[Enneagram Type 3] Core Beliefs of 3s According to Beatrice Chestnut

Core Beliefs of 3s According to Beatrice Chestnut

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This is a discussion on Core Beliefs of 3s According to Beatrice Chestnut within the Type 3 Forum - The Achiever forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; "People admire and respect success and achievement. To inspire admiration in others you must be successful and achieve." - "If ...

  1. #1

    Core Beliefs of 3s According to Beatrice Chestnut

    "People admire and respect success and achievement. To inspire admiration in others you must be successful and achieve."
    - "If you achieve high status, you are a valuable person in the eyes of society."
    - "Working hard to achieve specific goals enables me to control the things I do and make me successful."
    - "Getting things done and being productive supports my well being."
    - "Setting goals is an important way to stay organized, get things done and achieve success."
    - "Reaching specific goals depends upon hard work. I work hard to do whatever it takes to reach my goals and remove any obstacles in the way."
    - "Image and appearance matter."
    - "How you look and what you've done tells people what to think and feel about you."
    - "It is important to have the right image for every context so that people will think well of you."
    - "Feelings aren't as important as getting things done. Feelings get in the way of getting things done and so can be a waste of time."



    Stellafera, Ace Face, Stellafera and 23 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Although I'm sure we can all agree I'm not a 3...since I'm going through all these commenting on them...well I can't even be bothered to comment on this one. It's so unlike how I am.

    However, I look forward to hearing from other 3s on this topic. There aren't nearly enough of you on these forums. I eagerly await more 3ish responses!

  3. #3

    I was nodding as I read this. Nodding so damn hard.
    Swordsman of Mana, Ax, ientipi and 1 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Unknown


    @Chesire Tower @Animal ... I have a feeling this one will be quick.

    - "People admire and respect success and achievement. To inspire admiration in others you must be successful and achieve."
    They might do because this is how the world works but I don't care about being admired on the sole basis of something that's not strictly related to who I am. My success can be important but I'm the first one to be critical of it and simply seeing as finding something I enjoy and reaching something I set up for myself, that I believe in. I don't care what other people think of it, even personal things like art are a way to express the feelings I usually keep locked in, if anything too much attention would ruin it.

    - "If you achieve high status, you are a valuable person in the eyes of society."
    Perhaps but it doesn't matter to me.

    - "Working hard to achieve specific goals enables me to control the things I do and make me successful."
    I'd rather have internal control if that makes sense. I want to control them to reach my own ideal, to feel at harmony with myself, to live up to what I think is right and what makes me feel comfortable and satisfied, although I can truly never be. But success as determined by society and its hierarchies is something I don't concern myself with.

    - "Getting things done and being productive supports my well being."
    Sure. Then again, things I really want to do and on my own terms.

    - "Setting goals is an important way to stay organized, get things done and achieve success."
    As usual I don't care about success and I don't like the spotlight but I try to have many goals, to come up with many things one after the other that all become a part of something that just feels right. But I don't always get them done, although I try to be organized, especially thoughts wise, and make my own flexible routines.

    - "Reaching specific goals depends upon hard work. I work hard to do whatever it takes to reach my goals and remove any obstacles in the way."
    I'm not a hardworker unless it's something that means a lot to me, I'd rather accomplish them for my own pleasure. As for removing any obstacles in my way, I'll try to walk on a smooth path but I love challenges, I love going through complications and hard times as they make me grow. It was hard and painful but they always taught me something that I found within me, strengthened my outlook on life or adjusted to what I felt was right. I don't play dirty either, I'll avoid it as much as possible.

    - "Image and appearance matter."
    They matter to me as in they are a representation of who I am inside, I'm not really concerned with leaving an impression rather than being able to be seen the same way I see myself, to be authentic and turn my ideas and feelings into a more concrete reality. I have an unhealthy obsession with my body image although more on a personal discomfort level and need for disappearance. Not a fan of intentional peacocking or dressing to impress others, unless it's someone I really, really care about but I'd still choose something I like and that represents me, if only a bit nicer than usual. Or not.

    - "How you look and what you've done tells people what to think and feel about you."
    It can give an inkling but limiting yourself to appearances and assumptions is something I personally abhor and find shallow. It's got its place in the world and it's not anywhere near me for sure.

    - "It is important to have the right image for every context so that people will think well of you."
    Absolutely not, I'd rather do my own thing and who cares.

    - "Feelings aren't as important as getting things done. Feelings get in the way of getting things done and so can be a waste of time."
    I can't get anything done if my own feelings aren't my push to do so. They can't be exterminated.
    I want to be efficient in my own terms but those include my own feelings, even when I step away from them.
    Last edited by Golden Rose; 01-26-2015 at 04:09 PM.
    Pressed Flowers and Chesire Tower thanked this post.

  6. #5

    -"People admire and respect success and achievement. To inspire admiration in others you must be successful and achieve."
    Yes, this is all true. As to myself...I find that any drive I have towards success is more a matter of self-validation....

    - "If you achieve high status, you are a valuable person in the eyes of society."
    Maybe, but it depends on how we're defining status. I don't care for the traditional trappings of status - fancy material things, high position in some conventional industry attained by clawing one's way to the top - no, if I'm going to have "status" I'd rather it be for the products of my mind, for creating something, being respected by experts in a field.

    - "Working hard to achieve specific goals enables me to control the things I do and make me successful."
    From an intellectual standpoint, yes. However, I'm too lazy for this.

    - "Getting things done and being productive supports my well being."
    Not really. See above.

    - "Setting goals is an important way to stay organized, get things done and achieve success."
    I should learn to set goals more, yes.

    - "Reaching specific goals depends upon hard work. I work hard to do whatever it takes to reach my goals and remove any obstacles in the way."
    LOLno. I mean, yes goals and hard work and all that....I probably could do it, if I could ever find something that attracted me enough. That's tough for me though.

    - "Image and appearance matter."
    I'm embarrassed to admit this but...yes they do. At least to some extent. I mean, I'd like an external image that better reflects...who I want to be....or who I think I am.

    - "How you look and what you've done tells people what to think and feel about you."
    Kind of. I know I'm often ashamed of how I'm 20 and I have no accomplishments to my name. And wonder if other people (besides me) think so poorly of it. To say nothing of how much I fear people looking down on my intelligence, seeing me as pitiful and intellectually inferior. But that's not really image....

    - "It is important to have the right image for every context so that people will think well of you."
    I'm not sure what this means. Chameleoning? I guess I can do that, but differently. It's sort of a natural defense response: go with the flow and don't cause any trouble.

    - "Feelings aren't as important as getting things done. Feelings get in the way of getting things done and so can be a waste of time."
    Yeah, actually. Sometimes you just need to shelve whatever's going on emotionally and get on with it. Thing is, it usually works out for the better.

  7. #6

    Doing this now because I'm bored+possibly a 3

    -"People admire and respect success and achievement. To inspire admiration in others you must be successful and achieve.Yes for the first part, no for the second one. Success and achievement aren't the only things people admire.
    - "If you achieve high status, you are a valuable person in the eyes of society."Yes. Well, depends on what kind of status and how you define valuable but you are a big deal.
    - "Working hard to achieve specific goals enables me to control the things I do and make me successful."
    Most things that are achieved solely by working hard aren't really worth doing, some things anyone can do and no one even gives a shit. Reminds me of people who worked their ass off in school. It's ok to try as hard as necessary if you have some grand plan for the future, but insisting on straight As for the sake of achievement or feeling productive? So teacher would say how nice and hard-working you are? That's a bit pitiful tbh lol
    - "Getting things done and being productive supports my well being."Maybe
    - "Setting goals is an important way to stay organized, get things done and achieve success."I don't think it's necessary to set goals
    - "Reaching specific goals depends upon hard work. I work hard to do whatever it takes to reach my goals and remove any obstacles in the way."
    Yes, when it comes to some things. Especially specific goals, but I don't have many of those. And I think people believing hard work to the point of saying something depends on it is a sign they haven't seen life xD
    Work can be important but I think that by working (of any kind, not just WORK) we are just taking what's already our's.
    - "Image and appearance matter."
    Definitely
    - "How you look and what you've done tells people what to think and feel about you."This sounds a bit too...can't find the English word for it, but yes, I agree, it's just that I'd put it as "Who you are"(while keeping in mind people don't see all of you, but they do see more than original belief implies)
    - "It is important to have the right image for every context so that people will think well of you."Yes, when it comes to some situations, and I'm annoyed by people who want something but are not willing to change themselves.
    That said, I don't think I have the right image for every context, how I appear is more important than if people like it, with most people at least. I don't mind being hated if it's out of jealousy
    - "Feelings aren't as important as getting things done. Feelings get in the way of getting things done and so can be a waste of time."No.
    Well, yes, if you really wanna get things done, but I don't put it as a priority. It also depends on what I'm trying to do, I can sacrifice personal comfort for the sake of some goals, for example I might punish someone to teach them a lesson even though I feel sorry for them.
    But actual goals, like career and similar, no, I don't even see a reason why.

  8. #7
    Type 3w2

    Well, it's a bit exaggerated. It's funny that 3 are seen as blindly focused on the success. But well, perhaps being NTJ makes me different 3.

    I am 3w4 for sure. Thought it would be nice to leave a comment.

    "People admire and respect success and achievement. To inspire admiration in others you must be successful and achieve."
    First is true. Lol. And that's what I seek. Second - partly true, being successful is not the only way to inspire others. I mean it. But, of course, if you are, it will be easier.
    - "If you achieve high status, you are a valuable person in the eyes of society."
    Not really. Look at Elon Musk. This guy is successful, and is definitely valuable , because he helps the world. But not every high status person is like this :).
    - "Working hard to achieve specific goals enables me to control the things I do and make me successful."
    I don't think working hard is the key to success. Focusing on one won't make you successful. Well, depends on what you see as being successful. So I have been in the university for 2 weeks now. Many guys learnt something about health care, they worked hard, for the betters grades in the uni. Lol. And that would seem hard working. While for real, they'll forget what they learnt in 1month, and that final grade doesn't really matter at all.
    Or this guy in school I sat together in physics. Lol. He worked very hard! But he didn't care about other stuff, and now he needs it, but it's too hard for him now. He will waste much more time to learn that, and by that time, those who chose another path, will have surpassed him on physics.
    I know that hard working is typical for 3, but I don't see it in myself. I have an engine that leads me to working as much as I can, but I am not focusing on one thing. It's a huge mistake.
    - "Getting things done and being productive supports my well being."
    Well, I guess. I care about that.
    - "Setting goals is an important way to stay organized, get things done and achieve success."
    No. Things change over time. You can't be overly organized. I mean, you shouldn't. Also, at least for me, it doesn't work, as I can't follow my plans, I can't execute them. I can't follow the routine. As one ENTJ has said - ENTJs are creatures of habit, not routine. Again, I might sound as P now, but being in the middle of flexible and organized is the way.
    I am really the one who plans, wants to organize, but for me, well, it doesn't work. However, if I could transform myself to ISTJ at times, well, I would become next Bill Gates.
    - "Reaching specific goals depends upon hard work. I work hard to do whatever it takes to reach my goals and remove any obstacles in the way."
    Again. I don't go towards the goal with no eyes, looking at what's on the way to it.
    - "Image and appearance matter."
    Of course!
    - "How you look and what you've done tells people what to think and feel about you."
    I'd agree.
    - "It is important to have the right image for every context so that people will think well of you."
    Definitely. Always.
    - "Feelings aren't as important as getting things done. Feelings get in the way of getting things done and so can be a waste of time."
    Again. Exaggerated. 3 are not cold and blind dogs. At least, I am not. But yea, I getting things done is more important.
    Last edited by Apple Pine; 09-20-2015 at 08:28 AM.
    fair phantom and sweet morphine thanked this post.

  9. #8
    Type 9w8

    I are with almost all of the bottom half
    I'm not organized and my goals are adaptable

  10. #9
    Type 3w4

    I'm at least 90% like this list. If I was less perfectionnist, I would say 100% to be honest.
    The only thing is my 4 wing which has its own definition of success (mix of traditionnal way and my view)

  11. #10

    Defintely not a perfectionist, but achieving glory, for lack of a better word, is so central to my purpose it goes through my mind at LEAST once a day


     
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