The Sexual Instinct and American culture

The Sexual Instinct and American culture

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 22
Thank Tree34Thanks

This is a discussion on The Sexual Instinct and American culture within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; if most people looked into Enneagram, the sexual instinct would probably be the one most people would want to be, ...

  1. #1

    The Sexual Instinct and American culture

    if most people looked into Enneagram, the sexual instinct would probably be the one most people would want to be, but honestly? I feel like it is kind of made fun of, stigmatized, viewed as "awkward" or even shunned in American culture.
    - if two people show each other any kind of affection or experience real intimacy, people automatically assume they're dating and everyone makes a fuss about it and immediately starts gossiping
    - if two members of the same sex have a strong bond, people seem to assume they're homosexual or bi
    - displays of sexual energy or even talking about sexual topics in most social settings is considered "awkward"
    - women who like to be sexy and graceful are viewed as "fast" or even "whores"
    - men who are more sensual are viewed either as a) effeminate and probably gay or b) a misogynistic, chest thumping bastard (depending on the style of sexuality displayed. they might assume the former for an INFP 9w1 and the latter for an ESTP 7w8)
    - people freak out at the very thought of nudity. I'm not saying everyone should want to see everyone naked, but why is it even a big deal if you accidently see someone's butt?
    - people tend to think passionate, intense relationships are "moving too fast". my thoughts are, if a relationship is heating up quickly, that's a good thing. it means you will have a meaningful relationship and a hot sex life sooner.
    - sexual roles are so...ritualized. it seems like most sexual things in today's culture is extremely premeditated, artificial and lack spontaneity.

    thoughts?



    Arrow, Krelian91, kaleidoscope and 3 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Not sold on the heating up quickly part but otherwise this post is pretty spot on. Passionate and intense relationships can be a good thing, but not always. It really depends a lot on who's with who, what they bring to the relationship, and how they respond to their lover's wants or needs.

  3. #3

    Looking at sexual relationships as you do, is not the sexual instinct. I just want to know how you feel about sex. That is much more intimate.
    AstralSoldier and possiBri thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Yeah I don't think it's fun to be a sexual instinct person at all. You are always looking outside of yourself to find purpose or meaning and you can never stay content with what just is. You are constantly searching for depth and true immersion while most are content with simply the surface of the relationship. You end up simply having aquaintences when all that you desire are true blood friends you would do anything for and who would do anything for you. The constant yearning and unsatisfaction in relationships is a true killer. You are always the one pushing for more and you don't want to be clingy but the truth is the other doesn't desire what you do at the same level. It's so hard to find the truth in the superficial and you can't say anything about it because it's as if you are talking about unicorns or something that doesn't exist to those around you. It's often dramatized maybe even idealized but I often think that it's not truly valued in a lot of ways. The no living in mediums and only living in extremes thing is quite polarizing to many and it seems a lot of times no one truly understands or get that it's not just a craving or a phase. For you it's breathing,it's truth, it's life. The disappointment never dulls and the elation never stops burning. It's standing on the edge waiting, yearning for life to begin.

  5. #5

    You probably won't believe it, but I agree with you on a lot of those things.

    It's weird how American culture advertises and glorifies sex (sex sells lol) but then condemns it at the same time, making it 'taboo' and thusly a topic of fascination rather than an otherwise normal act. o_O

    It also can get very awkward having that variant tho...especially when one is a demisexual like me which sometimes results in friendship and love being blurred. I stay loyal to my partner, but there are people who wonder regardless which just drives me bonkers.
    cosmia thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrow View Post
    Yeah I don't think it's fun to be a sexual instinct person at all.
    I don't think so either. It's like you are admitting to an addiction, yet find solace that there are others like you. But even yet, you must strive to not be totally like you.

    We are creepers of this earth. We exist to find connection. I feel like my lover has finally put the needle under my arm in order to give me connection and and intensity. *slow boom*

    Finding others of this variant means it's okay
    kaleidoscope and garmypoo thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrow View Post
    Yeah I don't think it's fun to be a sexual instinct person at all. You are always looking outside of yourself to find purpose or meaning and you can never stay content with what just is. You are constantly searching for depth and true immersion while most are content with simply the surface of the relationship. You end up simply having aquaintences when all that you desire are true blood friends you would do anything for and who would do anything for you. The constant yearning and unsatisfaction in relationships is a true killer. You are always the one pushing for more and you don't want to be clingy but the truth is the other doesn't desire what you do at the same level. It's so hard to find the truth in the superficial and you can't say anything about it because it's as if you are talking about unicorns or something that doesn't exist to those around you. It's often dramatized maybe even idealized but I often think that it's not truly valued in a lot of ways. The no living in mediums and only living in extremes thing is quite polarizing to many and it seems a lot of times no one truly understands or get that it's not just a craving or a phase. For you it's breathing,it's truth, it's life. The disappointment never dulls and the elation never stops burning. It's standing on the edge waiting, yearning for life to begin.
    I relate so much with this post it's like you stared into my soul. It's scary. °_°
    Arrow thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrow View Post
    Yeah I don't think it's fun to be a sexual instinct person at all. You are always looking outside of yourself to find purpose or meaning and you can never stay content with what just is. You are constantly searching for depth and true immersion while most are content with simply the surface of the relationship. You end up simply having aquaintences when all that you desire are true blood friends you would do anything for and who would do anything for you. The constant yearning and unsatisfaction in relationships is a true killer. You are always the one pushing for more and you don't want to be clingy but the truth is the other doesn't desire what you do at the same level. It's so hard to find the truth in the superficial and you can't say anything about it because it's as if you are talking about unicorns or something that doesn't exist to those around you. It's often dramatized maybe even idealized but I often think that it's not truly valued in a lot of ways. The no living in mediums and only living in extremes thing is quite polarizing to many and it seems a lot of times no one truly understands or get that it's not just a craving or a phase. For you it's breathing,it's truth, it's life. The disappointment never dulls and the elation never stops burning. It's standing on the edge waiting, yearning for life to begin.
    I'm not sure how to respond here, but I'll give it my best shot, first of all I come from a vegetarian meat minimalist background, so if people think the horrors, relax breathe?

    I think this post reeks of arrogance, it's a lot like saying vegetarianism is environmentalism. To be an environmentalist is to be a moral person, therefore only vegetarians are moral people. And then one puts on 'we mean vegans.' The fact that the rest of the world can't be moral people escapes them entirely. How does one define superficial? I could easy say a type 4 needs to have alcohol to release their superego and relax and have their inhibitions run wild. There's a feeling of uptight and wound, that follows the 4, 'don't do that' 'don't do this?' Introverted people can be such bores. Can there be other people from other types that have values , who don't personalize right and wrong? I would hope so I'd like to think of myself as more substance. I just carry it differently that the type 4.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Brian1 View Post
    I think this post reeks of arrogance, it's a lot like saying 4.
    I dont know what you are trying to tell me. I never said that another enneagram type couldn't feel what I was feeling. I am also almost certain I said nothing about type 4 in my post. I was simply referencing my experience as a sexual first subtype and how it feels first and foremost for myself. I don't understand what you are upset about. There was no expression of superiority or referencing of right and wrong in my post. Where did I say other types don't have values?
    Ace Face and garmypoo thanked this post.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by Arrow View Post
    Yeah I don't think it's fun to be a sexual instinct person at all. You are always looking outside of yourself to find purpose or meaning and you can never stay content with what just is. You are constantly searching for depth and true immersion while most are content with simply the surface of the relationship. You end up simply having aquaintences when all that you desire are true blood friends you would do anything for and who would do anything for you. The constant yearning and unsatisfaction in relationships is a true killer. You are always the one pushing for more and you don't want to be clingy but the truth is the other doesn't desire what you do at the same level. It's so hard to find the truth in the superficial and you can't say anything about it because it's as if you are talking about unicorns or something that doesn't exist to those around you. It's often dramatized maybe even idealized but I often think that it's not truly valued in a lot of ways. The no living in mediums and only living in extremes thing is quite polarizing to many and it seems a lot of times no one truly understands or get that it's not just a craving or a phase. For you it's breathing,it's truth, it's life. The disappointment never dulls and the elation never stops burning. It's standing on the edge waiting, yearning for life to begin.
    I can relate to some of this, being an sp/sx, but not all of it. I think that last sentence is really spot on — I feel like that pretty often, especially when my sp comforts are all met and things are going well... and yet I lack that connection, and it drives me fucking crazy.


    Quote Originally Posted by Brian1 View Post
    I'm not sure how to respond here, but I'll give it my best shot, first of all I come from a vegetarian meat minimalist background, so if people think the horrors, relax breathe?

    I think this post reeks of arrogance, it's a lot like saying vegetarianism is environmentalism. To be an environmentalist is to be a moral person, therefore only vegetarians are moral people. And then one puts on 'we mean vegans.' The fact that the rest of the world can't be moral people escapes them entirely. How does one define superficial? I could easy say a type 4 needs to have alcohol to release their superego and relax and have their inhibitions run wild. There's a feeling of uptight and wound, that follows the 4, 'don't do that' 'don't do this?' Introverted people can be such bores. Can there be other people from other types that have values , who don't personalize right and wrong? I would hope so I'd like to think of myself as more substance. I just carry it differently that the type 4.
    You realize we're talking about instinctual subtypes right? That means that it transcends the types, because the subtypes exist in each type, for each wing. Your comment is moot. =\
    Arrow thanked this post.


     
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Does It Feel Like Obsession? - Dominant Sexual Instinct Subtype
    By n2freedom in forum Enneagram Personality Theory Forum
    Replies: 102
    Last Post: 10-14-2019, 10:05 AM
  2. [Enneagram Type 4] Fours with inferior sexual instinct and fantasizing about relationships
    By AngelOnHerFlight in forum Type 4 Forum - The Individualist
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-29-2012, 11:20 AM
  3. [ENTP] ENTP sexual urge, male instinct, girls, emotion...confusiuon. Did Jung leave sex out
    By King_Moonracer in forum ENTP Forum- The Visionaries
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-24-2012, 09:17 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:53 AM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0