Debating between 9w8 and 9w1

Debating between 9w8 and 9w1

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This is a discussion on Debating between 9w8 and 9w1 within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Hi, it's been difficult to tell whether I'm a 9w1 or 9w8. I know I am 9 for sure-I'm easygoing, ...

  1. #1

    Debating between 9w8 and 9w1

    Hi, it's been difficult to tell whether I'm a 9w1 or 9w8. I know I am 9 for sure-I'm easygoing, look at both sides of a conflict, eschew conflict and am very forgiving. I relate to the disintegration points too. I am ambitious and confident when happy like a 3 and tense and suspicious when down like a 6. But the wing is hard.

    I do enjoy some conflict actually, which makes me wonder 8 wing. It's more the fun kind though. I have a sassy streak and like to debate over random things with people. I like to pull pranks on friends and troll. I also like friendly competition- could be integration to 3 though?

    When it comes to anger, I rarely blow up at anyone and rarely show anger in general. I hear 8 wingers are more likely to explode out of the blue? I don't really relate to that. I relate to more of the passive aggressiveness of 9w1s-like I might walk off or roast someone. When I'm angry, I pace around the place and drown out my feelings with music or something. It's usually frustration, but things that make me angry are being controlled, criticism, and people being judgmental towards me or others.

    When it comes to 1 perfectionism, it's hard to tell how perfectionistic I am. Growing up, I remember fretting over silly details that would get in the way of me finishing homework. I feel guilty a lot-like from failure. But I am also terribly disorganized. As for rules and stuff, I follow them out of avoiding conflict, but I don't think they're all that important. As long as breaking the rule doesn't hurt anyone, what the hey?

    I discovered I like to lead like a 8 winger. I mean, I don't often because I'm an introvert. But while I'm often unopinionated, if I'm passionate about something, I'll want to lead. It feels awkward at times, but I like being in control.

    I got my moral compass like a 1. My biggest values are open-mindedness, fairness, and loyalty. While I don't think in black and white much and am relaxed about most of my beliefs, I get upset if I see people or animals on TV or something get hurt. I am generous like an 8, although I know that's not an exclusively 8 trait. I just find nice to help, share food. In romance, I like gift giving and planning the dates.

    Something about the 9w8 that stood about me is that they remain calm out of strength and not just out of avoiding conflict. And while I stay calm to avoid conflict too, a lot of why I remain calm is for that strength, and I just find it silly to get worked up over little things.

    So, what do you think? Throw me some questions. I feel like a 9w1 around acquaintances and 9w8 around friends

  2. #2

    Since they're so similar and there's levels of health to consider I too get confused with these wings. I think the best way to analyze it is to remember how you were some years ago and how much you changed:
    -Anger was never an issue for you? In the meaning of holding yourself to not "explode"?
    -You used to be more talkative and outgoing? Or always was more of a quiet person?

    I'm still learning about the differences, I even have a post here asking for help too but think about what I said, I hope it helps you somehow.

  3. #3

    I was always on the quiet side. I was more angry as a kid actually. Mellowed out as a teen. Crazy angry nah, didn't get into too much trouble. But I remember fighting with my mom and blowing up, making threats. I think I was disintegrating or something. I did have a few enemies and I just fought them back with sass and jokes. But I think I was still a 9-I had trouble saying no a lot, a friend described me as wanting everyone to get along, I had trouble asking for help, that stuff.

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  5. #4

    Interesting, I see 1s being more serious in terms of fights. You said you fought back these enemies with sass and joke and it screams 8 for me. I think I'm a 9w1 and when something like that happened I used to be just angry and frustrated, never occurred to me that I could "win" by being humorous. (Except when the brat was me, but were harmless things, I swear)
    LietPol34 thanked this post.

  6. #5

    You sound like a 9w8 to me: the sass, the sense of friendly competition, the willingness to lead.

    Do you know what your MBTI type is?
    ultracrepidarian thanked this post.

  7. #6

    Just off the cuff you sound more 9w8 than 9w1. More grounded than philosophical.

    Quote Originally Posted by LietPol34
    My biggest values are open-mindedness, fairness, and loyalty. While I don't think in black and white much and am relaxed about most of my beliefs, I get upset if I see people or animals on TV or something get hurt.
    That sounds 8ish too. Protectiveness. Defense of innocents.

  8. #7

    I've been in a very close relationship with an 9w8 for more than a decade. I'll catch small glimpses of 1-ish energy in him every once in a great while, but he's undoubtedly more an 8-wing. One thing I've noticed in him, is that when his anger comes out, or when he is motivated enough by something for it to surpass his 9-ish mute/narcotization, it often involves things that trigger 8's. Physical boundary violations... he's highly aware of 'strangers' or dangers in the environment...who comes into our neighborhood that we don't know or see often, he never forgets to make sure doors are locked, security cams are on, and I could talk about morals/principles, social causes and beliefs he doesn't necessarily agree with all dam day, he wouldn't bat an eye, usually.

    But if someone were to go into his private space, look through his things, become physically assertive (we've been In heated fights before, where I poked his chest or grabbed his arm to turn him as he was walking away - not proud of this just being honest) it ignites a fiery response in him that runs so counter to his usually chill demeanor, its actually scary. Like his eyes blaze with rage, and his body, muscles and stance become very clenched and tense.

    And, he's highly resistant/immune to any kind of emotional appeal during a fight or, situation he finds himself vulnerable in. Like any attempt to guilt-trip, shame, emotionally manipulate. only piss him off more. Even authentic emotional pleas or expressions, without any intention of manipulation, are often shut down. He doesn't seem to be to distinguish the two very easily, so his default is to just outright reject it all together as manipulation.

    Because he is a core 9, it takes a ridiculous amount of fuckery to move him to a point of anger, but once he's there, there is no back-peddling, there is no talking him down, no switching gears. He'll launch grenades even if you're only throwing stones, and he wont stop until it's complete. While he has a code and ethics which guide him on levels, there is a point where those can break down and he seems to embrace the universal or natural laws of power, meaning that if you don't have it and decide to push someone who does, and you end up blasted 'unreasonably' or 'unfairly' then that's your bad, you should have been smarter or more cautious to begin with. He doesn't see this as unreasonable, he sees our attmepts to get away from this reality as naÔve. Compared with me, where I feel that when one has power over others, with it comes a great, great responsibility to never misuse it. He'd say I'm childish in such idealism.
    Last edited by ultracrepidarian; 06-26-2019 at 10:37 AM.

  9. #8

    I know one 9w8 and two 9w1 quiet well. The 8-wing, I observed, gives the nine a livlier energy, and especially I think a taste in people who have a determined and strong character. I also think and I have read this in the books too, the 9w8 has quiet a clash of styles in his or her personality. They allow themselves to be difficult, they are more self-assertive, they are more connected to their wants and I have observed that they have also the typical 8ish protector quality and actively do something for you when they realise your in a bad shape.

    9w1 is a more harmonious combination. Both nine and one see themselves very much as playing within the rules, they're insiders. Eights are not. Under the anger of the eight is of course fear, so they are also much more reactive than their cousins with the one-wing. They're the more "nervous" nines. They maybe also just like eights don't like too much to look at themselves, or better, they let you know more clearly about their likes and dislikes...
    stardryad thanked this post.

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