Help me out, please?

Help me out, please?

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  • 1 Post By stardryad
  • 1 Post By stardryad

This is a discussion on Help me out, please? within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Hi! I've been researching a lot and even though I have a briefly idea of my possible types (tritype), I've ...

  1. #1

    Maybe a healthy 9w1?

    Hi! I've been researching a lot and even though I have a briefly idea of my possible types (tritype), I've read way too much and now I'm a bit confused So if you can, please help me out! I love to know more about myself!

    Main Questions

    1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
    The hope for a better future and the goodness that already exist right now. In times of much distress I used to think that everything was in vain and nothing would ever get better, life already has it natural pains (sickness and death) and some people, maybe a lot, would just make everything worse by being horrible human beings. Hope took me out of this "endless hole" and it's what keeps my strong and optimistic.

    2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
    To always improve myself and help other people to help themselves. By the way I see there's so much problems that we can solve just by knowing ourselves better and acting in a mindful way. It's one of the reasons I'm studying to be a psychologist. Also to create a purposeful and harmonious life.

    3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
    I avoid being too passive and lethargic, and I always check the motivation for my actions. For values I'll say compassion, authenticity, courage, self-improvement and determination.

    4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
    I'll guess my biggest fears is being hopeless, too dependent of other people, lost in myself, to find problems that I can't solve, to not being able to help make things better. Also to see my efforts being fruitless and to not be able to help my loved ones in their times of distress. I guess that's a lot of different fears but I found important to detail.

    5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
    Oh I always loved the archetype of the "Wise One", the person that others come to seek advice. In a simpler way, I like that others see me as a compassionate person, but firm, intuitive but also "thinking". I guess that's why I like Galadriel so much (and have her as my avatar lol) she passes me this vibe and it's so reassuring. But I think others see me as a calm and peaceful person, cooperative. I've heard once that I pass a "ancient one" vibe, that was interesting because I was really young at the time xD

    6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
    Best: When I accomplish things, especially things that I previously thought would be hard. To know a new interesting subject and study it to the fullest. To be in touch with nature and living beings, to solve problems. To feel I'm improving in terms of habits and personality and of course, to be with loved ones knowing that they're safe and well.
    Worst: To feel powerless, to not have enough knowledge to solve a emergency issue, to feel incompetent, to feel too "flawed", to feel I didn't improve myself enough, to feel that I'm a bad person.

    7. Describe how you experience each of:
    a) anger
    Nowadays I use my anger in my favor. There's situations that it's needed to allow yourself to be angry, others I see that my mood may "muddle" the issue in the "biggest scenario", in those I restrain myself to be angry only in my head. I may still sound irritated though. In general I dislike passing this image of "angry me" but I also want to be authentic so I won't lie when I feel or think something but I'll try to keep my cool.

    b) shame
    I used to feel a lot of shame in my youth since I had low self-esteem and all of that. Today it's healthier, only when I see that I messed up in some way (mainly socially). I'm very self-conscious so it's not rare to be too conscious of my appearance and how I wanted to change this or that. But after some thought I realize that I actually don't want to change these things and rather be myself.

    c) anxiety.
    When I'm leading. I want to make everything right and there's so many details to consider that I use to get anxious. Also when I have to do lot of things at once, or when I'm in a loud place. Actually, I force myself out of my comfort zone when I see I have/can do something better so yeah, I'm used to know how to deal with anxiety when it comes.

    8. Describe how you respond to each of:
    a) stress
    Stressful situations may be when too much it's happening, or I have to do too much at once, I fear it clashes with the "anxiety" topic. Basically I try to keep focused in what I have to do, I may talk faster and harshier but it's not in purpose. Sometimes I feel bad when I talk too harsh with someone in my times of stress, it reminds me to try harder control some nocive impulses.

    b) unexpected change
    Deep breaths and here I go. Life it's about changes and I must change along with it. I have the mindset that anything that happens I'll know how to deal with it. It's not like it's always easy, but I focus myself that I can and will do it.

    c) conflict
    If it's a discussion, it's not rare for me to want to walk away if the person it's just being an arse, to fight just to fight without a solid reason it's useless and I'm not here for it. If it's a real discussion I don't wanna back down, otherwise it would seem as I don't have arguments for my "cause", however I remind myself to stay objective and serene to make the other understand my point of view in a peaceful way. It's not rare for me to get anxious though, it makes harder to me to point out precisely what I think. I may get irritated if the other test my patience too much but I don't really explode.

    9. Describe your orientation to:
    a) authority
    I used to just respect authority when I was a kid, nowadays I get a bit more wary. Of course, I try to think by their point of view, some things must be done and all of that, but there's some situations that use to piss me off. Sometimes the person in charge just get bossy without justification and I just *eye roll*

    b) power. How do you respond to these?
    By this "power" I think "be in control of other people and situations". Used wisely, amazing, usually it's too corruptive and I think even the most assured minds tend to fall. Doesn't mean I'm avert to power myself, it's useless since I can't ignore something and it just will fade to exist. Just cautious with the power that controls the collective. For other side, I'm all about personal power.

    10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
    I'm hopeful that more and more people are fighting to make the world better. I like to think that humanity, in general, are not bad people, most may be just "asleep" to active thinking and feeling, just letting themselves act like their families or communities and spreading nocive behaviours. I always wanted to make things better, I remember being a kid as searching for worldwide problems so I could choose one and focus on changing that. Turns out my dream of becoming a veterinarian didn't turn out as I thougt xD But psychology showed me a path more suitable to me and I'm very optmistic with that. So yeah, hope keeps me going on and it's hope that I intend to pass foward.


    Optional Questions

    11. Discuss an event that has impacted your life significantly; more importantly, how you responded to it.
    My childhood. I always had a loving and supporting family but still had low self esteem. I always loved others, people, plants, animals, Love in its essence, I guess, but still I used to be too harsh on myself. In my worst, I thought I was not important. Knowing that, I was hesitant to voice my opinions (because others may "know better") and had a bit of difficulty setting boundaries. I also remember thinking it was okay because I was a good person, I thought people would be nice to me as much as I was nice to them because "why not?". However, with time I really really started to dislike being so vulnerable, so I pulled myself to change it. (I had help, of course) I felt horribly weak and that added with my need of constant improvement helped me boost in willpower that I would get better after much inner work. I made me who I am today, not wanting to be too "passive", to voice my opinions, to be firm. I never allowed myself to become cold or harsh though, I guess I reached a good "middle term".

    12. Comment on your relationship with trust.
    I tend to analyze the person to see if they're trustworthy, but in general I allow myself to trust other people quite easily, it's not like I'm giving all my life to them. If I need to trust someone "quite new" with something important I get a bit cautious and, if I can, I do it myself. But in general, it's calm. Discreet.

    13. List some of the traits you:
    a) like
    I like being compassionate and purposeful, to aim to a objective and get there. To be, at times, able to cool down when needed to solve things.

    b) dislike most about yourself.
    When I'm too hesitant to do something that it's needed. Being way too self-conscious and thus, too judging of myself.

    14. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't?
    I guess the behaviour, the way the person moves, their facial expression, tone of voice. Usually I just know some things but I can't pinpoint where I got it so I guess I took something by the way the person was behaving. Also, hidden motivations. Sometimes a person that it's being too harsh is, deep down, insecure or afraid of something. We tend to just get stressed but I use to notice if that's a reaction for something else that it's hidden.

    15. If a stranger insults you, how do you respond/feel? What if they compliment you?
    Uh I get offended? I'm trying to imagine a situation of it happening but it seems just weird lmao. I imagine I would defend myself, rationalize what the person is saying to me, pointing to their (possibly) aggressive behaviour and all of that. In case of complimenting I would be thankful, it's always nice to hear something good about you!

    16. What's something you are:
    a) thankful you have
    A supportive family that helped me when I went through my worst. I'm also thankful to have my personality, it took me to bad places of insecurity and worth but in general I like it a lot.

    b)wish you could have? Why?
    I don't really know? Everything I want I battle hard to get/be. I'm pretty happy right now.
    Last edited by stardryad; 05-31-2019 at 08:42 AM. Reason: I added more details.
    Marvin the Dendroid thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Soo there's big chances that I'm 9w1 (I admit that resisted to the core type 9), I thought I could be a 1w9 but I don't relate with "black and white mindset" and "judgemental" that I've read so many times. It may not apply for a lot of 1s (I feel like there's a lot of caricatures of the types out there) but without solid evidence that these things can not be taken into consideration, I'd rather not risk mistyping myself.

    One thing that bugs me is this "self-forget" that I've read that 9s go through, I always was very in touch with my personality, emotions and interests. I also never related to the "try to ignore or numb themselves to their problems", I think that the better way of dealing with a problem is solving it, seeking help, anything as long as we did something about it, but I guess we can't identify with everything we read.

    I identify the core fear of 9s (abandonment and loss) with my younger self, today I'm assertive and don't fear being alone (even though I'd rather not to), but the core fear of 1s (fear of being corrupted and/or evil) is surprisingly true for me. I fear that I may look like a bad person for someone who doesn't know me, or that the ideals and morals that I chose to follow ends up not being what I thought/fruitless, or that something changes in me and I lose compassion/touch with important things in life. I don't see it happening but the last time I experienced a similar thing was reading 1w9 descriptions and seeing "cold", "out of touch with others feelings", "judgemental" and stopped to reflect if that was the image that I passed to others (and got really sad with this possibility lol).

    So I'll assume I am a 9 that integrated to 3 and that's why I'm much healthier today (thankfully!), I can see how I disintegrated to 6 some years ago. I was very shaken when I found the enneagram, looked at the 9 and it was: "here, take this list of all the adjectives that you fought so hard to grow out of" so I was VERY distressed to be linked with that. I wanted so bad to see if I was other type because I'm not like that anymore and wanted to discover new things about myself, but I don't wanna lie to myself so I'm gonna stick with 9.

    (Still, if someone could add information/advice here, I would be very grateful)

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by stardryad View Post
    my worst.
    What were you like at your worst?

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    What were you like at your worst?
    At my worst I was extremely still and complacent, felt immensely unmotivated and like nothing I would do would matter. Also, irritated and prone to explosions (verbal, only), after that I always felt guilty since I don't like being angry with others/ around others.


 

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