[Enneagram Type 3] Type 3 Relationship help from a concerned type two

Type 3 Relationship help from a concerned type two

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This is a discussion on Type 3 Relationship help from a concerned type two within the Type 3 Forum - The Achiever forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Hi all, I'm lookin for some help in the relationship department if you can. I'm currently in a 1.5 yr ...

  1. #1
    Type 2

    Type 3 Relationship help from a concerned type two

    Hi all, I'm lookin for some help in the relationship department if you can.

    I'm currently in a 1.5 yr ldr with a type 3 girl (I'm a type 2 boy). We've always been really good at communicating and been very open with each other. Lately, her job has begun dominating her life, which is understandable for type 3s, but at the same time our relationship has been pushed to the side a little bit. Our normally open conversations have become plagued with frustrations/perceived resentment, not a good thing when communication in a ldr shuts down. I recently took a trip out to visit her, however because of work I only ended up seeing one or two days of a two week trip. She is concerned that taking anytime off will anger her coworkers and prevent her from advancing in the future.

    My question is (and hopefully some threes out there can help out) how do I help her grow, as I'm pretty sure she has become unhealthy and is literally paralyzed by her desire for success. I'm trying to show her that I'm on her team, that its possible to successfully balance work with our relationship and want what's best of her/our relationship however my attempts are usually met with annoyance. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!!

    thank you!

  2. #2

    I'm a type3 girl that was in a relationship with a typ2 boy!!! we have exactly the same problem and we got seprate!! so take this piece of advice from me that let her do her job and even encourage her and help her and say it out loud to her!!! it will make her love you more than before and even there's a chance that she let go of her job just for you!!!
    just know that you shouldn't say anything to give her up on his carrier, never ever!!!! good luck man! :)

  3. #3
    Type 2

    Thanks nazanin, that's pretty helpful. I really appreciate the insight from another type3

    What you've said makes a lot of sense. Unfortunately, during my trip Ive already said something's about about easing up on her job a little...:/. Never to give it up though, it definitely annoyed her probably a lot. Do you think it's too late to go back and start being supportive? Or have I irrevocably damaged what we have?
    Nazanin Shariati thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    No, It's never late my friend! just take another trip to her and make her asure of your heart presence with her successes!! It may take time to bring her reliance on again but but you can do 'Couse she want to! :) our type is really emotional, fortunately for u!

  6. #5
    Type 2

    Haha thanks for the support! That's a little funny that you say type 3s are emotional. Before we started dating she was very reserved with her feelings/emotions, she described herself as being "rock like." it definitely got better as we got further along with the relationship. However, she seemed to go back to "rock status" over the past few months which is what concerned me. But I guess the stress from work has caused her to lose touch with her emotions a bit/im just over thinking everything.

    Are you similar in that way or are you more open with your emotions all the time?

  7. #6

    yup!! I'm completely like her with my emotions outside!! but I guess you must know; we just cover up our feelings and emotions!! we just don't want u to know how much feeling is there 'Couse it makes us vulnerable! we take that "rock like" style to threaten u ;)

  8. #7

    the most fearful thing in the world for a type3 girl is to be alone specially emotionally! :)

  9. #8
    Type 2

    ahhhhh i see. well im not sure if she ever has to worry about being alone as she tends to be a social butterfly and makes a lot of connections with people very easily :p. Although im not sure how much of an emotional connection there is there

    that being said, i have another question: while not bugging her about her job/lack of emotions lately am i supposed to tone it back too? i dont want to stifle her with my emotions if its just going to bug her even more. Also, how much of a "back seat" am i supposed to take? my only concern there is that since we are in a ldr that if i take too much of a backseat our relationship will fade into the background and just disappear, obviously not the ideal situation!

  10. #9

    those all social connections that u see is just a thing that fade her fear from being alone!! and no one can take your part in her life, don't worry about it! :) about your "back seat": you just should be her support in her work, it's not like you fade in her world or he can take your relationship to background! you take your place in her heart so don't bother yourself and her with your "kind of relationship thing"!! ;) it make her to believe that you want to give up on her!

  11. #10
    Type 2

    hahah i sure hope you're right! 95% of the time im pretty sure we have something special here, the other 5 i worry a little bit. but i guess ill just take it from you and trust that everything will be ok

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