[Enneagram Type 9] Self-Preservation Nines needing a lot of time alone

Self-Preservation Nines needing a lot of time alone

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This is a discussion on Self-Preservation Nines needing a lot of time alone within the Type 9 Forum - The Peacemaker forums, part of the Body Triad - Types 8,9,1 category; I thought I could have been a Social Nine because I can be friendly, personable and engaging. I am a ...

  1. #1
    Type 9w1

    Self-Preservation Nines needing a lot of time alone

    I thought I could have been a Social Nine because I can be friendly, personable and engaging. I am a 9w1.
    (I am confirming that 9w1 is really my type as stated in my profile.)

    I have been told that I am a "Nester". I have always enjoyed a lot of alone time. I have been that way for most of my life. I like the peacefulness of being alone and the freedom to allow my creative imagination to flow through me to where I will sing, dance, write, draw, watch videos, nap, read and do whatever I feel like doing in the peacefulness of my own space. I get more energy when I am alone and enjoying the freedom to express my creativity in peace.


    They don't describe SPs to be friendly, personable and engaging people, which is how they describe Social Nines. I personally think Social types care too much about what people think. I think we just need to be true to our own authenticity and individuality. We can keep the peace by being who we are as Nines without sacrificing our own sense of peace and happiness. Is Self Preservationist the only type that likes to be alone a lot? Or needs to be alone a lot?
    Errant, Marvin the Dendroid and elehaym thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Type 9w1

    I'm a sp/sx 9w1. I need a lot of time alone, and when I'm alone I usually avoid engaging with social media or my phone. I essentially try to be alone with my thoughts. However, I'm actually very engaging and interactive when I'm with people. I've been trying to be fully present wherever I am. So I try to avoid naturally retreating into myself around people.

  3. #3

    I'd say 10-20 hrs / week with someone, 148-158 hrs alone is noice. Not every week though, sometimes 168 hrs alone is what I need and occasionally I'll need more than 10-20 hrs with company. Pretty much always just one person at a time.

    Quote Originally Posted by KJ Always View Post
    I think we just need to be true to our own authenticity and individuality.
    That's Fi. I don't know what I need to be true to, but I do know that I don't pay much attention to other people and their opinions. Not because I don't care, I'm just generally oblivious to the existence and opinions of other people. When I do remember that they exist, I do pay attention to their wishes. Mostly I just follow what Ni says, when it says something. When it doesn't, I flollop and vollue.

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  5. #4

    I think this can be applied to a good amount of introverts Sp, also type 4 and 5.
    Marvin the Dendroid and KJ Always thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Type 9w1

    Quote Originally Posted by Errant View Post
    I'm a sp/sx 9w1. I need a lot of time alone, and when I'm alone I usually avoid engaging with social media or my phone. I essentially try to be alone with my thoughts. However, I'm actually very engaging and interactive when I'm with people. I've been trying to be fully present wherever I am. So I try to avoid naturally retreating into myself around people.
    OMG! I got a little confused whether or not this was my post when I read your words because you sound so much like me! That is weird for me! I don't blame you for not engaging in Social Media. When I used to be active on Facebook, it was VERY time consuming and exhausting!! I have more of a life since I got off there!

    I don't have much opportunities to talk on the phone since I refuse to make new friends to replace those who are no longer in my life. I have a hand full of people who talks with me sometimes, but we would mostly arrange to hang out in person and that is more enjoyable to me. We may talk more if we engage in intellectual topics that is stimulating. Most of my friends and associates, I don't talk with on the phone. I am weird like that. The few people that I talk to are helping me not to isolate too much.

    Can you be very engaging and present when people are very boring with excessive small talk? Just curious!!
    Errant thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Type 9w1

    Quote Originally Posted by Marv View Post
    I'd say 10-20 hrs / week with someone, 148-158 hrs alone is noice. Not every week though, sometimes 168 hrs alone is what I need and occasionally I'll need more than 10-20 hrs with company. Pretty much always just one person at a time.
    Oh oh! I knew I was too isolated! I don't think I spend that much time with people in a month anymore, which may be normal for me during cold months...this year was less than normal. My mother told me (while she was still alive) not to isolate too much. I am trying to find ways to be with people without them invading my personal space in my home life. Chaos screening. Hahaha!

    I thought about joining a few political groups where I can see some of my friends (acquaintances), but I think I may be too open minded to fit in any of them, except the Separation of Church and State one...maybe. Most of my contacts at home are, one on one, and very peaceful with laughter and stimulating conversations. Those are high quality friendships where our time together is more about quality than quantity.



    That's Fi. I don't know what I need to be true to, but I do know that I don't pay much attention to other people and their opinions. Not because I don't care, I'm just generally oblivious to the existence and opinions of other people. When I do remember that they exist, I do pay attention to their wishes. Mostly I just follow what Ni says, when it says something. When it doesn't, I flollop and vollue.
    I enjoy people's opinions if it is an intellectual conversation that is going to offer me mental stimulation. If it is just petty meaningless stuff, not interested and am usually clueless to those Social nonsense. It takes intensity for me to pay attention, sometimes. Arousing my curiosity helps too. Hahaha! That is awesome that you pay attention to their wishes!
    Marvin the Dendroid thanked this post.

  8. #7
    Type 9w1

    Quote Originally Posted by ColdNobility View Post
    I think this can be applied to a good amount of introverts Sp, also type 4 and 5.
    Are 4 and 5s are this way without having Self-Preservation as their primary variant? Hmm...I have Four friends, and they are not nearly as alone as much as I am. Neither of them are Self-Preservation. One is a Social/Sexual Four and the other one is a probably a Sexual/ Social Four. Both are artistic and have very hidden darker sides from the public view, but I see it all! I relate to them through the Sexual variant (fascinating people) because that Social stuff is not something I care much about but I listen to them and give them support, of course.

    I used to have a type 5 friend (I moved away), who was Self-Pres. He see Social as an opportunity to eat free food other wise, he see no use for it! Hahaha!! He does spend a lot of time alone right in front of a lot of people with his face glued to the computer screen oblivious to the external world. He welcomed interruptions from me. I am trying to consider 4 and 5 who are not SPs who loves solitude as much as an SP.


     

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