[Enneagram Type 4] Fear of... losing everything

Fear of... losing everything

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This is a discussion on Fear of... losing everything within the Type 4 Forum - The Individualist forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Do you have this fear?...

  1. #1

    Fear of... losing everything

    Do you have this fear?



  2. #2

    As I get older I realize you lose people one by one.

    Connections lose their magic.

    People abandon you.

    Your freedom is lost, your responsibilities grow.

    Judgments from others augment, as faith in yourself wavers.

    This leaves me with the fear of eventually losing everything.

  3. #3

    Yes. It is called death.
    TheDarknessInTheSnow thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by The Exception View Post
    Yes. It is called death.
    but what about death of everything around you.... except for you

  6. #5

    Never , If you think like that you need more confidence.
    TheDarknessInTheSnow thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Type 4

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDarknessInTheSnow View Post
    As I get older I realize you lose people one by one.
    Connections lose their magic.
    People abandon you.
    Your freedom is lost, your responsibilities grow.
    Judgments from others augment, as faith in yourself wavers.
    This leaves me with the fear of eventually losing everything.
    Interesting. I could see some of this being a result of having the wrong idea as a young person, wrong idea about what life is going to be like. If you go in expecting relations to last forever, then you’ll be existentially ripped apart when relations fade or people leave. Or if you think at a certain point you’ll get to relax in some peaceful freedom rather than having more and more responsibilities then you’ll be similarly disappointed.

    I think most of us are let down when we find all of the above to be the case. It’s kind of shitty for all the points mentioned. But if we accept that those are the case, then we can also appreciate the opposing points…. that new people enter, that there’s some fun to the new responsibilities. You can develop more detachment from the judgements other people have of you.

    We can also stay with the shitty side of it and develop some amount of renunciation… thinking this life is a pleasure grove when maybe it isn’t. Get rid of the wrong concept, have some renunciation, and maybe some further peace that way. I don’t know.. those are my first thoughts. Come to terms with it and then death won't be so bad.
    TheDarknessInTheSnow and Kyusaku thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Type 4

    Accept and welcome change
    TheDarknessInTheSnow thanked this post.

  9. #8

    I live quite a minimalist lifestyle, so there isn't much for me to lose.

    For a period of time in my early 20s I feared the abandonment of everybody branching off into their own lives and careers, whilst I'll be left behind; and for a while, instead of putting in more effort to get further into my career at the time, I think I over-worked myself and threw everything away. It was a strange dynamic at the time, but freeing when I realised I'd had no value in my ambitions to begin with -- nothing was me -- and then I cut everybody out. So, I suppose to counter that fear you've described, I deliberately got rid of everything in order to gain control over the fear, instead of the fear controlling me.

    With many fears, I find that if I see them as inner demons, I can communicate with them somehow and get a better understanding of why they are what they are. From there, it's as if I'm more conscious of them, that I'm "in on the game", as it were, and can thus gain more control of my life, over my situation. Maybe in your case you need to do some introspection to find what 'everything' means to you, and why you're so afraid to lose that. I own, there are small bit and pieces of which I've put my heart and soul into, and I am very afraid to lose all of those.

    As the poem goes, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
    TheDarknessInTheSnow and prsvrnc thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Type 4w5

    Is that what fear or losing love and affection and attention from someone is? Fear of abandoment?

    Everytime I hear someone say they fear abandoment I think of a child being abandoned by a parent, but is the fear of losing people, like them never talking to you again, the fear of abandoment?
    TheDarknessInTheSnow thanked this post.

  11. #10

     
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