Hey, everyone! I've been reading a lot about the enneagram the past months, but I'm not sure about my type. Could you help type me? Thanks in advance!
Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):
It really annoys me when people complain and complain and complain about their sad hopeless life.
a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me?
b. Why did it bother me?
If people are really upset by something, they should try to solve it or atleast try to be more positive instead of just looking at the dark side of everything.
c. How did I react?
When people I'm close with do this, I try to give them possible solutions for them to solve the problem and/or give some other possible ways of looking at the problem. If I get extremely annoyed I just let them talk and don't say anything.
d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
Maybe give more emotional support
e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?
I can't agree with what the person is saying or be complacent with their negative view, so I can't pretent to.
3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?
Fear of failure, I would make the first move a lot more on relationships, projects, etc.
4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?
I feel guilty, like I'm a bad person and I failed and betrayed someone's trust. I can't imagine how I would react. I think it would ruin my relationship.
5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
I would choose the ring. I think about love as the foundation for everything else to go smoothly, if there's no love, nothing can make me happy.
6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
I would choose the second house, because I could choose its design and I think having a confortable peaceful and beautiful house can help wounders in everything else. My immediate family are the people I mostly wish to be able to visit me at my home so that would be fine.
8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.
That I deeply care. Sometimes, I get deffensive because I feel attacked and I react by attacking back, which leads times in relationships. Most of the times, this doesn't actually break my relatinships because I can quite easily say I shouldn't have acted the way I did.
9. What do you hope people won't notice about you?
I hope people won't notice that I don't trust myself a lot.
What are you uncomfortable being teased about?
I don't think there's anything you should be afraid of being teased about if you have enough inner strength, security and trust deep in yourself (even though it's not that easy to act this way, I'm becoming more and more confident each day and this is actually becoming my motto)
10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?
It's worse to be seen as caring less than I do, because I like people to notice and feel happy / grateful when I help them, it makes me feel as I'm actually helping and making a difference. Sometimes, I slightly pretend to care more so that people can feel loved, cared after and supported, and have the strength to improve (instead of just criticizing whatever it is).
11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?
I dislike being told what to do, it makes me feel like the person is imposing their ideas into me, it gives me even more confidence and strength to do as I want to and not as they're saying (or I suddently BECOME confident, it's like it sparkles action). I feel being taken advange of.
12. When you first meet someone, what are your first thoughts? What judgments do you make and what kinds of considerations do you have? Are you more concerned with what they think of you or what you think of them? If you are preparing to meet someone new, what do you hope about them and what do you fear about them?
First thoughts are do check if they look shallow or to care solely about appearances and not the real well being and if they're fun and easy to talk to. More concerned with what they think of me. While preparing to meet someone new, I hope they are sensitive, easy going and nice, I fear they are rude.
13. Think about the last time you cried (if you've recently lost a loved one or gone through another similarly difficult experience, you can go back further and choose a random instance). What caused this? Who was around? Were you crying out of sadness, joy, frustration, or some other factor? How did you feel afterwards? Did it change anything? Is this typical for you?
I thought my significant other didn't love me anymore and was beginning to walk away. I was by myself. Crying out of fear of her leaving me. Afterwards, I felt like I have to care more about myself and have a love foundation in myselft instead of in my lover. It's very typical for me to cry because of this when my love acts distant.
14. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different?
When I am able to state my opinions, be light, act and talk peacefully without having to second thought everything before saying it or even stop myself from saying it at all. I felt socially competent and confident in myself. What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?
Being afraid of not being taken seriously / being seen as trying too much and not having the ability to properly act / communicate.
16. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways that you have done badly - by yourself, by others, etc. - any time that you have done something, and wish you would have done better. How would you characterize these instances? What caused you to fail and what was your reaction?
I acted "superior", rude and not comprehensible at all. I do this when I feel like people attack me, state something bad about myself, I feel like attacked.
Are you more likely to be hard on yourself or to find excuses for yourself?
I'm more likely to be hard on myself when it comes to personal relationships, I always tend to think everyhthing's my fault and I ruined the relationship. When it comes to work, I'm confident: if I fail, I admit it and don't feel bad: I just have to be better next time
17. a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.
Not caring about anyone's feelings, yelling and being rude to everyone, make people feel bad when they do me wrong; steping on other people's way to get what I want.
b. Describe your ideal self.
Peaceful, understanding, present, heartfull, communicative, loyal, assertive.
18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
I fear it, it gives me feelings of depression.
I doubt myself and other people a lot.
I feel boredom when I feel useless.
I'm very lazy when it comes to studying, starting school assignments, cleaning the bedroom (getting better at this, I'm making my bed and cleaning my bedroom almost everyday now because I feel really bad if I live in chaos: when my room's a mess I don't spend time in it and always go to another more organized place).
Sometimes I lose my temper when I feel attacked by other people. Afterwards I feel bad and apologize.
19. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.
I relate most to envy, sometimes I feel like some people might have something I lack, and I guess I could say I envy them. I relate least to pride or lust.