I filled out the "Possible alternative questionnaire" and skipped questions 1 (too lazy to write), 8 (don't really pay attention to being "misunderstood"), 11 (can't think of a time where someone got close enough to attempt to manipulate me), 13 (feel uncomfortable talking about vulnerable emotions), and 20 (didn't think it would help you guys find a type for me). Here we go.
2. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):
Oh boy. I'm probably leaving out a lot but here are a few of the biggest things this week that I remember.
~ Stupid drivers. Cutting me off, going too slowly, etc.
~ People coughing/sneezing on me.
~ People I don't know whining/venting too much online.
~ Mandatory meetings/events for school in which I have to be around others.
a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me?
The first two are inconsiderate, and the last two are pretty irrational annoyances, I just hate having to deal with people I don't know more than I have to unless they're doing something that benefits me.
Well, the stupid driving got on my nerves because it makes me have to alter something about the way I drive. The second thing bothered me because I don't want to get sick and it really shouldn't be that hard for those people to make an effort and cover their mouths. I'm not really sure why the third thing annoyed me. Finally, the mandatory meetings were a waste of time and energy.
I got into a grumpy mood, directed dirty looks at most of the people and tried to flip off some of the bad drivers. I called out a couple of the people online.
d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
I wish I could have ended their existences, to be honest.
e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?
Murder is illegal.
3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?
My apathy and pessimism are the biggest things that hold me back in life. I have a lot of negative things about my personality, but I rarely (if ever) strive to change them because I feel like it doesn't matter enough, or I feel like doing so is impossible.
4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?
I would feel angry and embarrassed and probably want to end the life of the person who revealed the secret as well as myself. I have no idea how I would outwardly react, but I don't think that I would confront the person who revealed my secret. I would have an extremely difficult time getting over that incident and try to make up for it by doing a bunch of successful things, but end up failing at that.
5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
I'm not sure what the water from the Fountain of Life would give me. Immortality? If so, I sure as hell don't want that.
I definitely don't want the marriage one, either.
Therefore, I'm left with the crown. I would love to rule the world, although I'm not sure that my reign would be peaceful.
6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
I don't like the first house because of the responsibilities that come with it. I really do not want to be in charge of parties and events, and I don't really care for a circle of friends.
The second and third houses are both interesting to me. However, I feel like the third has more advantages, as it is in a convenient location whereas the dream house is secluded, yet it is secure. I love that thieves are unable to break in, because that is a fear of mine. Interior design means nothing to me so I don't care that it is a McMansion.
7. You are offered one of three doors. The first opens to a world that is dangerous and demands mental or physical skill to navigate through, but also has great rewards to be gained: think of the worlds portrayed on the shows Game of Thrones or Supernatural. The second opens to a world that is full of wonders, magic, and knowledge, which can be learned or experienced, but there is little solid resting ground - think of the worlds portrayed in the shows Doctor Who or in the multi-media phenomenon A Hitchkiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The third opens to a world where you may experience a life of peaceful, uneventful poverty - think of the hobbits in the series Lord of the Rings or most of the animals living in Narnia. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
I would not go through the first door because I do not have confidence that I beat the dangerous obstacles to gain the rewards. Also, the third door does not interest me because I would not like to live in poverty. A peaceful, uneventful life sounds boring.
Therefore, I would go through the second door. I love time to rest, but being catapulted into such an exciting world in which I can learn and experience magic and wonders would be much better. I would love to gain the knowledge that I can gain from there.
9. What do you hope people won't notice about you? What are you uncomfortable being teased about?
I don't want people to notice how socially inept and physically weak I am, even though I am aware of both problems. I also become insecure if I say something incorrect and people notice. I am uncomfortable being those three things.
10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you think you come across one way or the other? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?
I personally think that it is much worse to be seen as caring more than I do. I feel that people would take advantage of me that way and that is not something I want. I also don't like the image of being seen as a caring person.
I hope and pretend I come across as someone who cares less than I do. I feel like it is somewhat of a nice surprise whenever someone tells me they care more about me than I think I did, so maybe they would feel the same way.
12. When you first meet someone, what are your first thoughts? What judgments do you make and what kinds of considerations do you have? Are you more concerned with what they think of you or what you think of them? If you are preparing to meet someone new, what do you hope about them and what do you fear about them?
I usually go straight to negative thoughts whenever I first meet someone. I become annoyed if they talk too little or too much, have weird habits, smell bad, that sort of stuff. I don't really care what people I first meet think of me, I'm only interested in other's opinions of me if I have to deal with them on a regular basis. When preparing to meet someone new, I hope that they are polite and not clingy.
14. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different? What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?
Honestly, I felt really satisfied last night when I was reading about enneagram and starting to understand it. All I knew about enneagram in the past was from vague, stereotyped descriptions or whatever people posted in the "type me" threads I made, but I feel that I am starting to get an understanding of how the types connect and what the fears/desires mean and why they are so important.
I tend to think about negative emotions a lot, which keeps me from feeling this way all the time.
15. If you were a tragic hero, what would be your fatal flaw? If you were a character in a comedy, what would be your distinguishing trait (i.e. stingy with money, fastidious, shallow, pretentious, etc.) Do you think others would agree with these?
I think that if I were a character in a sitcom I would be seen as distant, and not taking a lot of things seriously when I should be. I think others do perceive me this way.
16. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways that you have done badly - by yourself, by others, etc. - any time that you have done something, and wish you would have done better. How would you characterize these instances? What caused you to fail and what was your reaction? Are you more likely to be hard on yourself or to find excuses for yourself?
I haven't done many "bad" things this week. I think the worst thing was taking a test for a subject that I am not good at. Academics usually come easily to me but I've been struggling with my Accounting class. I took a test last Monday and had a really hard time getting through it. I'm not sure what my results are yet but I think I got a poor grade.
I failed because I did not put enough effort into making sure that I got a good grade. I got discouraged because I am bad at the subject and didn't want to put any extra effort into it. I am more likely to be hard on myself because I am well-aware of why I fail things so I don't believe the excuses I make.
17. a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.
An evil version of me would probably let anger take over my actions and start harming everyone who gets in my way.
b. Describe your ideal self.
I would really like to be basically emotionless and completely independent. I don't want to be affected by other people at all. I would also like to be extremely book-smart and street-smart at the same time.
18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
I don't remember ever having been lonely in my life. I always have more than enough people to talk to if I feel like it. I am close to my family and they're always willing to listen to me, and I have access to friends on the Internet.
I try to close off any doubt I have by talking to my mom or Internet friends about my anxieties and find a solution to my problem, or reading about my specific dilemma. I become doubtful a lot so I've gotten used to it.
I become very restless when bored and try to look for something to do. My go-to activities are listening to music and driving around. I also have a tendency to think about a fun event that I know will be happening in the future (like a vacation) and imagine what it will be like, or reminisce about something enjoyable that happened in my past.
I find laziness super hard to deal with. Sometimes I let it take the best of me because I'd rather not be doing the certain activities I am required to do. However, I am scared of failure at the same time, so that's what drives me to accomplish my responsibilities.
I think that my temper is extremely hard to deal with and I often let it out on the people who are close to me, and once in a while it slips out to people I don't know that well. I haven't exploded in public often but it's happened a couple of times and I worry that I might lose it and do something crazy one day.
19. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.
Pride - I do get prideful once in a while and become arrogant and overly proud of myself whenever I do well in something.
Wrath - I consider this to be one of my biggest sins. I feel angry at a lot of people and let it take over my mood. I've talked about it quite a bit in this questionnaire.
Sloth - This is another one of my biggest sins. I've talked about apathy/laziness in the previous questions.
Envy - I do experience this quite a bit but it's usually more about me becoming jealous of certain personality traits that others have and I desire rather than material things.
Lust - I don't really relate to it.
Gluttony - This has been something I've had a hard time dealing with lately. I love food and find it hard to stop eating, and eat a lot whenever I'm bored rather than doing something more productive.
Greed - It's not a big problem for me, especially compared to some of the ones above.