Hello all, thank you in advance for helping me in my self-discovery journey. About a year ago I read "The Road Back to You" and figured I must be a type 9w1. But the more I dig into the enneagram, the more I wonder if that is indeed true. Please let me know what you think based off of my answers.
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I'm constantly seeking out the beauty that life has to offer. The beauty in people (I try to see the best of people), the beauty around me, as exhibited by nature, and the beauty that I can offer to the things I design. I'm a graphic designer and illustrator by trade. I am deeply religious. Though I hate to use the word religious because it sounds too mechanic. I'm deeply spiritual? I have a strong relationship with the Lord and try to make my life revolve around my love of God.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
A great deal many things! I hope to have a successful career, I hope to illustrate a children's book, I'd love to one day raise a family, and I hope to serve the Lord well. I hope to love people well and to guide people to knowing God.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
Authenticity is incredibly important to me. I am constantly checking myself to make sure I am being authentic in what I say and what I do. My values are incredibly important to me. I hope to avoid ever being a manipulative selfish friend. I hope to never be someone who is completely driven by fear. Courage is important to me and probably what I struggle with the most. All the fruits of the spirit are important as well (love, joy, peace, patience, etc.). I care a lot about working hard and doing things well the first time. I'm perfectionistic in my work.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
This is a difficult question. I think my biggest fear is being controlled by fear/lies. I hope to never believe things that are untrue about myself or others. I fear not being enough. I fear failing. I fear judgement. I also fear my words not meaning anything/having no voice
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I hope that others love me fully. I hope that they see someone who is authentic and genuinely loves people.
I see myself as someone who loves the lord but gets stuck in negative emotion from time to time. When I get stuck, it almost feels like I'm a prisoner to my own emotions and I literally do not know how to handle them. In these moments, I am ridiculously hard on myself. But I never approach others this way. I am prone to seeing the worst in myself but the best in others. This doesn't mean I am naive. I think I have strong intuition and can tell when people are being real with me.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
My love language is words of affirmation. So when people encourage me, I take those words and feel healed by them. I feel my worst when people say hateful things to me. Words are powerful.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety
anger: I'm getting better at noticing my anger. Before I would stuff it down and it would come to fruition as anxiety. Now I acknowledge when I'm angry.
shame: I feel shame when I feel like a failure.
anxiety: my greatest struggle in life. I try to take things one day at a time but I am very prone to anxiety/worry
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict
a) stress; When I am truly stressed, I become anxious and tend to forget to care for myself. This manifests itself in poor habits like forgetting to eat, barely sleeping, etc.
b) unexpected change; I do okay I think...I like to think of myself as adaptable
c) conflict; Conflict is difficult for me to deal with. I typically try to confront things head-on if I can because I hate allowing problems to fester. But at the same time, conflict makes me anxious so I sometimes avoid it if it isn't too important.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) authority; I prefer for others to be in charge but I know I am also a leader. I do well under authority if I trust the person who is overseeing me.
b) power; I do not do well with this unless they are an authority figure in my life. I typically seek to find how to come out from under their power.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
I have a positive outlook on life and humanity. I see so much pain but also so much beauty and I feel like the good outshines the bad. But there is still bad and I am not naive to that, which is why I make it my mission to bring beauty wherever I can.
11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
After I graduated from college, I packed up all as much as I could into my tiny toyota corolla and moved from Texas to Atlanta, GA, where I had no family/friends, to start my career as a graphic designer. The move has been absolutely life-changing. I've discovered so much about who I am - I don't know how you make a move somewhere unfamiliar at the beginning of an entirely new season of life without finding more about yourself.
After I made the move, I realized I felt the Lord tell me it's time to conquer my anxiety and I went into counseling. There I discovered that for a long time I had been believing my voice didn't matter, and I had an inferiority complex. My counselor helped me through this.
12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
I'm often slower to trust someone, but once I do, I trust them forever.
13. List some of the traits you: a) like; b)dislike most about yourself)
a) positive, kind, loving, gentle, soft, spiritual, peaceful
b) too big picture, incredibly critical of myself, absent-minded, forgetful of small details, too anxious
14. What do you see of notice in others that most people don't?
I tend to be a "deeper" person. So when I get to know someone, I try to really get to know. I try to find out their passions, what drives them. I'm also intuitive. I notice people's hearts.
15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
If they insult me, I feel sad. But insults cut more deeply when they come from people i trust and love. If they compliment me, I feel more confident
16. What's something you are: a) thankful you have; b) wish you could have? Why?
a) I'm so thankful for my relationship with God. God helps me step out in courage and guides me when i am weak. I am so immensely thankful for my friends, my apartment, my job, my car, my clothes. I'm thankful for my life in general. I feel very blessed.
b) I wish I did not have to struggle with anxiety. I wish I was devoid of fear entirely. I also wish I had more energy to do things. It's what gets in the way.