@Flatlander Sorry I was aware of that but didn't know how to link you in@Dursie, if you left my name in one of the quotes when you responded to me it'd be easier for me to see that you responded, it sends me a notification whereas simple quotes don't.Well I consider that part of my personality completely intrinsic/ or at least in no way connected to gratification or anyone else's judgement.. It's just that I want my actions to be a full reflection of my own values.Do you see personality as an intrinsic or an extrinsic part of a person?Generally I'm vain about my competency in everything I think I'm good at... (all areas but particularly intellectual, artistic or sporting stuff).. Probably driven by a fear of my underlying incompetence. I like to be admired for everything but it's not a huge part of my personality-- I mainly only care about impressing my own inner critic. I'd like to be the best in the world at something just to finally not worry about the areas in which I'm not competent-but I still would. I really at the deepest level just want to donate all my guts to saving everything in the world and solving every problem and that comes without any need to be admired for. That's what's most important de moi.What exactly drives your vanity? What are you vain about, in particular?
What do you like to be admired for?Well it used to all the time but it's eased off now. Ahahha It's probably because I am weird socially (i dont know why... Sometimes it's on purpose sometimes not). I'm quiet about my actual personality but invasively intense when joking around and I don't know maybe i'm scary when you don't actually know me, at least people act like that's the case.Why did you bring abuse up if it doesn't really happen to you?
What do you think makes people think you're freaky/weird/creepy?Well there's not going to normally be one clear right or wrong because of the complex nature of stuff, however it's not hard to recognise (in my experience) when people stop acting appropriately or unnecessarily in a situation due to their misunderstanding of what happened. Obviously this is just one tiny situational example and there are countless different approaches needing to be taken depending on the situation. Well it doesn't matter but then again I don't really feel any need to present an alternative if the situation doesn't seem to require it.How do you determine if they're in the right or the wrong?
Why does it matter whether they are in the right or the wrong in order to present an alternative?Very true. But I'm blessed with too much independence to be influence by them anyway, lovely as they are.I get how it may be healthy but it may also not be, depending on what kind of social influence they actually have over you.I've read every source I can access and none of the core issues of the 9 actually ever hit home. Every 5 source I've been able to access has entirely described both my surface knowledge of myself and deeper knowledge. I'm just trying to avoid overly classifying my behavioural patterns into the stereotypes of a 5w4 sx/sp at the moment because I've only just surfaced from a very long stint of drowning in my own enneagram-centered avarice. Beyond that, I entirely don't belong in the body triad- the types I'm most likely to mistype as on a deeper level are 4 or 3. BUT even those two don't explain my behaviour and emotional patterns through life so far as the 5 type. However, it's clear that whatever breadth and depth the enneagram system occupies, there's far too much breadth and depth in human personality and reasons for emotions which the system cannot account for. It's a worthwhile means of accessing the deeper issues and potential pathologies of your core type but the fact (this reeeeeally happened) that I could fulyl believe I was a 9 when I'm actually a 5 shows every type can just be an aspect of our personality. . .Type 5s combine a central avarice with their presence in the mind triad, so a type 5 style mentality tends to lead to a focus on mind in the sense of one's capacity being one's mental content and use, which is what I don't particularly sense in you.
But yes according to the system I am a 5 but in real life I'm just me .