What Am I?

What Am I?

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This is a discussion on What Am I? within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; I want to say that I am one of the "head" types because I tend to approach things really rationally. ...

  1. #1

    What Am I?

    I want to say that I am one of the "head" types because I tend to approach things really rationally. But I also feel like I have traits from the "heart" and "gut" types too so I guess I need a second opinion here.

    Here we go:

    1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

    It's hard to say -- I think my main driving force right now is emotional and financial stability. I want to be surrounded by people I like and who like me, and have the resources to pursue my interests. I look for a challenge, something that makes me feel like I'm actually using my analytical skills and providing insight. I guess that might be the bigger driving force in the long term.

    2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

    Stability again -- but mostly as a foundation for being able to challenge myself more. I want to be in a place where I can freely pursue the areas I'm interested in -- whether that means going back to school or taking up hobbies or surrounding myself with interesting people. I basically need intellectual challenges and stimulation to feel happy so the biggest accomplishment for me would probably just be being able to get as much of that as I need.

    3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

    I want to avoid hurting others and forcing them to serve my needs. I value the ability to take criticism and to constantly grow as a person. I also don't want to be the kind of person who sees themselves as superior because of their intellect or whatever.

    4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

    Never getting the kind of intellectual/interpersonal challenges that I crave. Being written off as stupid or lazy or "wasting my potential". Putting a lot of energy into something only for it to turn out to be boring/unfulfilling, or putting energy toward people only for them to turn out to be judgmental jerks.

    5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

    I want people to see me as smart and capable and to admire my ability to catch onto things and learn quickly. I like my intelligence and insight and clever personality, and I want people to see me the way I see myself and like me for the qualities I like in myself. I guess I like to think I try and see myself clearly/objectively (and want others to do the same -- not thru the lens of what they want from me or think I should be like.

    6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

    I feel my best when I'm able to learn something new, to solve a challenge, and to impress people.

    I feel the worst when I have to do the same menial things day in and day out with no chance of anything interesting happening, when people write off my opinions or advice without even bothering to tell me why they disagree, and when I fail at something I know everyone was expecting me to be good at.

    7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

    I don't think I get angry a lot, but when I do it is really intense and I hate feeling that way -- I've been told that I have a tendency to bottle things up but I think it's more that I prefer to tackle problems logically and when that doesn't work then frustration can build up.

    Shame I don't know I have a lot of experience with. I don't necessarily get embarrassed easily, I think when other people read me as embarrassed or ashamed it tends to actually be anxiety that I'm feeling.

    I used to be a much more anxious person than I am now -- I've dealt with a lot of clinical anxiety that has improved over time with medication, therapy, and supportive friends. I was definitely a really anxious kid who took rules at face value, and I'm still fairly cautious as an adult, but again I think that's mainly because I prefer to think things through.

    8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

    How I deal with stress kind of depends on the situation. If I have good emotional support I'm usually fine in the long run. Every bad situation ends eventually, it's just a question of waiting it out or finding the right opportunity to change the situation or leave.

    Unexpected changes can definitely throw me off and I'm not a huge fan of surprises, but I'll usually adjust. Especially if the change doesn't actually hurt anything.

    And I usually try to avoid conflict. I don't think I've ever (intentionally) started a fight in my life. I won't bend my principles or change who I am just because someone else has a problem -- but I will and do use my brain to figure out how to avoid pushing people's buttons and/or smooth things over when necessary.

    9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

    I think both of these are the same? Authority is someone who has the power to make others do what they want or follow certain rules.

    10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

    I like to think that most people are inherently good, and don't actively want to hurt others for no reason. I think a lot of evil in the world comes from people who have trouble seeing the world beyond their own life and perspective and a handful of genuinely evil people who manipulate others using this. I also think that as the world is getting more and more connected, there are more opportunities for hate because people are encountering more people who are different from them, but ultimately people will figure out some way of adapting and getting along because of self preservation.
    Last edited by mayberaye; 08-11-2019 at 02:13 PM.



  2. #2

    4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

    Never getting the kind of intellectual/interpersonal challenges that I crave. Being written off as stupid or lazy or "wasting my potential". Putting a lot of energy into something only for it to turn out to be boring/unfulfilling, or putting energy toward people only for them to turn out to be judgmental jerks.
    Hej, thank's for asking.

    My first feeling was five, five, five, when I went through the first few questions, but not very clearly. You don't seem to have too much certainty about your life's purpose, that the first questions are about, and that can be fivish too. Fives feel senselessness easily because we're not very well in touch with our anger life force from the gut. A kind of a heady type is also the One. I think this can be ruled out because the One equals purpose.

    The sentences I quoted above are the Five's fears. I think that although it barely ever happens because we are smart we still fear to look stupid - do we really fear to look stupid? - is it not rather a trying to convince others of our smartie self-image?

    The fear of "wasting my potential" is typical too, I believe. We think that because we are so strong with making sense of information, and intellectual strenghts is so highly regarded in our societies that we need to do something really great with it, isn't it? It is very relieving to realise that we absolutely not need to do something with it, but are allowed, just as everybody else, to do with our lives what we want them to look like. And here we're really in trouble, to find out what we want, and therefore I believe that this is the way to happiness because it is the way to learn to live with our fear. The rest of this praragraph about your focus on investing energy well, and how you believe your energy is spoiled, is regarded as the five's answer to our core fear, to end up depleted and helpless.

    Yes, I went through the rest of your answers superficially now. And for me it is five, five, five...

    But what is it for you?

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by Sengai View Post
    The fear of "wasting my potential" is typical too, I believe. We think that because we are so strong with making sense of information, and intellectual strenghts is so highly regarded in our societies that we need to do something really great with it, isn't it? It is very relieving to realise that we absolutely not need to do something with it, but are allowed, just as everybody else, to do with our lives what we want them to look like.
    I don't think it's relieving to not "have" to do something with my intellectual potential. I think it's frustrating to not get the chance as often as I'd like. I think I can even be a bit of a showoff about it sometimes, which might be where the worry about judgement comes in. Or it could just be a generic fear of failure.

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  5. #4

    Don't think, just try : )


 

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