I was a bit like that throughout my teens. I'd constantly hear stories about people being kicked out of their homes with these excessively dramatic families, some having to sleep in their cars or go to a backpackers because their mother was a drug addict, and deep down, as unsympathetic as it sounds, I had that inner thought of: "I wish I had a life like that". Of course, I never at heart wanted that life at all, and I really felt for these boys and girls my age and in my class, that I devoted myself to keeping them well, sometimes making them sandwiches for lunch and whatnot; but, there was a level of intensity of which they had and I did not, and I wanted that in my life, or to at least have experienced it. If we talk about integrations, I probably had that 1-ness that drew a principled behaviour as a form of protection that enabled my curiosity about their lives to actually help them.
It feels very peculiar trying to think about it, because it's almost paradoxical, or a cognitive dissonance, of believing what I don't believe, wanting what I don't want, needing what I don't need. Sometimes I'd try to enhance my own dissatisfaction or miseries merely to maybe feel something that others hadn't felt before, but I'd keep it all internalised so nobody else would hear or know about it. Like a secret only I know. It's quite pathetic, if I'm honest, but I think there comes a following sense of empathy towards those who naturally are feeling those emotions, and if I - or anybody who does this - can control it for the good, I think that can be quite a powerful tool.
Anyway, I think this just falls into the infamous 'grass is always greener on the other side'; simultaneously, or this might be a 4w5 concept, there comes not only a desire to feel and experience others' intensities due to an underlying envy that they have something we don't, but a further hoarding of the emotions we possess because we don't want others to experience them. Having a long think about it now, it's no wonder this gets labelled at 'Daunting'.