Hi @jnr Thank you for your interesting question. If I understand correctly you want to know if the way of detaching is to go and listen to music or similar. Am I right?
Because, no, I think not that this is the detaching. The detachment is enabled through thinking I suppose. And through something that helps not staying in the body, not staying attuned to (bodily) feelings. Because feelings are perceived as body sensations and then interpreted by the naming and thinking mind.
Music and other things like dancing help me to focus more on my bodily experience and especially when dancing or moving - walking is just fine as well - it helps me to, better, it enables me to feel and not detach again through thinking. So, this would be my answer: I "process" feelings, that is it is possible for me to really welcome them and acknowledge them when I can move.
The difficulties around allowing myself to feel I observe for example in a situation with other people. Sometimes I can feel my body tense, it's tensions in the body, stopping some energies to flow, that "helps" detaching. When I realize something like that I am sometimes able to say something like "I need to go now" or anything else what I think is the best for me.
I have started to really take myself the time to think and talk and react especially in difficult or conflicting situations. Because I am slow when try to stay connected to my feelings. That is I learn more and more to listen to a deeper and better source of information - what am I feeling or how am I feeling - and then I try to translate this experince into what I need and what I want in a situation.
I often feel under pressure from others to be faster in my reactions.
And of course I can be so lost in unconscious motivations that I can be fast and argumentative and even belligerent to a certain extent. I get very opinionated and the person I am talking to looks very naive and stubid in his or her view. This is fear I suppose but I can never feel it. I want to observe that a bit better in the next days maybe.
I'd be interested to hear if I got your question right!