Feeling puddles over enneagram: Help determining my type!

Feeling puddles over enneagram: Help determining my type!

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This is a discussion on Feeling puddles over enneagram: Help determining my type! within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Hi! I've been trying to figure out my Enneagram type for a a while, read Helen Palmer's book, read plenty ...

  1. #1

    Feeling puddles over enneagram: Help determining my type!


    I've been trying to figure out my Enneagram type for a a while, read Helen Palmer's book, read plenty of things on the Internet, took a few tests, but still have no idea, and am also still quite unclear on how the system works, so I thought I'd give a questionnaire here a try. Honestly, I don't know why I've had such a hard time typing myself in this system- I think I am a pretty self aware and healthy person, but every time I come close to feeling identified to a type, I feel like a lot of ego-judgement is getting in my way. So anyway, thank you so much to those who are familiar with this system and hang out to share their insight. It is truly appreciated!

    Main Questions

    1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

    I am driven by a desire for self-actualization and look for meaningful relationships and opportunities to grow as a person and do good in the world. Self-actualization means doing things that feed my soul, give my life meaning, and allow me to relate to the world as my most honest, true, and deep self. I feel like developing my skills, interests, hobbies and communication for the benefit of self-actualization bring wonderful relationships and meaning to my life.

    2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
    I hope to connect deeply to the communities I am a part of and to make a difference in the world around me. I hope to find meaning and spiritual fulfillment from the world. I hope one day to be an amazing mother.

    3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
    I hope to avoid walking lightly on this earth or living in a shallow way. I want to avoid being unthinking, uncaring, and unimportant, in that order. I want to experience all of life that there is to experience. I value my politics, social justice, my community, the rights and well being of those around me, basic respect and human dignity, and I value the natural environment.

    4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
    I have a really hard time identifying fears. On occasion I fear being alone, but then prefer time to myself overall. I suppose I fear being misunderstood, and I fear hurting others unintentionally. I have a tiny bit of social anxiety in large group situations. I fear not recovering from damage or being permanently damaged by others

    5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
    I want others to see me as interesting, clever and intelligent, funny, compassionate, and very authentic. I've also realized that it is important to me that people find me attractive. I see myself as a deep, honest, and caring human being, with a great capacity for joy and a fair amount of melancholy.

    6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
    Honestly, I feel my best when I am fully and completely in touch and in sync with my body. I have some minor GI problems, and undiagnosed pain/illness that is quite honestly very unsettling and makes it hard for me to focus on the metaphysical aspects of this question. This doesn't affect me often, but even when I haven't had an attack recently, sometimes I'm just so thankful when I'm not sick or feeling bad to not be feeling bad.

    7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
    a) anger- I avoid conflict at almost any cost, and rarely get angry, though I can get annoyed at people. Seeing other people hurt someone or make someone feel bad is the only sure way to get me angry, and my focus will still be on protecting the hurt party rather than revenge.
    b) shame- I have very strong and stuck memories of social/intellectual/personal mistakes I've made in the past. I know logically that most of them are small and no one else involved remembers or thinks of them, but little things like that haunt me. I hate screwing up, saying the wrong thing, the wrong answer, looking stupid, or being accidentally inconsiderate.
    c)anxiety- Sometimes social situations with lots of new people make me a bit anxious. I tend to think a lot about things, but I don't consider it worrying or anxiety.

    8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
    a)stress- Life doesn't tend to stress I'm good at dealing with work, was good at dealing with school stress, etc. Feeling like I'm not fulfilling my purpose, I'm not on track, I'm not doing right by myself or by the world can stress me out.
    b)unexpected change- I am quite flexible and go with the flow about spontaneous changes to plans/what I'm doing at the moment. Big changes, I tend to face them head on and deal with it.
    c) conflict-I avoid conflict as much as I can. See my answer to anger above. I do confront behavior I find inappropriate, disrespectful, or oppressive (street harassment, racist/sexist/homophobic language, etc), but only when I feel safe and supported, or can get away quickly.

    9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
    a) authority- if I believe it is just or right I will respect it. If not, I won't- I will disregard it and do what I want/think, or if I think it is hurting other people, I will actively fight against it.
    b) power- I do not like it when people try to exert unjust power over other people or over me. I am a strong believer in equality-- just because someone is stronger, can talk louder or has more money doesn't mean they're right.
    I tend to ignore or disengage from power structures or systems that I do not like, though I deeply respect my elders, wisdom, and the knowledge of past generations.

    10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
    I think people are fundamentally good but that there is a lot of evil in the world. I believe in standing up for the underdog, and don't believe that people should make moral decisions on the behalf of other people-- I think all creatures deserve to thrive and live out themselves most fully.

    Optional Questions

    11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.

    12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
    I trust individuals rather easily and tend to see the good in people. Once my trust is broken, it is very hard for me to restore it.

    13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b) dislike most about yourself.
    I like that I am open-minded and into things that are weird/different/unique. I don't like that I come off as judgemental to people who are in the "mainstream." I like that people think I am super nice, but I do not like feeling taken advantage of. I like the way I look and my skills and the world I cultivate around myself- I think it is interesting and fun and playful and gets at deep parts of people. I like that most of my relationships are deep, one on one relationships, but I dislike feeling ill at ease in large groups and not identifying well with my family or other groups. I also dislike that I feel as if much of what I wrote in this section and the whole questionnaire is contradictory...

    14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
    I notice others' emotions, desires, and thoughts without them talking. I tend to notice beautiful and sad things, and to look more closely into them that others seem comfortable with doing themselves.

    15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
    I hate it when people talk to me on the street, regardless if it is an insult or compliment, most of the time it is just street harassment. Sometimes I have great interactions with strangers, and I enjoy those brief human touchings. If a stranger insulted me I would probably be more upset by it than I would let on, depending on how deep the insult cut me.

    16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
    I am so thankful for my loved ones and the communities I have and am in. I wish I could have more of a sense of unity and purpose in my life at the moment. I am just starting out my career, and do not feel very fulfilled by it.

    This questionnaire was designed and written by @Spades , @Paradigm , and @Boss , with the help of @Owfin , @madhatter , @listentothemountains , and others.

  2. #2

    Hmmm. I see a few things here - so this might seem as though I'm spitting out types... I'm sorry about that.

    I see some 9, with your trusting of people and not enjoying conflict, but you seem more engaged with your loved ones and the world and your possibilites than a 9 would be. If you are a 9, I'd hazard a guess at 9w1.

    I also see 4 and 3, but 3 is definitely dominant over the 4.

    ...And I also see 6, but that might be because of the connection to 9. 6s are very much standing up for the underdog sort of people, but you're obviously a brighter and more optimistic sort of 6 so that would lead me to think, if you are a 6, possibly a 6w7? I see some 5ish traits too, though. You are difficult!

    So yes. I'd check out type 6, 9, and 3. I hate to send you in so many directions, but you really had a lot of different things going on in your survey. I hope a second poster is able to help out more and narrow down my scope. :) Depending on IF you relate to any of the types I suggested, I'd say your tritype would be 639.

  3. #3

    Thanks so much for replying! I've been looking into some types I dismissed more lately, using the eclectic energies site, this site, and enneagram world wide, mostly. Let me know if you think there are better resources!

    I've been looking more at 6, based on what you said. It honestly isn't one of the types that ever really struck me. I think I can exhibit traits of a six, much like I can exhibit traits like a 7, but I don't relate to the underlying insecurity or fears of 6 and 7- fear of the world/lack of trust in people or fear of negative emotions. I feel quite independent, able to make the world work for me if I can find my right place in it. I don't think I am "loyal" or even looking for ideas to be loyal to, in the way 6's seem to need. I'm neither that critical nor that faithful- I am much more at ease with mystery. I have a lot of faith in most people and tend to see the good- I think there is bad to overcome, but I don't think it's something to run away from (7) or to make larger than it is (6). Does that make sense, or do I have the wrong impression of 6 and 7?

    9- yes, this is one of the three types that I've related to (along with 2 and 4, actually). I can be very easy going, go with the flow, and put others' needs before mine, but when the chips are down, I'm going to act with full confidence in my person, and my beliefs. Plus, I lean into conflict within my self and my life, and very much take action, even strong potentially conflict causing action. It's interpersonal conflict I avoid, almost like it's beneath me, or like I think I won't win. But that said, 9 is something I can see...

    3- This is really interesting. I have some strong memories associated with consciously trying to seem a certain way to win approval or gain something in my life, and often being good at it. I especially relate to 3w4 descriptions, desire to be unique, etc. I definitely relate to Heart type occupation with identity, and think I must be a heart type... But, 3 doesn't feel quite right because as good as approval feels, it doesn't fulfill me long term, and once I have someone's approval or love, I still feel a strong internal desire to be my most authentic self, and I often feel that even those who appreciate me the most don't understand me. Also, I couldn't care less about success, not in career, money, any typical sense, and even non-traditional notions of success don't interest me- my "success" is so internally defined. Bleh. Is that still a 3 trait, even if the approval I want most is something deep inside me, and others are kind of, in terms of success and achievement, kind of immaterial to me?

    I often test 2, and all I have to say about that is that, yes, my super-ego is totally 2 driven- I believe in community, reciprocity, and generosity of spirit. It's how I want to live my life. But I feel secure in having other's love and affection, (to the point that sometimes it is cloying and I want freedom from it). Additionally, I feel like ideas, beliefs, thoughts in my head lead me to consciously practice generosity, compassion, listening, support as a part of being the person I want to be. It's a practice to me, not a part of me. I don't feel driven psychologically to be a giver- I do so morally and consciously, and I live morally and consciously so that I am the type of person I want to be. Maybe that's 1w2?

    Does 4 2 1 tritype, maybe 4w3, fit with any of this? I think I am quite prone to self-absorbtion (hello personality testing forums!), I am drawn to strong human emotions, joy and sorrow, death, trauma, etc, and sometimes I feel like my hobbies and passions (reading books, crafting/art, building community/activism) is just a way of creating this kind of image of myself that some subconscious part of me thinks will bring me the kind of meaning I want in my life.

    Anyway... thanks again, Snow White, for taking the time. It's really awesome you are so interested in helping people type themselves- I can only imagine the amount of angst/self-importance emoted from people's posts would be exhausting for me! :-)
    Last edited by wileycoyote; 11-29-2012 at 05:04 AM.
    Doll thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    @wileycoyote -

    421 actually isn't a possible tritype, because both 4 and 2 are heart fixes and you have to have heart, head, and gut.

    I did see a little 4 in your survey, but more 3 and 2 - both of which are also heart types. :) If you relate more to 2, have you looked at 2w3 or 2w1? I know you relate more to heart types, so I'd focus on those if that's how you feel.

    As far as tritype, look at the head types... I can see 1 as your gut. 8-9-1 are the gut types, 5-6-7 are the head types, and 2-3-4 are the heart types. So you could be 31x 21x... The best way to figure out your tritype is to read each description separately and decide which one you relate to more. Do not read descriptions of tritypes, because those are extremely general. I don't really relate to the 496 tritype description on here, yet those are the three types I feel the most affinity toward.

  6. #5

    421 actually isn't a possible tritype, because both 4 and 2 are heart fixes and you have to have heart, head, and gut.
    Good to know! I feel like Helen Palmer's book really confused me with the emphasis on what type you go towards under stress or when not stressed. I'll try to pay more attention to head, heart, and gut, and descriptions with wings. Separately. I agree that my gut is probably 1, maybe 9, and if I had to guess my head type it would be 7 or perhaps 6.

    I think reading more about heart types with wings, as well as maybe 1 and 9 with wings, will help me. I'm not sure if it would be helpful to consider varient stacking at this point?

    Thanks again!
    Doll thanked this post.

  7. #6

    I would definitely try to figure out your core before you go into variants! It can complicate things greatly - but, once you do want to read more about it, the best place to go is here: https://personalitycafe.com/enneagram...stackings.html

    However, if you're stuck between two types, reading about the instinctual variants might help. So good luck!!


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