question in title.
This is a discussion on What happens when you get what you long for? Or do you ever get what you long for? within the Type 4 Forum - The Individualist forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; question in title....
question in title.
I found a special place in the heart of someone I love dearly. I will always long for more because that's just my nature. I used to believe I would never be good enough to have that place. It's soul warming, honestly. My mind likes to make a lot of things feel impossibly out of reach to me but having good things like this happen is really grounding, especially since I can be so glum about everything.
Getting what I long for is something that is I think of a paradoxical nature -- it's both something that I can feel grateful and happy about some of the time, but not all the time (depending on whether I feel access to that for which I've longed, and have obtained, in any given moment) -- but also, it's something that I realize I have the power to "relax into" and surrender into, and bring to life really in most any moment, so that I have the capacity to "work on" feeling more of what I long for in any given moment.
It helps that what I've most longed for has been intimacy with the Divine. That this isn't contingent on what other people do or don't do, how another person feels about me, or doesn't....what I have in the world or don't have....is very helpful.
Having obtained blissful contentment because I have what I've longed for -- doesn't mean that I always feel the same level of contentment or bliss (I don't ) or that there aren't various obstacles that arise in feeling such. For instance if I have pain in my back or have a task to do that I dont' like and am avoiding...those things do get in the way. But they dissipate....and the Divine reality does not. It remains.
Heaven knows you are miserable then.
At the end of the day..... you (I) realize(d) that the only way to get what you want is to change your surroundings, including the people around you. Stay where you are, surrounded by toxic people, and you are doomed to repeat old patterns, even though you are aware of these patterns and consciously fighting to change them for the better.
I'm not sure if I can get what I long for because I long for so many things! My life feels like a series of dreams that bleed into each other. There is always something new to long for and to dream about
Last edited by Neokortex; 03-30-2019 at 06:38 AM.
Think I end up self-sabotaging because on some level I don't feel like I deserve it.