[Enneagram Type 4] Can 4w3s be introverted, shy or quiet?

Can 4w3s be introverted, shy or quiet?

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Results 1 to 7 of 7
Thank Tree7Thanks
  • 1 Post By justhannahsis
  • 2 Post By TheDarknessInTheSnow
  • 1 Post By justhannahsis
  • 2 Post By TheDarknessInTheSnow
  • 1 Post By justhannahsis

This is a discussion on Can 4w3s be introverted, shy or quiet? within the Type 4 Forum - The Individualist forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; Help! Ok, so, I'm very confused as to what's my wing. Before anyone comments the basic descriptions of a 4w3 ...

  1. #1

    Can 4w3s be introverted, shy or quiet?

    Help! Ok, so, I'm very confused as to what's my wing. Before anyone comments the basic descriptions of a 4w3 and w5, I just wanna say, that yes, I've read the descriptions of both, but I'm still really confused. The thing is that according to the posts I've read, 4w3s are more extroverted and talkative and "extra/dramatic", and 4w5s are basically the quiet and introverted ones that just observe and "sulk" in a corner, and I feel like both of those descriptions are too extreme. The thing is that I seem like a 4w5, and many people would think or say that I'm a 4w5, because I am pretty reserved and shy-ish, but I perceive myself or see myself as a 4w3 because of the side of me that wants other people to perceive the unique, artistic, and deep side of me. Like, my fashion style/taste is pretty showy and "indie" (I kind of hate that word but ok). And I've heard a lot about how 4w5s are usually the type of people that know that they're unique and don't care if others see or acknowledge it, and that they don't really care to dress too "out there". I'm so confused though.

    Can someone please tell me if there's another example that could help clarify the differences between these wings or can anybody tell me a different way that I can tell what my wing is? I really know and wanna be sure. Because I don't want to say I'm something I'm not. I've done the eclecticenergies test and have gotten both results so now I don't know what to do.

    Oh, also, I don't know if this is relevant but I'm an ISFP.
    TheDarknessInTheSnow thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Yes. I am proof. I'm introverted but being 4w3 makes me more connected to the external world (using impression management) than 4w5. I don't relate entirely to the described flair of the 4w3, because at the end of the day I'm a social 4, who has insecurities socially. If you have a fear of failure and feel somewhat like you need to be successful to be loved, than you have a 3 wing, and just ignore the descriptions :)
    Last edited by TheDarknessInTheSnow; 08-17-2018 at 07:11 PM.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDarknessInTheSnow View Post
    Yes. I am proof. I'm introverted but being 4w3 makes me more connected to the external world (using impression management) than 4w5. I don't relate entirely to the described flair of the 4w3, because at the end of the day I'm a social 4, who has insecurities socially. If you have a fear of failure and feel somewhat like you need to be successful to be loved, than you have a 3 wing, and just ignore the descriptions :)
    Yes, I definitely fear failure. Especially when it comes to performing in front of others, but I feel like fear of failure is pretty vague and most people have it. Is there any other trait that made you lean towards 4w3 and not w5?
    TheDarknessInTheSnow thanked this post.

  4. Remove Advertisements
    PersonalityCafe.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by justhannahsis View Post
    Yes, I definitely fear failure. Especially when it comes to performing in front of others, but I feel like fear of failure is pretty vague and most people have it. Is there any other trait that made you lean towards 4w3 and not w5?
    You're right, that is vague. Maybe not fear of failure, but fear of failing. Fear of failure may include being wishy-washy with pursuing dreams, and concerned about whether the investment will be worth the outcome. That's actually unlike a 3, because a 3 believes the end justifies the means and are usually optimistic about their abilities. I think fear of failing means literally fearing what others would think of you if you were to fail, fearing the shame that will come with that failure, etc. Success goes much broader to a 3 than to the typical person, and can even be on the micro-level (which includes the need to be looked upon favorably in immediate interactions with others, and compare favorably to others in a social circle in minor ways). I kinda don't relate to a 3 as much on the micro-level, but definitely with overall accomplishments. Generally I have qualities of a 3, like needing success to feel validated / worthy / loved (much deeper than a typical person's relationship with success), and I am extra-oriented towards image (which is ultimately by accumulating achievements). But unlike a 3, I am much more concerned with my identity and emotions. I am more self-aware and truthful, so I am able to disconnect from my 3 wing and admit my faults, and ultimately identify the unhealthy aspects of my 3 side. I also prioritize differently than a 3. I wouldn't sacrifice authenticity and individuality for success, but I do strive for success as a by-product of authenticity and individuality. 4w5s would be much more interested in their own pursuits and passions, regardless of the potential for success. You can be balanced and have both of these wings equally influencing you, but a 3 would accumulate success and actively paint a polished image, while a 5 would obsess with accumulating information to ensure their survival and tame their insecurities. So I guess evaluate not only the patterns you project, but the motivations behind the patterns. I don't really know more than that, but I hope this helps!
    Last edited by TheDarknessInTheSnow; 08-17-2018 at 08:04 PM.
    justhannahsis and prsvrnc thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDarknessInTheSnow View Post
    You're right, that is vague. Maybe not fear of failure, but fear of failing. Fear of failure may include being wishy-washy with pursuing dreams, and concerned about whether the investment will be worth the outcome. That's actually unlike a 3, because a 3 believes the end justifies the means and are usually optimistic about their abilities. I think fear of failing means literally fearing what others would think of you if you were to fail, fearing the shame that will come with that failure, etc. Success goes much broader to a 3 than to the typical person, and can even be on the micro-level (which includes the need to be looked upon favorably in immediate interactions with others, and compare favorably to others in a social circle in minor ways). I kinda don't relate to a 3 as much on the micro-level, but definitely with overall accomplishments. Generally I have qualities of a 3, like needing success to feel validated / worthy / loved (much deeper than a typical person's relationship with success), and I am extra-oriented towards image (which is ultimately by accumulating achievements). But unlike a 3, I am much more concerned with my identity and emotions. I am more self-aware and truthful, so I am able to disconnect from my 3 wing and admit my faults, and ultimately identify the unhealthy aspects of my 3 side. I also prioritize differently than a 3. I wouldn't sacrifice authenticity and individuality for success, but I do strive for success as a by-product of authenticity and individuality. 4w5s would be much more interested in their own pursuits and passions, regardless of the potential for success. You can be balanced and have both of these wings equally influencing you, but a 3 would accumulate success and actively paint a polished image, while a 5 would obsess with accumulating information to ensure their survival and tame their insecurities. So I guess evaluate not only the patterns you project, but the motivations behind the patterns. I don't really know more than that, but I hope this helps!
    Thanks for clarifying! I definitely think both wings kind of equally influence me, but I'm leaning more towards 4w3 now, even though I am a pretty quiet person around people I'm not close to. But I guess that's just a personal thing that doesn't have to do with wings.
    TheDarknessInTheSnow thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Type 4w3


    Quote Originally Posted by justhannahsis View Post
    Help! Ok, so, I'm very confused as to what's my wing. Before anyone comments the basic descriptions of a 4w3 and w5, I just wanna say, that yes, I've read the descriptions of both, but I'm still really confused. The thing is that according to the posts I've read, 4w3s are more extroverted and talkative and "extra/dramatic", and 4w5s are basically the quiet and introverted ones that just observe and "sulk" in a corner, and I feel like both of those descriptions are too extreme. The thing is that I seem like a 4w5, and many people would think or say that I'm a 4w5, because I am pretty reserved and shy-ish, but I perceive myself or see myself as a 4w3 because of the side of me that wants other people to perceive the unique, artistic, and deep side of me. Like, my fashion style/taste is pretty showy and "indie" (I kind of hate that word but ok). And I've heard a lot about how 4w5s are usually the type of people that know that they're unique and don't care if others see or acknowledge it, and that they don't really care to dress too "out there". I'm so confused though.

    Can someone please tell me if there's another example that could help clarify the differences between these wings or can anybody tell me a different way that I can tell what my wing is? I really know and wanna be sure. Because I don't want to say I'm something I'm not. I've done the eclecticenergies test and have gotten both results so now I don't know what to do.

    Oh, also, I don't know if this is relevant but I'm an ISFP.
    4w5 is darker, more catty, more aggressive, more vain. 4w3 is more narcissistic, more allowing, does not cultivate as much of a "style" except that the love for elitist, shopping mall looks. As a core-fix so/sp 4w3 I don't really have a style myself since I want to be seen as competent in something. Less about being "special." Social 4w3 becomes extroverted when they feel they have to prove themselves, they need to show they are competent, able to do things (or having had achieved achievements), 4w5 puts their uniqueness on the front but does not think in terms of "am I good enough" in someone else's standards. 4w3 is more shallow, we may want more glitter than depth - they may want to feel honest, hence, as I did, would opt for 4w5. If someone is a tertiary 4 and a primary gut type, then they may want to show depth in order to prove they are more than their body. Like some 4w5s may push harder on the "I'm spiritual/artist/special" image, than admitting that they are more interested in booze and party (masqueraded as an indie-event with nostalgic polaroid photos, etc).

  8. #7
    Type 4w3

    Yeah , i'm introverted 4w3 too and i have So blindness. But , coz i have 3 wings. I can really expressive and dramatic.


     

Similar Threads

  1. Post A Photo of A Place Where You Will Be, Or Want To Be
    By Crowbo in forum Travel & Local Interests
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 08-04-2019, 11:24 PM
  2. What are you reading (Doesn't have to be a book it can also be a magazine)
    By Electra in forum Book, Music, & Movie Reviews
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 03-08-2019, 08:12 PM
  3. [Enneagram Type 4] 4w3s: Do you guys ever get annoyed with other 4s, especially other 4w3s?
    By Faunae in forum Type 4 Forum - The Individualist
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 08-26-2014, 10:23 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:46 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0