[Enneagram Type 3] 3s and controversy

3s and controversy

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This is a discussion on 3s and controversy within the Type 3 Forum - The Achiever forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Being seen in negative light but not inferior, doing morally questionable things, being the bad guy. How do you deal ...

  1. #1
    Unknown

    3s and controversy

    Being seen in negative light but not inferior, doing morally questionable things, being the bad guy.
    How do you deal with it?

    That was one of the first things that pulled me towards 3 as soon as I got into enneagram, 3s seemed like the type to say "Everyone hates me, therefore everyone's thinking about me, therefore I'm better than you"
    Tbh I personally prefer being hated or knowing I'll become hated at some point to being 'liked', although I do sometimes enjoy being loved and seen for who I am by at least one person.
    Polexia and sinaasappel thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Unknown

    Forgot something.
    When I'm friends with a truly kind person who cares about being good and liked for it, I try to be nicer for them because I really don't wanna hurt them.
    But that happens rarely, many 'nice' people I've known just wanted someone to encourage them to be bad-that's what makes me even worse

  3. #3
    Type 3

    Quote Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
    Being seen in negative light but not inferior, doing morally questionable things, being the bad guy.
    How do you deal with it?
    The past year I've gone through a lot of feelsy stuff where I have been painted as the bad guy when I haven't done anything bad. I've been dragged into fights between my brother and BF, and despite having taken no part in the actual fighting. Having done nothing (for reals). I was the one people excluded. My parents discussed with my brother and cousin whether or not to stop talking to me all together. My sisters wedding was sucky for me because of this (it was majorly uncomfortable and I had to really fucking rise so hard above everyone to even manage going.) same goes for every other family thing the past year.

    This sucked because I hadn't done anything. Other people, however, had what seemed like a major campaign going: against me.

    When I have done things that have been out of line, or I've been disliked, or when people find my actions "morally questionable" I handle it just fine. Not everyone things the same way I do and that's okay. And if something I do or how I am isn't someone's cup of tea I'm good with that as well.

    Being the bad guy doesn't really feel that bad. It depends what it's based on of/c, but generally. I'm okay with it.

    That was one of the first things that pulled me towards 3 as soon as I got into enneagram, 3s seemed like the type to say "Everyone hates me, therefore everyone's thinking about me, therefore I'm better than you"
    Tbh I personally prefer being hated or knowing I'll become hated at some point to being 'liked', although I do sometimes enjoy being loved and seen for who I am by at least one person.
    I prefer being hated contra being "liked". Seriously! If people are pretending to like me or are sucking up etc. I know instantly and I lose respect for them.

    (As for being disliked etc... As I said in a thread somewhere else on the forum: I <3 my haters. how can I not: devoting that much time and energy on me when they are just a tiny spec in my world. It's amazing.
    Darkbloom, Apple Pine and Stable Genius thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Type 9w8

    Quote Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
    Being seen in negative light but not inferior, doing morally questionable things, being the bad guy.
    How do you deal with it?

    That was one of the first things that pulled me towards 3 as soon as I got into enneagram, 3s seemed like the type to say "Everyone hates me, therefore everyone's thinking about me, therefore I'm better than you"
    Tbh I personally prefer being hated or knowing I'll become hated at some point to being 'liked', although I do sometimes enjoy being loved and seen for who I am by at least one person.
    I had to learn to live with it, because I was always suspected of doing something or scheming, it especially hit me hard when I was younger because all I wanted to do was achieve in a sense but I was never really expected to make it as far as I did


    Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
    Darkbloom, Vanitas and RubberDuckDudette thanked this post.

  6. #5

    People who like you are more likely to do what you want/are easier to be manipulated. People who hate you are more likely to try to undermine you. Therefore, I prefer people to like me than hate me
    Stable Genius thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Type 3w2

    I honestly don't get a lot of hate for my personality. 3-2


    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G928A using Tapatalk

  8. #7
    Type 9w1

    Enneagram 9 here, I've always found 3s very likeable or at the very least admirable to some degree. You guys have a great ambition, drive and usually are intelligent. I really respect that genuinely.
    Last edited by Enygmatic; 11-30-2015 at 03:05 PM.
    Kalix, Polexia, RubberDuckDudette and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #8
    Type 3w4

    I believe I am usually liked by people or respected, not hated. Well, even if someone hates me, I don't really care

  10. #9
    Type 7w8

    I am mostly well liked but some people hate me because I can be loudmouthed and edgy in my way of talking and doing things, but others will love me for the same things (having a sense of humor and pushing buttons). I also get bad things for being considered a drama queen but I hardly if ever start any, I just loudly enjoy drama that happens around me and instigate occasionally (don't like getting involved at all). I'm mostly actually trying to solve it if it comes my way.

    When I'm accused of being the bad guy in things I tend to get really offended. I'll try to put up a strong argument against it and I usually do because I'm rarely ever the bad guy in things.

  11. #10
    Type 6w7

    This is classic 3w2 vs 3w4.
    3w2 needs to be liked. 3w4's motto is "I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me".


     
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