[Enneagram Type 4] Have you ever felt you are unfit for human company?

Have you ever felt you are unfit for human company?

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This is a discussion on Have you ever felt you are unfit for human company? within the Type 4 Forum - The Individualist forums, part of the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 category; This is really a most ridiculous question. I know I am unfit for human company. Do you feel ever that ...

  1. #1
    Type 4w5

    Have you ever felt you are unfit for human company?

    This is really a most ridiculous question. I know I am unfit for human company. Do you feel ever that you are unfit for human company? The flip side is, obviously, no human being is worth my company. Or at least those who do deserve to have my company won't let me in. Have you ever been in such a no-man's-land emotionally? How was it?

    I have no clue why I am asking this. Just a whim. Anything positive runs away from the sight of me.
    Pensive Fine thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Type 4w5

    Sort of. Sometimes I just feel like there's too many difficult points that are hard to work through. I'm too particular about things other people don't care about and other people are too particular about things I don't care about. Meh, not even to mention plaguing feelings of self-hatred and fear of contaminating other people with myself.

  3. #3
    Type 4w3

    Yeah I feel similarly. I feel like those I want to get to know more would never like me, and if they somehow did like me I'm the one who is unworthy. So I convince myself that they will shut me out if I try talking to them and the best thing to do is shut them out first. And that anyone I am capable of getting to know better are just uninteresting people. Most of the time I do feel like I'm just incapable of having any sort of meaningful relationship with any other human.
    Pensive Fine, burningsoul, prsvrnc and 1 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Don't be hard on yourself and human company these isn't what it used to be, the lack of depth with people hurts but there is nothing anyone can do about it. This world is not a good place for those who want real lasting connections with other beings as it all rarely lasts other than bad karma.
    Pensive Fine, BossNum1 and Voyageur thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Have days I feel it pretty acutely, so shaky I'm basically impenetrable to others. Plenty of longing and contempt. Consuming feelings to be sure, leaves me wondering is it really true who I am is not how I feel?
    Pensive Fine, burningsoul and Voyageur thanked this post.

  7. #6

    Alas, the struggle of enneagram 4. It is a daily recurring thought for me about how different I feel compared to many of my peers my age. Perhaps it is with different interests and myself being largely fixated on trying to understand human emotions that starkly contrast how everyone else seems to just want 'harmless' small talk, talking about topics that don't give any way towards vulnerability. At times I can feel somewhat aristocratic towards other people for not being as deep as I am and feel a swash of pride whenever I am acknowledged for being deep. The way I view people is not the best and can further isolate me. In order to form connections with people, usually you need some level of trust which starts out by conversing on more light hearted topic, which I struggle with a lot. This is due to my lack of common and foundational knowledge that make me have only limited amounts of information to draw upon from my mind, in addition to my overall lack of practice holding small talk for extended periods of time. I feel like I want people to have a particular impression of me and become frustrated every time they view me with a drastically different interpretation than what I want. I would dismiss them for not being able to comprehend me. I get the feeling that there is part of me that would willingly torture myself when I brood, almost like I want some grand narrative where I want an audience who pities me. To suffer so much, that a rescuer would appear in my life, take pity on my situation and save me. During the moments where my thoughts become vindictive and I start harshly blaming other people for my problems, I feel I am such a toxic person who is unworthy of human company. It makes me yearn for a rescuer save me from straying too far from my values/being a bad person. Of course I want to desperately be understood but I stab myself in the foot with making all of their preconceived judgements. It is struggle I deal with to simply not indulge in these thoughts and appreciate what I have, rather than what I don't have.

    Some part of me wants to start off getting know someone with deep conversations, almost to try and understand the essence of the other person. What drives them? What are their fears? Who do they think they are? Once I have worked out a person's essence then I can better understand how things like hobbies, places they go to, experiences they have had, have impacted them as a person. Why all of the specific things they mention in their small talk is so important to them. I may have gotten a bit side tracked, not sure if I stayed on topic but those are just my thoughts.
    wums, BossNum1, The Edwardian Spirit and 2 others thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Type 4w5

    they wouldn't like me
    so yeah it's rough

  9. #8
    Type 4w3

    I'm going to throw my 4w3 voice in here and say no I haven't felt exactly that way. I don't think it's my due to a personal flaw that people don't tend to like me. I think it's because I'm different and it takes someone equally weird - in compatible ways - to unearth the beauty buried beneath the baggage and bullshit.

    I'm lonely.
    burningsoul, Blueberryskies, Voyageur and 2 others thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Type 4w5

    oh yeah. even if I get people to like me I always feel like im bring their life down in some way and then I get all urghhh and then try to leave

  11. #10

    No more like they’re unfit for my company
    The Edwardian Spirit thanked this post.


     
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