So I've read the descriptions by Naranjo and a few other online bastards regarding instincts as related to each type, but nothing leaps to the forefront. I'd like some help in at least getting a general direction about what instinct I might be. So any insight provided on your part would be greatly appreciated.
I've provided some Q&A below to help:
1. What would you say to a 5-year-old child if he or she asked you what the purpose of life is?
God has a different purpose for everyone. We’re not all G.I. Joe action figures.
2. What type of advice would you give that same child on how to survive in this world?
- Always carry an extra pair of underwear and socks.
- If you’re homeless, don’t live back east.
- If you’re a chick, buy the correct size bra. None of this double bubble crap.
- Learn about the stock market.
- Going to jail is like visiting the relatives: if you’re going to go, go for a good reason.
- Be content in the small things.
- Don’t pass up a chance to smile.
- Life isn’t fair. Don’t let that decide what you can and cannot do.
- It’s not about you.
- Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a destiny.
3. If you were told you only had one year to live from today, and it was 100% guaranteed that you would die exactly 1 year from now, what would you do in that year? Note: Your health will be fine all the way up to the end.
First off, nobody tells me how my future plays out. Not me, not a doctor, not anyone. No one has that right or privilege except God. If a doctor delivered that news to me, I’d tell him to yank his head out of his ass.
But ignoring that initial reaction, this is probably what I’d do:
1. Tell no one I have only one year left to live. It’s none of their damned business.
2. Start more fights. I am very, very tired of coming home with unused energy burning in me. I want to hit the floor each night exhausted and aching from the day. I want to burn out on the world. Fight it with every limb flailing and come home drained and fulfilled. If I’m gonna die, I want to die with every last drop of energy consumed. I want to be an empty husk when I’m gone. Nothing left. Nothing wasted.
3. Get involved in programs that allow me to do risky things with humanistic results.
4. Spend time with my sister.
5. See an Ennio Morricone concert in Italia.
4. Why aren't you doing this now?
I’m currently trying to figure out how to do No. 2 in the above. I already do a fair amount of No. 4. Saving for No. 5, and considering No. 3 depending on how the next month plays out.
5. What are your defense mechanisms? i.e. When you start to feel uncomfortable or anxious about a situation, what do you generally start to do?
Either confront or withdraw.
With external issues (situations, projects, people), I will confront. How soon depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s better to stand back and see if the problem resolves itself first. Other times there is a need for immediate intervention.
Resolution comes in examining the big picture, organizing priorities, and developing a plan of attack.
With internal issues (how I feel), I ignore it. I regularly tell my heart to fuck off and die.
6. What does your heart feel like it needs and wants? What does your head say it needs and wants? What does your body say it needs and wants?
My heart says I need to cut more people out. My head tells me I don’t have enough people in my life to cut. My body tells me I need to tax it more.
7. What condition is your heart in right now? What condition is your mind in right now? What condition is your body in right now?
Heart: I don’t know. Neutral?
Mind: Clear. I’ve got things to do and the plans to do them.
Body: In pain. I went hiking through brush canyons in shorts the other day and accumulated several blood wounds for my efforts. I probably won’t be able to shave for a month. That being said, I couldn’t be happier. All the pain gives me that wonderful drained feeling I described earlier (in the death scenario).
8. What are your predominant faults?
Pride and anger.
9. Think of a time when you felt at ease and connected to yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
Myself: Like a king lion laying on the African savanna. I’m still king, but I can pause and enjoy the moment. There’s a quiet undercurrent of assuredness and control.
Others: Pleasing. I am content with them as they are.
The World: At arm’s length. It’s been staved off long enough that I can soak myself in the moment without worry.
10. Think of a time when you felt anxious and disconnected from yourself and others. What did you think about yourself, others, and the entire world during this time?
Myself: Angry that I'd fallen back into my habit of stretching myself thin over too many things.
Others: Angry at others who tried to intervene and offer their homespun wisdom. My problems are my own.
The World: Pissed. When things go wrong, it feels like the World is robbing my house while I watch on a computer screen a thousand miles away. It’s a violation of me, of who I am. It’s a challenge to my will and my strength. It’s a dare to fight back. The World is telling me “who controls who?” and I want to say “fuck you. watch me make you my bitch.”
11. What is an addiction or urge that seems to drive you almost as if you’re not in control? Almost like an alien force that drives or pushes you down.
Desire. If I desire something, I will get it, even if it goes against me, my beliefs, my good sense, or even just common sense. The worst part is that I can justify it in my mind afterwards. Do it often enough and it’s easy to numb out the voice of reason.
12. What do you need in your life to face your fears?
Big picture awareness. God does nothing without reason.
And just to kick start:
@Swordsman of Mana @Ace Face @Boss @Steel Magnolia @kaleidoscope @Arrow @AbioticPrime @Flatlander @Elinor Dashwood @Ice Ghost @Nobleheart @Tortured @WickedQueen
Thanks in advance!