[Enneagram Type 5] Enneagram type 5 romantic compatibility comparison with type 4 vs. type 6

Enneagram type 5 romantic compatibility comparison with type 4 vs. type 6

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This is a discussion on Enneagram type 5 romantic compatibility comparison with type 4 vs. type 6 within the Type 5 Forum - The Investigator forums, part of the Head Triad - Types 5,6,7 category; Hello, I know that there are many factors that play into compatibility and romantic compatibility for individuals, but in regards ...

  1. #1
    Type 4w5

    Enneagram type 5 romantic compatibility comparison with type 4 vs. type 6

    Hello,

    I know that there are many factors that play into compatibility and romantic compatibility for individuals, but in regards to the Enneagram personality typing, have you had a relationship with a type 4 and/or type 6 personality, and which type was more compatible for you? What were the positives and negatives in regards to their personality type with yours? Examples of people in the average to healthy ranges would be most helpful, considering the fact that any unhealthy person might end up being incompatible.
    user87 thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Type 4w5

    Couldn't someone at least have said "neither" LOL

  3. #3

    My partner is a 6 and I've never dated a 4. I think it has more to do with how healthy someone is than their type.
    Shay_90, Direct and atkinspea thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Type 4w5

    I agree that highly functioning relationships are influenced by the health of both of the people involved and many other factors.
    From what I've read, and from what I've experienced, is the difference of the things that make us compatible with another person of each type. For instance, in my relationship with someone who was a type 5 on the enneagram, the beauty of it was our communication and delving deep into the dark and mysterious. The communication was a hallmark for that relationship. It made us highly compatible.
    I have heard that, for the most part, 5's and 6's are generally just friends (of course there are exceptions). I wanted to know, from a 5's perspective, what their experiences were with these types (4's and 6's). Basically, i wonder if certain people are more drawn to certain personality types.
    user87 and wk05 thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Type 4w5

    I'm unaware if any ex's were 4's or 6's. I had no knowledge of typology until recent. I'm not sure I understand the 4 or 6 yet. I'd need to observe their behavior oppose to only reading descriptions. With that limited understanding, I don't find either 4 or 6 intriguing beyond friendship. I'm very attracted to 8's the most. In hindsight, I suspect I've dated several 8's or people with that type's infamous qualities.


    I'm more concerned with a partner respecting my boundaries more than connecting “deeply” in conversation—that's what friends are for . This might explain my preference for 8's to other types (except 5's and possibly 7's).
    Shay_90 thanked this post.

  7. #6

    I'm pretty certain I'm with a type 4 right now.
    It's interesting. He really appreciates the unique, individual qualities about my character and we're both drawn toward the same types of material (strange, schizophrenic songs and movies, etc).
    I was getting the impression that he was a little emotionally needy and I started to distance myself and began acting a little weird. It REALLY tore him apart, but he ended up being very good at sitting down and having a realistic, mature conversation about what was going on and kind of setting his emotions aside long enough to hear out what was going on in my head. He's been helpful for me, as far as exploring emotions goes, because I sort of started to run away without really analyzing what was making me uncomfortable (it's easier to just avoid the thing that's making me have those feelings), and he isn't letting that happen.
    We connect very well, and have the same sort of cynical sense of humour and outlook on people and society that other people either don't really understand, or they find it too dark. :P We're also both INFP, so that might have a lot to do with how well we relate to one another.
    wk05, Shay_90 and chanteuse thanked this post.

  8. #7

    My two closest (platonic) friends are 6s: 6w5 and 6w7. Romantically, I've dated a hell of a lot of 3s and 2s - for all of the wrong reasons. I've also been involved with a 1, a 7 and a few 9s.
    Shay_90 thanked this post.

  9. #8

    In terms of friendship, I find that there are obvious clashes, that vary with individual (as to whether they are significant).
    Six-friends have tended to be too reliant on my advice, guidance, and opinions. This, in itself, is not necessarily an extreme drawback; however, Sixes tend to have "situations" which they seek advice for, only to change their mind at moment of implementation or fail to work constructively towards it. This, again, is not exactly the problem. The problem is, they tend to continue to fixate on the situation that bothers/burdens them, expecting you to receive their concern with equal approach, and will want to discuss it with no end. I have found that the basic theme is interpersonal conflict, and even when it is "unrelated" (job-focused), it is wanting to quit, or take some form of action, because of employer-employee conflict or coworker-conflict.
    Six-friends have also seemed to need more of me than I have to give. In addition, they often need reassurance, and can come to unexpected conclusions about things you have done (or more often, have "failed to do") and about things that they have noticed (accepting the friend request of someone), but did not immediately interrogate you on (they were unsure of your silence and motives).
    There also, in my experience, has been an apparent clash in values. This is reflective of both types' dynamic in the Triad, though. The Six will value the very things that a Five disregards, particularly if stacking strengthens the influence for one (or both) types.
    ex. sp/so 6 & sx/sp 5.
    This reflects more of my Four-wing, but I find that Sixes often will adopt your views and opinions, and other parts of yourself. This can be irritating, as it can hit you like plagiarism.
    I have not personally experienced this, but have entertained the idea: The Six, disintegrating to Three, could be quite the nightmare-come-true for a Five. Five has an emphasis on privacy, namely, and hoarding their information, self, and time. Sx-Five creates a personal world to share with their partner; confiding, and because secrets are sacred, and this connection is sacred, this connection takes on a secretive-form (in terms of legitimate secrecy, or exclusivity). To be robbed of their privacy, or have their connection made public (or exploited), would be the nail in the coffin for Five. A Six, at Three, becomes exploitive- to say the least.
    (I should mention, most Sixes that I know, are 6w7)


    Fours. The father of my son, is a Four.
    I also have a Four-friend.
    The Fours that I have known, have been quite fixated. These are your living, breathing stereotypes.
    One of my main issues with type Four, and I will specify fixated-Fours, is their obsession with being "outsiders."
    You read about it, you can somewhat recognize it in yourself (Four-wings/Four points); but, you can never paint the picture quite like the Four can.
    The startling thing is, fixated-Fours often believe that their "outsider" self-image is shared amongst all other with the exact same intensity that they perceive it. They can talk about nameless stingers, who they have never met (and don't specifically exist), feel these feelings towards them, think these things of/about them, see these "parts" of them. They relish in these ideas. They are completely severed from the fact that: they aren't particularly known, they aren't particularly out of the ordinary (especially in this day-and-age), and they are not even slightly as defective/different as they believe themselves to be.
    Hearing them talk about how they are "received", makes you constantly question if they are talking about the same person that you know & are looking at.

    I am drawing attention to the negatives, because the positives tend to be swallowed. The negatives are more "digested."
    pandamonium, Jamie.Ether and Shay_90 thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Type 5w4

    Quote Originally Posted by Shay_90 View Post
    I know that there are many factors that play into compatibility and romantic compatibility for individuals, but in regards to the Enneagram personality typing, have you had a relationship with a type 4 and/or type 6 personality, and which type was more compatible for you?
    I believe one of my exes is a 4 while the others I'm not sure about since they were one night stands where I didn't get a total read on their personalities enough to type them. I'd see 4s as being more compatible with me partially as my wing is a 4 and 4 is in my tritype so I relate to it a bit better than a 6.

    I'd think 6s would have more armor for me to work through than a 4. The flip to that of course is that the push-pull of a 4 can be its own interesting dance though I'd view this as fun to play in that space.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shay_90 View Post
    What were the positives and negatives in regards to their personality type with yours?
    The overlap in some ways would be a positive as I can relate that way fairly easily. There is something to be said for how the familiar can be comforting in a way. The drawback of course is that this mirroring of myself can also bring out my darker aspects to work through and see up close. This is both a benefit and a drawback as if I'm not ready to deal with these issues, it can cause more trouble.
    Shay_90 thanked this post.

  11. #10

    I'm with a cp 6w7. Best relationship I've ever had.


     
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