I am a social 4w5 and surprisingly enough, usually single. Basically there are so many types of people that I wouldn't know who would satisfy me as a romantic partner, and vise versa. I don't want to pick the wrong person, and I want both sides to be happy and fulfilled. So here is a small brief on my type 1 relationship and my type 5 relationship. Have any of you had any romantic experiences with a type 1 and/or type 5 and give a comparison? What were your experiences with each, and how did it end up? Which type do you think was generally more compatible for you in regards to enneagram personality type? Examples of people in the average to healthy ranges would be most helpful because of the fact that any unhealthy minded person can turn out to be incompatible.
Now, I am interested in someone who is a type 1. He is very idealistic, moralistic, and outgoing. I agree with his mentality on the most part, and he is very sensitive and responsible, which I like. He is thoughtful about how to treat me, and he will go great lengths in our developing relationship to make things fair and right. His need to be right is also the pitfall for me though. There is a certain dishonesty, i feel, about his emotions because he wants to make himself right. So when there is a disagreement or I can sense negative emotions, his justification of himself as never having the negative emotions drives me nuts. I think it is important to be able to express the negative emotions, so they can be resolved, and I fear that i won't get the emotional honesty and depth, and that is so important to me in keeping an emotional connection.
To my dismay, I've been missing a type 5 lover. He needed a certain degree of space, which I liked as well. He could do his own thing and I could do mine, and then talk all about it afterward. I enjoyed this communication, and it seemed like we would never run out of things to talk about. When he was depressed, he told me, but never the reasons why. If something bothered him, he was very clear about why it bothers him. I suppose, he is able to express himself in a way that is more clear to me. There is an emotional detachment though, and sometimes I think he is farther away from his authentic self than he knows. He really likes me, but he didn't realize it soon enough, and now it's too late for now because I became attached to this other person.
Tell me about your experiences :) and thank you ahead of time.