet I'm constantly being criticized for what I don't do, could've or should've done.

    What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    Headaches, sore back, a raised heart rate, dizziness, lethargy and tightness in the chest.

    What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    See below.

    Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    I almost always bottle it up because I get harshly criticized for showing any stress, pain, frustration - any emotion at all. I am expected to be, if not positive, cheerful and excitable, at the very least calm and have my shit together at all times. If I show any emotion in public then people swarm all over me, like wolves taking their pound of flesh to dine on my suffering, I get eaten alive then cast out to rot. The truth is that I am expected to put up, shut up and create shit for what, to entertain other people? Fuck that. I am sick of my individuality being undervalued and refuse to be a tool any longer.

    Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?
    What is the point of all this anyway? Who am I doing it for? What am I doing it for? Why? I never have any fun. Is this really what I want? What's the reason that I exist? Why must I be so deprived of the basic happiness and connection that others enjoy? What have I done to deserve all this? I don't understand. I want to understand, and I want someone else to understand. But all I ever hear is silence, and then a cold voice arrives, laughing: "No-one gives a shit about you, and no-one ever will."
    Last edited by Inside Job; 10-16-2019 at 07:51 PM.

  9. #8
    Type 3w4

    What do you find similar among the things that trigger frustration or rage for you?
    Not quite sure. Usually things which are outside of my control. It can involve others slowing me down to goals I value.
    And similar things. Rage usually only occurs if someone steps on my toes repeatedly.

    What are the first physical sensations that come to mind about frustration for you?
    Hard to describe. Like a knot, pressure in my chest.
    What, to you, is "negative self-talk" -- and have you/do you experience it?
    I am not sure I can think of any negative self-talk as there's been none recently.
    Usually what happens if it may happen I revise tactics to get where I want to go.

    Are you prone to bottling your frustration up, or do you feel like you let off steam pretty healthily? Has it ever been the other way around for you?
    Bottling up. Used to be the other side around when I was unhealthy, and could get emotional for nearly nothing.

    Can you recall what might be a typical part of your internal monologue while you're frustrated?
    In summary: "What is going wrong and why? What can I do to turn things around?"
    Beyond that, it's usually a matter of just letting the emotions play out.


     

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