[Enneagram Type 4] What happens when you get what you long for? Or do you ever get what you long for?

What happens when you get what you long for? Or do you ever get what you long for?

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This is a discussion on What happens when you get what you long for? Or do you ever get what you long for? within the Type 4 Forum - The Individualist forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; question in title....

  1. #1
    Type 4w5

    What happens when you get what you long for? Or do you ever get what you long for?

    question in title.
    Monandock thanked this post.



  2. #2

    I found a special place in the heart of someone I love dearly. I will always long for more because that's just my nature. I used to believe I would never be good enough to have that place. It's soul warming, honestly. My mind likes to make a lot of things feel impossibly out of reach to me but having good things like this happen is really grounding, especially since I can be so glum about everything.

  3. #3
    Type 4w5

    Blissful contentment!

    Getting what I long for is something that is I think of a paradoxical nature -- it's both something that I can feel grateful and happy about some of the time, but not all the time (depending on whether I feel access to that for which I've longed, and have obtained, in any given moment) -- but also, it's something that I realize I have the power to "relax into" and surrender into, and bring to life really in most any moment, so that I have the capacity to "work on" feeling more of what I long for in any given moment.

    It helps that what I've most longed for has been intimacy with the Divine. That this isn't contingent on what other people do or don't do, how another person feels about me, or doesn't....what I have in the world or don't have....is very helpful.

    Having obtained blissful contentment because I have what I've longed for -- doesn't mean that I always feel the same level of contentment or bliss (I don't ) or that there aren't various obstacles that arise in feeling such. For instance if I have pain in my back or have a task to do that I dont' like and am avoiding...those things do get in the way. But they dissipate....and the Divine reality does not. It remains.
    Allyrah, AnneM and Firalae thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Type 4

    Heaven knows you are miserable then.
    Allyrah, Firalae and king friday thanked this post.

  6. #5

    At the end of the day..... you (I) realize(d) that the only way to get what you want is to change your surroundings, including the people around you. Stay where you are, surrounded by toxic people, and you are doomed to repeat old patterns, even though you are aware of these patterns and consciously fighting to change them for the better.
    Allyrah and Firalae thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Type 4w5

    I'm not sure if I can get what I long for because I long for so many things! My life feels like a series of dreams that bleed into each other. There is always something new to long for and to dream about
    Vikka, Allyrah and blues of green thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Type 4w3


    Quote Originally Posted by thesleepybean View Post
    At the end of the day..... you (I) realize(d) that the only way to get what you want is to change your surroundings, including the people around you. Stay where you are, surrounded by toxic people, and you are doomed to repeat old patterns, even though you are aware of these patterns and consciously fighting to change them for the better.
    I second that. I guess, the point of the 4 is to give up on high falutin' ideals and settle down with the ordinary, the average. Get used to all the abuses of life to brush it off your shoulder after the next encounter. I don't really get the development or "integration" descriptions of the type: maybe there's no point to life to find, maybe it's more about accepting that you can't change it, so as to try to make difference only wherever and whenever that's realistic, in baby steps. Changing places is half a solution because we will always carry some of our patterns with us. But I hope with time and effort one can climb out of and up into less stressful places, into a middle class suburban tranquility, into a sinecure job, etc., etc. Not that life has received any new, definite meaning, but you can get by, can manage to put up with it and hold out in relative peace with this form of existence until the reaper comes.
    thesleepybean and Izo - neXus thanked this post.

  9. #8
    Type 5w6

    Quote Originally Posted by Neokortex View Post
    ... But I hope with time and effort one can climb out of and up into less stressful places, into a middle class suburban tranquility, into a sinecure job, etc., etc. Not that life has received any new, definite meaning, but you can get by, can manage to put up with it and hold out in relative peace with this form of existence until the reaper comes.
    Yes. I've given up hope of being rich or famous. But I'm comfortable. I live with people I care a lot for. I have just a very few very good friends. And yes, relative peace until the reaper comes sounds about right. I'm DONE with drama.

  10. #9
    Type 4w3


    Quote Originally Posted by Elspeth View Post
    Yes. I've given up hope of being rich or famous. But I'm comfortable. I live with people I care a lot for. I have just a very few very good friends. And yes, relative peace until the reaper comes sounds about right. I'm DONE with drama.
    All caps D-O-N-E. :) Is that why you don't indicate an E4 (but a 5w6)? Middle-class-comfortable, huh? The irony I intended is that the Enneagram has an E2 bias, it uses very accurate personality analysis to tell people how to survive. It doesn't account for cases when survival wasn't the solution.
    Last edited by Neokortex; 03-30-2019 at 06:38 AM.
    blues of green thanked this post.

  11. #10

    Think I end up self-sabotaging because on some level I don't feel like I deserve it.
    Allyrah, L P and Firalae thanked this post.


     
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