[Enneagram Type 6] How 4s differ from NF 6-es and why we mistype - is this true? - Page 2

How 4s differ from NF 6-es and why we mistype - is this true?

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This is a discussion on How 4s differ from NF 6-es and why we mistype - is this true? within the Type 6 Forum - The Loyalist forums, part of the Head Triad - Types 5,6,7 category; Not a four, but I don't agree fours are boring when unhealthy. Boring is the territory of the "every man" ...

  1. #11
    Unknown


    Not a four, but I don't agree fours are boring when unhealthy. Boring is the territory of the "every man" 6 :P (I am a six, so I can say that... for the most part I wouldn't care/don't think sixes would mind being referred to in this way, whereas fours would). I do agree that sixes are very frustrating to deal with when unhealthy, moreso than fours.

    What is the diff between NF 6 and the 4? I don't think that post really gets to the point on answering the question. It is comparative but not necessarily in the most helpful way.

    I think the core differences between an NF 6 and 4 would still be the core differences between 4 and 6. I am very close to a four who is the same mbti type as me (infp) and we are still very different. It has little to do with the ability to affect other peoples emotions, etc. It's more to do with our internal life... how we deal with emotions differently (I haven't seen any difference in expansiveness of emotions, I would say that he is not self absorbed any more than me, nor would I say he lives in a less rich world of emotion). He ruminates, whilst my consciousness is split between future and a void. He has a much closer relationship with films, music, memories (they are -him- and how he understands the world) whilst I explore that to explore my emotions and "feel alive, and myself".

    He is much more adverse with contending with the real world, whereas I am much more comfortable dealing with things as they come. He is gentle, with a caustic side that is often hidden, whereas I feel less gentle, but I have less bite. Being around fours feels soothing, being around me is more... there's just a different quality. Infps' are healers... i'd say he is the true healer, whereas i'm more likely to identify with "hero". There's something about fours that makes you want to look after them.... protect them, even if they mess up. They have a deep well of loving, that is diff. from the way an NF six loves imo. I think fours can represent both the best of both masculine and feminine love... whereas, my heart is quite distinctly masculine, even if on the outside my infp-ness is quite soft. I am a little more robotic than he... more concentrated on responsibilities, what people expect or want from me... more attached than I realise. He is less attached than he thinks.

    He is true idealist, true infp, true seeker, I am more of a bastardised version of the nf in the sense that I am like a hybrid of intuiting, sensing, thinking, feeling, percieving, judging... he has a very true personality that feels untainted by the world. I am the product of having to pick up various abilities in order to contend with the world... I am not pure infp; I just couldn't afford to not fill in my own gaps in thinking and judging. I am the TJ version of infp, (the infp most infps would consider a sell out). I aim to be everything I am not, subsume my opposites; become them, in order to survive. He loves yet hates his opposities, a kind of hate and envy that remind him of his own personal gaps. I don't really feel envious of others... i'm more likely to put them on a pedastal to remind me of where I need to head in my personal life; what I already have inside of me, if I only looked. I believe what a person sees in others is what they have inside of them, whether they are aware or not.
    FreeBeer, NingenExp and aconite thanked this post.

  2. #12
    Type 6w7


    Quote Originally Posted by greenlow View Post
    Not a four, but I don't agree fours are boring when unhealthy. Boring is the territory of the "every man" 6 :P (I am a six, so I can say that... for the most part I wouldn't care/don't think sixes would mind being referred to in this way, whereas fours would). I do agree that sixes are very frustrating to deal with when unhealthy, moreso than fours.
    When I read that my heart skipped a bit....you are so damn wrong. Boring is painful (I can't stand boredom and normal crap) and to be refereed to as a boring and normal person...is an insult. At least it feels like an insult to me. For some reason reading that got me reactive. (maybe its the 7 wing...:S I like to avoid boredom and being deprived every chance I get!)

    I don't quite understand why, but for me personally it carries the same weight as being called wrong, dumb, incompetent and so on. To be ordinary is a depressing and infuriating thing indeed.

    I do agree with being a TJ -ish version of INFP (as far as it refers to Te and not lack of Pe tendencies. I tend to be as chaotic as ENFPs). As for me I'd add being confrontational, highly reactive and addicted to emotional highs, limit situations. I'm a bit more extroverted, thou not socially extroverted, then other INFPs (or so I see it).

    Imo nobody is boring and normal, everyone is fucked up in some way, certain people are just fucked up in a more interesting way then others. Its a question of digging deep enough imo.

    ^^ read mah signature.

  3. #13
    Unknown


    I agree. NF 6s are not commonly NFish. I think similar stuff happens because it's natural for 6s to identify with almost every point of the whole spectrum and to not relate too (all at the same time); and it depends, it always depends, ALWAYS. I think you'll get me, because you know. That feeling of "including everything" in someway. Of course you know you don't have it all at the same time. And I think it's pretty annoying. For example, I'm introverted, but if I let the idea just slip for a second, I get this odd confusion. I think Yes, I'm introverted, but not that much, I'm extroverted sometimes and blah blah blah mental BS...
    FreeBeer and SweetPickles thanked this post.

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  5. #14
    Type 4

    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post
    strangely enough I could relate as a NFP 6 or better said couldn't relate to what the 4 said.
    I don't think that is strange. It's a favorable view of the six, of course someone would rather relate to the 6 description. The dislike of the 4 is pouring out of the entire response. That being said I don't really think I agree with the descriptions mostly because it seems to purposely demoralize the 4 in reference to the 6, basically saying 4's suck and 6's are awesome as they have all the things 4's have and live more.

    Well how are you even going to measure that? Let alone argue against it?

    I don't think living in a world of possibilities is a 6 thing - or at least I don't think it's as fun as it is described here for the 6. I personally think that's more of a 7 thing. A lot of what is described here sounds 7 ish rather then 6 ish. 7's have the fun, while 6's are concerned about what the underside of what comes with the fun is capable of doing.

    Emotional depth can come from any person. I don't see how 6 is inborn with that over 4 same with personal connection. They may have a point about being self-centered but I would more or less call that self-referencing more then self-absorption or true selfishness. 4's are reactive so they will feel something if someone does something to them. Also a 4 is not just their creations. I don't create much at all but I can and do engage with people, I don't consider the relationship deep but that's my own personal qualifier.

    I again think only referencing my feelings and not much else is an extreme interpretation. I feel attached to a lot of things, a lot of the time and a lot of things effect me (again that's reactivity). I think this person just has a very poor view of 4's overall.
    sleeper, FreeBeer, NingenExp and 7 others thanked this post.

  6. #15
    Unknown


    Spread the love for every type in the enneagram :D (You just got me in a mucho love phase of the day)

  7. #16
    Type 6w7


    Quote Originally Posted by Arrow View Post
    I don't think that is strange. It's a favorable view of the six, of course someone would rather relate to the 6 description. The dislike of the 4 is pouring out of the entire response. That being said I don't really think I agree with the descriptions mostly because it seems to purposely demoralize the 4 in reference to the 6, basically saying 4's suck and 6's are awesome as they have all the things 4's have and live more.

    Well how are you even going to measure that? Let alone argue against it?

    I don't think living in a world of possibilities is a 6 thing - or at least I don't think it's as fun as it is described here for the 6. I personally think that's more of a 7 thing. A lot of what is described here sounds 7 ish rather then 6 ish. 7's have the fun, while 6's are concerned about what the underside of what comes with the fun is capable of doing.

    Emotional depth can come from any person. I don't see how 6 is inborn with that over 4 same with personal connection. They may have a point about being self-centered but I would more or less call that self-referencing more then self-absorption or true selfishness. 4's are reactive so they will feel something if someone does something to them. Also a 4 is not just their creations. I don't create much at all but I can and do engage with people, I don't consider the relationship deep but that's my own personal qualifier.

    I again think only referencing my feelings and not much else is an extreme interpretation. I feel attached to a lot of things, a lot of the time and a lot of things effect me (again that's reactivity). I think this person just has a very poor view of 4's overall.
    I agree that he has a poor view of 4s, however he did demonize 6-es and himself as well. In a sense the 6 was testing/poking/prodding to get a reaction. When we poke hard enough we get a honest reaction. I sometimes do this to see where people's values lie and how they truly think about specific things.

    Despite this...I was more interested in seeing if what the 4 responded with had any hold compared to 6-es. Not interested in the guy's bias, just found some things that were said true of me.
    SweetPickles and Aquarian thanked this post.

  8. #17
    Type 6

    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post
    When I read that my heart skipped a bit....you are so damn wrong. Boring is painful (I can't stand boredom and normal crap) and to be refereed to as a boring and normal person...is an insult. At least it feels like an insult to me. For some reason reading that got me reactive. (maybe its the 7 wing...:S I like to avoid boredom and being deprived every chance I get!)

    I don't quite understand why, but for me personally it carries the same weight as being called wrong, dumb, incompetent and so on. To be ordinary is a depressing and infuriating thing indeed.

    I do agree with being a TJ -ish version of INFP (as far as it refers to Te and not lack of Pe tendencies. I tend to be as chaotic as ENFPs). As for me I'd add being confrontational, highly reactive and addicted to emotional highs, limit situations. I'm a bit more extroverted, thou not socially extroverted, then other INFPs (or so I see it).

    Imo nobody is boring and normal, everyone is fucked up in some way, certain people are just fucked up in a more interesting way then others. Its a question of digging deep enough imo.

    ^^ read mah signature.
    I agree and can't understand why some percieve 6's to be that way, that is so not true . Why on earth then do so many 6's mistype as 4's then?! Life without individuality and enjoyment wouldn't be a life at all. Well I consider myself to be far more unique than what 6's get credit for in general. I didn't need a type to tell me that anyway, I know im not boring and dull.

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrow View Post
    The dislike of the 4 is pouring out of the entire response. That being said I don't really think I agree with the descriptions mostly because it seems to purposely demoralize the 4 in reference to the 6, basically saying 4's suck and 6's are awesome as they have all the things 4's have and live more.
    Really?! I often thought the opposite.
    FreeBeer thanked this post.

  9. #18
    Type 4

    Quote Originally Posted by mushr00m View Post
    Really?! I often thought the opposite.
    He basically calls 4's boring and vapid creatures who have no real depth, creativity, intensity or emotional capacity outside of themselves. I don't know what else you would call that but a complete assassination of the four type. While he says the 6 is full of life, engages with people, has richer relationships and blatantly points out that living as a 6 would be much more exciting and fulfilling then living as a 4. Basically the ending thought is that 4's don't really have any true emotions, while 6's have so many voracious emotions that they are seeping out of them from their pores. I don't see how else you could interpret it honestly, even looking at both posts there still is a clear bias if not against the 4, then for the 6.

    I don't want to derail the thread just pointing out a bias when referencing the type. Some of the things the guy says about the 6 could qualify for the 4 (or even a 7) and vice-versa. There is a clear bias here and that could harm any distinctions or views that aim to distance them or find variations within these two types.
    greenlow, sleeper, burningsoul and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #19
    Unknown


    I think you missed the "tongue" emoticon at the end of my sentence.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rim View Post
    When I read that my heart skipped a bit....you are so damn wrong. Boring is painful (I can't stand boredom and normal crap) and to be refereed to as a boring and normal person...is an insult. At least it feels like an insult to me. For some reason reading that got me reactive. (maybe its the 7 wing...:S I like to avoid boredom and being deprived every chance I get!)

    I don't quite understand why, but for me personally it carries the same weight as being called wrong, dumb, incompetent and so on. To be ordinary is a depressing and infuriating thing indeed.

    I do agree with being a TJ -ish version of INFP (as far as it refers to Te and not lack of Pe tendencies. I tend to be as chaotic as ENFPs). As for me I'd add being confrontational, highly reactive and addicted to emotional highs, limit situations. I'm a bit more extroverted, thou not socially extroverted, then other INFPs (or so I see it).

    Imo nobody is boring and normal, everyone is fucked up in some way, certain people are just fucked up in a more interesting way then others. Its a question of digging deep enough imo.

    ^^ read mah signature.
    FreeBeer thanked this post.

  11. #20
    Type 6w7


    Quote Originally Posted by greenlow View Post
    I think you missed the "tongue" emoticon at the end of my sentence.
    :) I didn't miss it, I just didn't give it much of a meaning.


     
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