Thank's for sharing, @Simonis
I am glad to hear that you feel a bit better again.
It was difficult for me to read you giving some details of the relationship in the afternoon and I am still a bit unconcentrated now thinking of a reply because I've experienced a very similar story with most certainly a 9w1 guy in my mid twenties. We were very close too. I am not sure whether I have ever fully acknowledged the pain of these experiences. He hurt me very much with some of his behaviours. Still I went out of our relationship and later also out of our friendship much more self-assured because it was simply the right thing to break-up.
Maybe I can share some of that myself later in this "Unpredictable emotions" thread.
But let me first see what you wrote.It feels painful only to read it. I have some anger coming up too now. This reluctance to deal with his doubts responsibly is unacceptable.Thank you. I must say, I didn't notice I hadn't specified the way our breakup went. I left out the details because I didn't want it to be such a long 'sob story' after a breakup. Let's see, it's hard to say who initiated the breakup. I would say it was me, but he's a 9w1 and had had doubts about us for a long time (months). I wanted him to make a decision, but he couldn't. After so many times hearing 'it doesn't feel good, I think we should break up, I'm not sure about us etc', I said we might have to. But honestly, if he still had wanted to, I was already planning on moving in and had already imagined having kids together. However, it was my first relationship, so I suppose that's pretty common. And I am very picky as well, so that doesn't make it easier. Like, thinking I have never 'opened up' as much to anyone before or after him or even feeling that initial spark that we had.
The past week I felt pretty bad, but now I'm feeling better again. I can feel this experience helps me to understand my emotions better or at least, learn to deal with them. I know that I'll be fine and I have a great support system, but I'm not really fond of talking with others about it. It's easier to know what you feel when you have some time to reflect (such as when typing on a forum), rather than having to immediately answer in a direct conversation.
Simonis, sorry, I'll stop writing here. I have so much anger at my ex-boyfriend coming up right now. I hope I can get back to what you wrote at some other time. Thank's for your understanding.
Because: It shouldn't be about my feelings when you asked for some advice. I find it always a very disappointing and discouraging experience when people do that. And it is one of the main reasons why I try to figure out everything on my own. Because my needs get forgotten somehow behind the emotions of others. I hope you can understand what I mean.