When I read it again one of the first things I want to ask you is why you don't explicitly write who was the driving part in the separation of the two of you. Did he end the relationship?
My relationship has ended (been together +/- 4 years), feeling pretty bad right now. However, the first few weeks I didn't feel this way at all and told everyone I was doing fine this way. The weird thing is, I genuinely thought I was okay with it. But now, having holiday, I suddenly realize I miss him so much... And suddenly the sadness seems unbearable.
Looking back, this is often what happens to me. About two weeks ago, I even met up with my former boyfriend and was very relieved it went so smoothly; I didn't want him back and told him I would be okay with meeting up again. But a day later, I feel so sad and think about all the good times. Like, how is it possible that I can't even closely predict how I'll feel about something afterwards? Same has happened a couple of times during our relationship, especially when he told me he had doubts about our relationship. The moment itself I'd be very supportive, telling him he should take the time he needs, I'll be there etc. And two days later, I get angry at him for putting me in that situation and feel very sad/scared for him leaving me.
I'm not sure why this keeps happening. I suppose it's typical for a five to not be in touch with their emotions, but even when trying to be, I tend to fail apparently. Does anyone recognize this? Do you know ways to get better in touch with your feelings, to prevent the 'aftermath' of sadness?