1, 4, 8 or completely confused? - Page 2

1, 4, 8 or completely confused?

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This is a discussion on 1, 4, 8 or completely confused? within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Originally Posted by gopmind Like I said before on a previous reply (you can check it if you want to, ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by gopmind View Post
    Like I said before on a previous reply (you can check it if you want to, it's on this post) I think that to complain and not do anything to try to solve the problem, simply won't be any useful... People could talk about more positive stuff, such as projects, life views. What I mean is, life isn't perfect but we can try and do our best with what we have, complaining won't do any help. It annoys me a lot when people complain and don't seem willing to change anything in their behaviour and will only blame outside forces (people, events, etc) without looking at themselves as well.
    yeah i get that, i meant to put emphasis on 'about their sad hopeless life' specifically. you highlighted that as opposed to say 'complain about work' or 'complain about an injury' or 'complain about their toothache'

    i agree, btw...complaining doesnt help the problem directly , but some people need to complain before they can move through an issue. its just the way it is. it helps some people process. for example Te users. high Te users will even talk to themselves just to process :P


    Quote Originally Posted by gopmind View Post
    Because I want to be seen as competent and I believe I am, the problem is my fear of failing.
    this is ok. you will find something you are competent in (if you havent already). fear is ok and failing is ok. neither will kill you :)

    type 4 can be quite fearless when its ready

    Quote Originally Posted by gopmind View Post
    I care about people's feelings and well being. Rude people usually just criticize and don't want to hear anyone else's inputs, they only care about themselves.
    type 4 is really into 'etiquette' i'd say
    it bothers you that other people are so open and freely/publicly care about themselves... but you also care about yourself, im sure :)

    Quote Originally Posted by gopmind View Post
    I always go to them, to check if they are really leaving, by observing their replies and behaviours. I never give any silent treatment in complicated situations, I just can't, because all I want is to solve the problem and decide if it is the end or not. What kills me is the anxiety of not knowing where they stand, so i absolutely can't sit still: always checking the phone for any reply, overthinking in my mind everything I said, what they might be thinking, etc until I get a positive reply and feel better (I'm in a long distance relationship, we only see each other once a week, and sometimes go a month without being together).
    hmm.... i suppose this might be able to fit into a disintegrated 2-like state. what is your mood/feeling when this situation is going on?

    Quote Originally Posted by gopmind View Post
    What happens a lot of times is not even acting out of fear of looking like im trying too hard and look like a failure.
    psychology would dictate, if you are trying hard enough to cause yourself anxiety about something... you are trying to hard.

    its interesting to me that you try to LOOK like youre working hard. the appearance of, but not actually, working hard.

    what do you think about - "if you focus on the work and not how you appear to others, your energy will focus on what youre working on and then appearance wont matter, because youll actually be working hard" ?

    Quote Originally Posted by gopmind View Post
    I'm a female btw, but i take it.
    *bows*

    my lady
    ;)


     
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