Another soul on the internet means another soul that needs help being typed.

Another soul on the internet means another soul that needs help being typed.

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  • 1 Post By AzureMustang
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This is a discussion on Another soul on the internet means another soul that needs help being typed. within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; ...

  1. #1

    Another soul on the internet means another soul that needs help being typed.

    Hi, all! Hope everyone is doing well. I recently discovered the Enneagram of Personality not too long ago. I have been struggling to find out which Enneatype I am. I have taken several tests but have had different results for each. My results have ranged from 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, and 9. Yikes! Now, if we are taking wings into account, I have scored as 1w2, 2w1, 5w4, and 9w1. I just really want to know which type I am.

    I have used the alternate questionnaire from one of the sticky threads. My MBTI type is INFJ if that helps in deciding which type I am.

    Let's go!

    1. How would an author describe you in a book? Write the paragraph that would introduce you in a novel.
    One more minute until class started. AzureMustang and the handicapped girl in a wheelchair came to a stop at the doors of Southern Hall.
    “I appreciate your help so much, sir. I will be OK from here. You should get to your class,” said the handicapped girl.
    “Are you sure? I can be a little late to class, it’s fine,” said AzureMustang.
    “Don’t worry, this building has an elevator I can use,” said the handicapped girl.
    “Oh, right. I can’t believe I forgot about that.”
    AzureMustang peeked at his watch. 1:00 P.M. He walked, picking up the pace as he ventured upstairs to room 206. Dr. Feller’s had already started. Down the hall, AzureMustang noticed the doors to room 206 were still opened. AzureMustang sighed. He didn’t like to make people wait, whether it be a friend, teacher, or an administrator. AzureMustang hustled through the doorway. Dr. Feller’s face lit up.
    “Oh, there he is. I was getting worried something happened to you. You never miss class and you’re usually one of the first people here.”
    “Sorry for the hold up, thank you for waiting for me,” said AzureMustang.
    AzureMustang walked to his seat and sat down. Reaching into his bag, he slammed his notebook on his desk, unaware of the serious yet worried expression on his face. AzureMustang took his classes, attendance, and time of arrival seriously. He came back from track practice, which was scheduled later than usual. The captains were in charge of organizing practice; AzureMustang compromised with them to ensure that he would make class on time. Things were going smoothly, but he just had to help the sweet girl in the wheelchair cross the road. An open house event was going on campus. There were too many drivers, some lost and careless, AzureMustang took time out of his own priorities to help her.
    Dr. Feller raised a piece of chalk at the green board.
    “Now then,” said Dr. Fellar. “Shall we begin?”

    2. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways other people have annoyed, angered, or otherwise bothered you - any situation where people have done one thing, while you wished they would have done another. Look at each of these instances and answer (you can make a list or make note of general patterns - an example is good):

    a. How would I characterize the trait that bothered me?
    I was irritated. I was playing a video game when my friend criticized me for my rather sub-par abilities to function in a fast-paced platformer game.
    b. Why did it bother me?
    My hand-eye-coordination and special awareness aren’t the best. I know it’s not my best strength, but I really do wish I was better at it.
    c. How did I react?
    I repressed my irritation. I like my friend so much, even getting annoyed with him is a no-no in my book. He’s also a sensitive person. I replied by laughing it off and saying in a funny voice: “I’m trying.”
    d. How do I wish I would have reacted?
    I wouldn’t change the way I reacted. As a side note, my week has been really good that this is really the worst thing I could think of haha.
    e. If there was a discrepancy between c. and d., why did it come up?
    I’m sensitive towards other’s feelings and opinions about things. He’s just my friend there’s no need to get worked up about a video game, one’s hand-eye-coordination, and special awareness, right?

    3. What holds you back in life? This can be an internal or external force. If that thing were gone, what would be different? What would you do?
    My high standards for myself, excessive daydreaming, student loan debt, helping others too much.
    If I didn’t have these forces, I would definitely be more confident and in pursuit of my goals; I would definitely take more risks.

    4. Your deepest secret has just been revealed to the person or people from whom you most wished to keep it. How do you feel? How do you react? What are the results on your life?

    I would feel scared that others would think differently about me. Though in a way, I would feel relieved that it finally came out; that secret has been bottling for years. I react by blowing up with rage and/or crying. I would blame systems, people, and myself for not knowing better. No one would truly know the results of what would happen if their secret was out, but I have a hunch about mine. I think some people would say that other people are going through the same trouble as me, although it doesn’t seem that way. Others would also tell me that things are going to be OK and that I have a really strong spirit, much stronger than I realize.

    5. You are offered one of three gifts: a bottle filled with water from the Fountain of Life, a crown which will give you peaceful dominion over the world's people for your entire (full) lifetime, and a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

    I would not take the water from the Fountain of Life; too much uncertainty about what it actually is and what would happen. I would not take the ring, because it seems like a selfish goal and the love would feel fake. Finding my soulmate by going the actual/right way is better. With those two options out of the way, I would take the crown. I would love to be a leader, to ensure peace and harmony for people, to watch others grow and be happy with what my leadership has established for them. I usually don’t like leadership positions, but if the calling is there, I will pursue it. Although, this passion of being crowed king is not without it’s (potential) faults. I would hesitate to take the crown because people are corrupted by power. I would be afraid of being cast under power’s horrible spell of corruption. I don’t want people to think I’m some kind of monster. I also don’t want to put too much harm on my people; their safety and feelings are sensitive to me.


    6. You are offered one of three houses. The first is located in a big city and has historic and artistic value: it was designed by a great architect and was owned by interesting people in the past. Owning this house is very prestigious and guarantees you social status and a circle of friends, but it also comes with responsibility - you must keep the house up to code, manage the household, and give parties and events. The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family. The third house is very nice, but has no particular aesthetic appeal - a McMansion in short. It is in an extremely convenient location and is very secure. It is impossible for thieves to break in and it has no danger of natural disasters. You are guaranteed to be able to sell the house for double the price in twenty years. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

    I am a really imaginative and rather private person, so the second option I think is best. For the first option, I don’t really care about social status; I like to treat everyone as equals. The third option seems too bland for me. My hesitations for this would be that my choice in the dream house is that it seems selfish in a way. However, I have a very idealized belief system and I can apply that to the house with no restrictions! What motivates me to have that house is that I can “dream up” of different sections of the house that can be fitting for different personalities of my family and not just myself. Everyone, myself included, will be happy!


    7. You are offered one of three doors. The first opens to a world that is dangerous and demands mental or physical skill to navigate through, but also has great rewards to be gained: think of the worlds portrayed on the shows Game of Thrones or Supernatural. The second opens to a world that is full of wonders, magic, and knowledge, which can be learned or experienced, but there is little solid resting ground - think of the worlds portrayed in the shows Doctor Who or in the multi-media phenomenon A Hitchkiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The third opens to a world where you may experience a life of peaceful, uneventful poverty - think of the hobbits in the series Lord of the Rings or most of the animals living in Narnia. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?

    I would choose the third door, because it’s the most peaceful. Sure, conflict can happen in this third door world, but with the other door worlds have too many instances of betrayal and people acting out their own free-will in malicious ways (or at least that’s what I think). To me, the third door world seems to have the best chance at achieving peace.

    8. What do you wish people understood about you? Talk about a time you were misunderstood.

    I wish people would understand that if I complain about something, it has been on my mind for a long time. Also, I wish people would know that sometimes I don’t talk to certain people or speak up is because I have mentally disconnected myself from them because they have harmed me in some way in the past. One time I was misunderstood was when I vented about issues that were bothering me for a long time. I used this as a cry for help and comfort, but people instead ridiculed me and started spreading rumors about me (and others) being pessimistic and bringing other people down. They started viewing me differently from before. My intention wasn’t to bring other people down or bring a pessimistic attitude to the group. In fact, other people brought that in before me, but I just let that stuff slide; everyone vents once a while, right? The toxic behavior of these people got so out of hand that I simply cut them out of my life as a way to avoid conflict. I hate admitting it, but I’ve developed a grudge towards them.

    9. What do you hope people won't notice about you? What are you uncomfortable being teased about?

    I hope people don’t notice how awful I am with sports that require good hand-eye-coordination or how uncomfortable I feel at large parties since I cannot dance. I have no interest in these sorts of things, so I try my best to come up with excuses to avoid these. I hate wearing a mask to dodge myself out of situations. I know I’m good at it, but it irks me the wrong way when I lie to like that.

    10. What's worse - to be seen as caring more than you do or less than you do? Why? Do you think you come across one way or the other? Do you typically pretend to care more or to care less?

    To be seen as less caring. I actually do care more about others more than myself at times. I have given up my own time for the sake of helping, improving, and listening to others. It may sound crazy, but I just think it’s the right thing to do. I’m not looking for praise or approval.

    11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?
    I’m going to pass on this. I can’t think of any at the moment.
    If anything, I feel as though I would be the one to manipulate others, though I don’t mean it in a harmful way >_< I usually maneuver my way out of situations to avoid conflict.

    12. When you first meet someone, what are your first thoughts? What judgments do you make and what kinds of considerations do you have? Are you more concerned with what they think of you or what you think of them? If you are preparing to meet someone new, what do you hope about them and what do you fear about them?

    I see people in a positive light when I first meet them. I can be judgmental about their negative qualities, but I like to see their positive as more important. Everyone has flaws. I don’t really have considerations when I meet people, as long as you treat me the way I want to be treated, you’re good with me. However, that can change if the new person is someone is inconsiderate of others or is someone that breaks promises. What I fear most about meeting someone new is if they are someone who questions my integrity as I like to lead by example.

    13. Think about the last time you cried (if you've recently lost a loved one or gone through another similarly difficult experience, you can go back further and choose a random instance). What caused this? Who was around? Were you crying out of sadness, joy, frustration, or some other factor? How did you feel afterwards? Did it change anything? Is this typical for you?

    The situation I remembered was one out of despair. It happened about a month or two ago. Since graduating college, I have been struggling to find a full-time good paying job. My brother actually noticed the look of sorrow on my face, although I was unaware, I was giving off that look. Anyway, I cried because it seems that so many people seem to have their lives figured out, are in happy relationships, and I’m nowhere where I want to be. I established ambitious goals for myself, but I feel as though my efforts became meaningless. Everyone I know puts faith in me so I hate to let them down. Also, I put very high expectations for myself since I felt I have been self-sufficient for a long time. I try really hard, and am quite good at, masking my problems. I bring optimism to the classroom (I’m currently substitute teacher in a district with a great group of kids) because showing shame and sadness is an idea in my book. I feel more hopeful now that I am getting more credentials to make myself more marketable, but that day I cried, it felt as if my life was doomed.

    14. Think about the last time you felt really happy, joyful, or satisfied. What caused this feeling? What was different? What keeps you from feeling this way all the time?

    I felt so happy when a teacher at one of the schools I worked at praised me for my classroom management, enthusiasm, and caring nature with the kids. I felt so validated and it made me realize that little actions are meaningful. What was different is that someone else praised me, far too often I compare myself to others and make judgments about me myself. I guess what keeps me from feeling this way all the time is the fact that I have high standards and compare myself to others.

    15. If you were a tragic hero, what would be your fatal flaw? If you were a character in a comedy, what would be your distinguishing trait (i.e. stingy with money, fastidious, shallow, pretentious, etc.) Do you think others would agree with these?

    Probably that I’m too private about myself. Yes, I am interested in others, and willing to listen to and care for others, but even my friends will admit that I can be too private and cryptic at times haha. Ugh, I find it hard to open up to others.

    16. Think over the past day or week and make a mental list (you can also write it here) of ways that you have done badly - by yourself, by others, etc. - any time that you have done something, and wish you would have done better. How would you characterize these instances? What caused you to fail and what was your reaction? Are you more likely to be hard on yourself or to find excuses for yourself?

    Can’t think of any moments. I’ll pass.


    17. a. Imagine meeting an evil version of yourself - your 'dark side' - and describe this person.

    The dark side of me is one who is very manipulative. My dark version of myself is very in-tune with the feelings and lives of others; he would control people with ease almost like a puppet master. My dark side is a nasty plotter; planning ahead to ensure that he would never get backed into a corner. My dark side is hypercritical and angry towards leaders who abuse their power and cause social injustice. My dark half would somehow keep a low-profile and do anything he could to remove corrupt people from power to fix what he sees wrong with the world.

    Yikes, I hated writing this.

    b. Describe your ideal self.

    My ideal self is one who is more confident in pursing his goals, has overcome the anxiety of starting a difficult project, comfortable with his position in life, and is consistently helping others to make sure they are the best they were meant to be.

    18. What is your experience with and how do you deal with the following:
    a. loneliness = I feel lonely from time to time. I like my alone time, but I feel envious of those who are able to easily form connections with others. I value deep connections, but it’s hard for me to open up.
    b. doubt = I experience doubt only if I am pressured to do something, I don’t feel comfortable doing. I usually measure the pros and cons of a project before starting it to ensure I won’t experience doubt.
    c. boredom = I don’t get bored often. If I’m bored, I can retreat into my mind and daydream :D
    d. laziness = I work my ass off at work, I set high expectations for myself, but sometimes I can become burned out and retreat into my mind as a way of avoiding problems. A lot of people think I work hard, but I feel lazier than what others think of me. I am guilty of putting things off, but I do complete them and with 100% effort.
    e. temper = I hold a tight grip on my temper; I’m scared of breaking the peace so I hide it the best I can. To release my temper, I resort to being alone in my room and listening to music.

    19. Which of the 'seven deadly sins' - pride, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, avarice - do you relate to most and why? Which do you relate to least and why? Feel free to go into depth about these.

    I relate to lust the least because I don’t want power nor do I want to indulge in sensual pleasures all the time. Never had problems with gluttony, and never had problems with avarice since I give more than I take.

    Pride = I can be hypocritical at times. I give great advice to people even though I may not follow it myself.
    Wrath = It takes a lot for me to get angry and for me to hold a grudge on someone. I do experience anger, but I do everything I can to hide it. I’m scared one day I’ll blow up on those I love; I think my rage can be scary.
    Sloth = I put things off from time to time, but I work so hard at work and for my friends in need. I daydream so much though to avoid the problems of the real world.
    Envy = I like to treat everyone as equals, and I am happy towards those I support, but sometimes I can get really envious towards those that I perceive have it easier and that “destiny” favors. So many people have qualities to them I really wish I had.


    20. Link a song you relate to and explain why.

    I don’t relate to a specific song; I like too many. I use music as an outlet to express my emotions, as I have a hard time expressing them myself.
    Neetee thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Enneagram Type 2



    The Two is extremely adaptable and has eight arms with powerful suckers!


    Twos at a Glance

    Chief Asset: Connection. Twos have a unique ability to understand and empathize with the needs of others. They can read emotional currents and provide just the thing that others need.

    What They Like in Others: Friendliness, sharing of feelings, display of emotion.

    What They Dislike in Others: Coldness, unavailability, lack of needs.

    How They Frustrate Others: Flattery, emotionality, intrusiveness.

    Approach to Problem Solving: “I’m fine; is there anything I can do to help you?”

    Belief About Work: “Things work best when I can help people succeed.”

    How Others See Twos: Helpful, concerned, expressive, dependable, and engaging, but sometimes intrusive, angry, flattering, prideful, and manipulative.

    Twos Get Into Trouble When They Tell Themselves: “People who really appreciate what I do for them are more important than others and deserve a larger share of my attention.

    Blind Spot: Demandingness. Twos are often unaware of their tendency to be demanding and its affect on their relationships. Twos may act like a spoiled and pampered prince or princess and demand that they are appreciated. They exert pressure on others to meet their needs, but feel they deserve this special treatment because they do so much, and care so much, for others. They express their entitlement as, “That’s what I would do for you.”

    Enneagram Learning International


    The Two – Derailers

    Breaking boundaries: The desire to “help” causes you to become intrusive and involve yourself in the affairs of others, whether invited or not.

    Histrionics: Inappropriate and overly emotional responses to circumstances; can be excessive displays of anger, sadness, jealousy, excitement, etc.

    Playing favorites: Seeing some people as more worthy of your attention than others; an innate tendency to rank others by perceived value and treat them accordingly. This can also lead to abrupt treatment of people or issues that you do not see as important.

    Worrying about everyone else’s problems: Focusing on the needs and desires of other people instead of your own in an effort to be helpful and appreciated.

    Needing other people to like you: Anxiety, conformity, self-sacrifice, and/or insincerity caused by the need to have other people like you.

    Always taking support role: Resistance to leading from the front; preferring to lead from behind by advising, supporting, or manipulating.

    Enneagram Learning International


    Unfortunately there are not enough Twos left who can’t say ‘no’ and answer the numerous typing threads with zero responses in these days of dying internet forums.

    My results have ranged from 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, and 9. Yikes! Now, if we are taking wings into account, I have scored as 1w2, 2w1, 5w4, and 9w1.
    That’s normal and speaks against the questionnaire and/or against the Enneagram as a system, but it can still be useful as a taxonomy. And only you decide whether the concept of wings and/or of Katherine Chernick Fauvre’s Tritypes[/url] is useful for your self exploration.

    I propose that you put your mind on your Enneagram type plus the so-called instinct first, solve the problems that you diagnose and explore the rest later.


    HELPING OTHERS TOO MUCH = SELF-ABANDONMENT

    Helping others too much.
    If I didn’t have these forces, I would definitely be more confident and in pursuit of my goals; I would definitely take more risks.
    To be seen as less caring. I actually do care more about others more than myself at times. I have given up my own time for the sake of helping, improving, and listening to others. It may sound crazy, but I just think it’s the right thing to do.
    That not only sounds crazy, that is definitely crazy! Except for Twos, of course.

    never had problems with avarice since I give more than I take.
    but I work so hard at work and for my friends in need
    I would take the crown. I would love to be a leader, [b]to ensure peace and harmony for people, to watch others grow and be happy[b] with what my leadership has established for them.
    I also don’t want to put too much harm on my people; their safety and feelings are sensitive to me.
    What motivates me to have that house is that I can “dream up” of different sections of the house that can be fitting for different personalities of my family and not just myself. Everyone, myself included, will be happy!



    Somewhat repetitive but useful, especially with respect to the N preference of INFJs. For ISFJs the practical side of help (micromanagement) is in tune with their S preference.


    VERY HIGH STANDARDS FOR YOURSELF (PRIDE, IMAGE MANAGEMENT) …

    My high standards for myself
    far too often I compare myself to others and make judgments about me myself.

    a ring which will unite you with your true love and ensure a happy, passionate marriage.
    I would not take the ring, because [b]it seems[b] like a selfish goal and the love would feel fake.
    Really, true love is a selfish goal?


    … BUT LOW STANDARDS FOR OTHERS

    I see people in a positive light when I first meet them. I can be judgmental about their negative qualities, but I like to see their positive as more important
    as long as you treat me the way I want to be treated, you’re good with me
    Not true! See the video game example.


    SEEING YOURSELF MOSTLY WITH THE EYES OF OTHERS

    I would feel scared that others would think differently about me.
    I don’t want people to think I’m some kind of monster.
    They started viewing me differently from before.
    What I fear most about meeting someone new is if they are someone who questions my integrity as I like to lead by example.
    Everyone I know puts faith in me so I hate to let them down.
    someone else praised me
    I felt so validated
    I’m not looking for praise or approval.
    Blind spot!

    “Twos sometimes do flatter others, but, as the Two’s underlying program is “to give in order to get,” the ego most in need of flattering here is actually the Two’s. Being unlovable is the Two’s deepest fear, and Twos generally will simply not allow into their consciousness any evidence that contradicts their positive self-image as being loving and giving. Unhealthy Twos then, are masters in the art of self-deception and something of this quality attaches to all Twos who have not consciously worked to see through it.

    Twos are likely to object that they do not in fact “give to get.” They give out of the fullness of their hearts. There is indeed some truth to this, but it is only a partial truth. Twos are not consciously aware of their need for appreciation, of their need to be needed. And it is true that when they give, they are fully attending to the other person; they are trying to be helpful. Because they are focusing on others, they are, and tend to remain, unaware of their own neediness, while those in the Two’s life will often be very much aware that the Two’s giving is not entirely selfless. The truth is that the Two’s program of “giving to get” is, like all of the Enneagram programs, largely unconscious. One of the benefits of learning the Enneagram, perhaps the central benefit, is that it can enable us all to become more aware of the unconscious agendas that underlie much of our behavior and determine much of our fate.” https://oceanmoonshine9.wordpress.com/twos/


    CONFLICT AVOIDANCE (See also MASK and MANIPULATION)

    The third opens to a world where you may experience a life of peaceful, uneventful poverty - think of the hobbits in the series Lord of the Rings or most of the animals living in Narnia. Which do you choose and why? What are your hesitations and motivations?
    I would choose the third door, because it’s the most peaceful. Sure, conflict can happen in this third door world, but with the other door worlds have too many instances of betrayal and people acting out their own free-will in malicious ways (or at least that’s what I think). To me, the third door world seems to have the best chance at achieving peace.

    WEARING A MASK = HIDING YOUR FEELINGS

    I repressed my irritation. I like my friend so much, even getting annoyed with him is a no-no in my book. He’s also a sensitive person. I replied by laughing it off and saying in a funny voice: “I’m trying.”

    d. How do I wish I would have reacted?

    I wouldn’t change the way I reacted.

    I’m sensitive towards other’s feelings and opinions about things. He’s just my friend there’s no need to get worked up about a video game, one’s hand-eye-coordination, and special awareness, right?
    Wrong!

    I wish people would understand that if I complain about something, it has been on my mind for a long time. Also, I wish people would know that sometimes I don’t talk to certain people or speak up is because I have mentally disconnected myself from them because they have harmed me in some way in the past.
    I try really hard, and am quite good at, masking my problems.
    because showing shame and sadness is [not] an idea in my book.
    e. temper = I hold a tight grip on my temper; I’m scared of breaking the peace so I hide it the best I can. To release my temper, I resort to being alone in my room and listening to music.
    Wrath = It takes a lot for me to get angry and for me to hold a grudge on someone. I do experience anger, but I do everything I can to hide it. I’m scared one day I’ll blow up on those I love; I think my rage can be scary.

    YOU DON’T KNOW YOUR OWN FEELINGS

    AzureMustang walked to his seat and sat down. Reaching into his bag, he slammed his notebook on his desk, unaware of the serious yet worried expression on his face. AzureMustang took his classes, attendance, and time of arrival seriously.
    My brother actually noticed the look of sorrow on my face, although I was unaware
    of the serious yet worried expression on his face.
    MANIPULATION

    11. Think about a time that someone else tried to control your actions - to tell you what to do, to manipulate you, or influence you. How did you feel and how did you react? What went through your mind?
    I’m going to pass on this. I can’t think of any at the moment.[/quote]
    Blind spot! You don’t understand yet how manipulative you are, and you don’t grade yet the manipulative faculties of others. But that will soon change!

    If anything, I feel as though I would be the one to manipulate others, though I don’t mean it in a harmful way >_< I usually maneuver my way out of situations to avoid conflict.
    Exactly! IFJs are the most manipulative introverts, only they have the required people skills. Twos generally manipulate for purposes they consider as altruistic.

    The dark side of me is one who is very manipulative. My dark version of myself is very in-tune with the feelings and lives of others; he would control people with ease almost like a puppet master. My dark side is a nasty plotter; planning ahead to ensure that he would never get backed into a corner. My dark side is hypercritical and angry towards leaders who abuse their power and cause social injustice. My dark half would somehow keep a low-profile and do anything he could to remove corrupt people from power to fix what he sees wrong with the world.

    Yikes, I hated writing this.
    You know it all, just that it is somewhat hidden!

    consistently helping others to make sure they are the best they were meant to be.
    According to you, of course!




    Excellent: Until 12:12 and from 27:08. I hope this will shock you, but hopefully not too much.


    “Perhaps the biggest obstacle facing Twos, Threes, and Fours in their inner work is having to face their underlying Center fear of worthlessness. Beneath the surface, all three types fear that they are without value in themselves, and so they must be or do something extraordinary in order to win love and acceptance from others. In the average to unhealthy Levels, Twos present a false image of being completely generous and unselfish and of not wanting any kind of pay-off for themselves, when in fact, they can have enormous expectations and unacknowledged emotional needs.

    Average to unhealthy Twos seek validation of their worth by obeying their superego’s demands to sacrifice themselves for others. They believe they must always put others first and be loving and unselfish if they want to get love. The problem is that “putting others first” makes Twos secretly angry and resentful, feelings they work hard to repress or deny. Nevertheless, they eventually erupt in various ways, disrupting Twos’ relationships and revealing the inauthenticity of many of the average to unhealthy Two’s claims about themselves and the depth of their “love.”


    “Level 3: Encouraging and appreciative, able to see the good in others. Service is important, but takes care of self too: they are nurturing, generous, and giving—a truly loving person.

    Average Levels

    Level 4: Want to be closer to others, so start "people pleasing," becoming overly friendly, emotionally demonstrative, and full of "good intentions" about everything. Give seductive attention: approval, "strokes," flattery. Love is their supreme value, and they talk about it constantly.

    Level 5: Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for others—wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill.

    Level 6: Increasingly self-important and self-satisfied, feel they are indispensable, although they overrate their efforts in others' behalf. Hypochondria, becoming a "martyr" for others. Overbearing, patronizing, presumptuous.

    Unhealthy Levels

    Level 7: Can be manipulative and self-serving, instilling guilt by telling others how much they owe them and make them suffer. Abuse food and medication to "stuff feelings" and get sympathy. Undermine people, making belittling, disparaging remarks. Extremely self-deceptive about their motives and how aggressive and/or selfish their behavior is.

    Level 8: Domineering and coercive: feel entitled to get anything they want from others: the repayment of old debts, money, sexual favors.

    Level 9: Able to excuse and rationalize what they do since they feel abused and victimized by others and are bitterly resentful and angry. Somatization of their aggressions results in chronic health problems as they vindicate themselves by "falling apart" and burdening others. Generally corresponds to the Histrionic Personality Disorder and Factitious Disorder.”

    https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-2




    Watch from 3:00 to 5:07


    “Never attempt to rescue a drowning person in the ocean. In the event of a drowning emergency: Summon the lifeguard, call 911, throw something that floats to the drowning victim, or attempt to reach them with a long pole or stick as a last resort [in that order]. Never compromise your own safety to attempt to save someone else. Lifeguards receive extensive training and have specialized equipment to deal with drowning emergencies.” https://www.survivalfitnessplan.com/...rowning_Victim

    Wikipedia: Danger to Rescuer

    In emergency situations in which lifeguards or other trained personnel are not present, it is advisable to wait for the victim to stop moving or sink before approaching, rescuing, or resuscitating. While the instinctive reaction to drowning is taking place, the victim will latch onto any nearby solid objects in attempts to get air, which can result in the drowning of a would-be rescuer as well as (or instead of) the original victim. This "aquatic victim-instead-of-rescuer scenario" is common. It killed 103 would-be rescuers in Australia between 1992 and 2010, and 81 people in New Zealand between 1980 and 2012. A study of drownings in Turkey found 88 cases in which 114 would-be rescuers drowned during their attempts to rescue a primary drowning victim.

    Amy Zoll: A Two Apologizes

    Dear Intense Relationships of a Lifetime,

    This is a letter of apology to those of you who I thought needed my love, wisdom, advice, help, etc. Please forgive the arrogance of my thinking that I knew what you needed. I didn’t consciously manipulate you, I thought what I was feeling was sincere.

    It is only now, after years of painful repetitions, grace, gentle therapy, and the wisdom of the Enneagram, that I dare look at the truth—how I was meeting my needs through you. I can now see what you all had in common that triggered my own compulsive behavior.

    Many of you were an 8, 6, 4 or sister 2. Often we shared a common spiritual, philosophical or social ideal, but not always. Sometimes, this was where I thought you needed my guidance—ahh! Most of you had what I perceived as big energy, strength and intensity. You were lots less dependent on what others thought of you than I was. Often others found your behavior outrageous. I could be the one to understand and interpret you. Because people liked and trusted me, I could be useful to you in implementing your agenda, ie: starting schools, finding clients for your professional practice, etc. I could listen to your story over and over again. I could feel what you had missed as a child. Sometimes a spring of love would well up inside me, flow into all your empty spaces and fill me up. If you were in pain, I felt that pain in myself. I wanted to bring you into my circle of warmth. I didn’t want you to be out there alone anymore. I could sense what you needed me to be and I could become that.

    As we connected, the energy surged in me. When I would feel a change in you—the doubting or hard to reach one, I was energized. In your needing me, I found my face. I was worth something and you would take care of me. I lived in your eyes. That’s where I went to find myself. If I looked there and I found trust and you still needed me, then I found my sense of well-being again. When that was gone, I felt panic and a desperate longing to fix it.

    Inevitably, I was shocked by how much you really did need because I had thought you were the powerful one. I guess none of us are all that strong and independent behind those defenses. I felt overwhelmed, I couldn’t breathe. I felt controlled and manipulated. I had wanted you to see ME. Instead, I was trapped in who you needed me to be—not who I really was. I wanted to be free.

    Some of you knew all along what was happening but danced anyway with your own projections. Sometimes we learned a lot from each other. I learned a lot about myself from you. I hope some of what came through me was genuine love and help.

    You have expressed what I have not felt safe to feel or express without risk of abandonment. In fact, for example, I didn’t think I had rage inside me or loneliness or sadness, etc. I have unconsciously tried to take care of myself by giving you what I wanted.

    For many of our types, it seems selfish to think we should try to meet our own needs. I am beginning to see that for me, in doing so, I will be lifting a burden off others like you—for starters.

    Moving closer to the real thing.

    A Two Apologizes - Enneagram Monthly


    Are Twos thrilled to hear that they are Twos? At least my Twos hate that topic for obvious reasons, they didn’t learn to say no, they didn’t learn to stop being exploited by family and strangers, and they are bad friends because needy people have always priority.

    Some recommendations nevertheless:

    You should also ask yourself whether teacher is the right career for you as an introvert. You must deal with groups of children and teachers all the time, which is draining enough, but you are also a perfectionist who wants to do justice to all. INFJ teachers are often highly considered, but I fear that you will be burned out, your development will stagnate and your martyrdom will be disfunctional for your students. One-on-one interactions like counselor may be a better choice. Just saying. Because you chose the house that doesn’t allow strangers. And because I know INFJs who changed their career path for said reason and are much happier now.

    I daydream so much though to avoid the problems of the real world.
    That’s great! Your inner world is part of the ‘real’ world, unfortunately it is already too much invaded by the expectations and needs from people around you. Your daydreams are the findings of your advisers, and you should implement them sooner than later!

    Stop hiding your personality. Take inspiration from the Four.

    Be authentic in your communication.

    Stop hiding your needs. Let your own projects flourish!

    Accept conflict as a necessity. Set boundaries: Create, state, maintain.

    Accept the autonomy of others and keep your suckers off.

    Reduce your standards (saint, martyr) and raise the standards for others significantly.

    Spend more time with people who a) are really important for you and who b) don’t need your help.

  3. #3



    Six Twos: “After Everything I've Done for You (That You Didn't Ask For)”


    I would not take the ring, because [b]it seems[b] like a selfish goal and the love would feel fake.
    The second house you may design using your imagination - literally your dream house - it is located in a very secluded location and no one is allowed to visit this house except you and your immediate family.
    Probably that I’m too private about myself. Yes, I am interested in others, and willing to listen to and care for others, but even my friends will admit that I can be too private and cryptic at times haha. Ugh, I find it hard to open up to others.

    What motivates me to have that house is that I can “dream up” of different sections of the house that can be fitting for different personalities of my family and not just myself. Everyone, myself included, will be happy!
    No, your prison house will suffocate wife and children! Do you really think that you can be everything for them, and that they (and you) don’t need friends? Of course I understand that introverts want to nun themselves, and perhaps all the required interactions at school are already too much for you as an introvert.

    I value deep connections, but it’s hard for me to open up
    The question is whether deep connections have priority for you.


    Beatrice Chestnut: Type Two Subtypes

    Self-Preservation Twos seek to gain approval through being charming and youthful. Less oriented to giving and more burdened by helping, they charm others into liking them as an unconscious effort to get people to take care of them. More self-indulgent, playful, and irresponsible than the other two Twos, they are more fearful and ambivalent about connecting with others.

    Social Twos seek to gain approval from others through being powerful, competent, and influential. More a powerful, leader type of person, they take charge of things and play to a larger audience as a way of proving their value.

    One-to-One Twos gain approval through being generous and attractive. They emphasize their personal appeal and promises of support to make others like them and do things for them—this is a more emotional, passionate Two who seduces specific individuals.

    https://beatricechestnut.com/2017/08...ion-enneagram/
    https://www.personalitycafe.com/enne...ou-relate.html


    9 x 2 wings = 18 types with one wing; 9 x 3 instincts = 27 types with one dominant instinct or one instinct order of three; 9 x 6 instincts = 54 types with one instinct order of six; 18 x 3 instincts = 54 types with one wing and one dominant instinct or one instinct order of three; 18 x 6 instincts = 108 types with one wing and one instinct order of six.

    In the absence of of elaborate profiles for – at least – 27 types I see the three ‘instincts’ just as a three-type taxonomy.




    1: Good at / 2: Conflicted. Work on it! / 3: If not good at it only work on it only if you need to. Outsource it!

    1: Preserving (sp), 2: Navigating (soc), 3: Transmitting (sx) Domain
    1: Navigating (soc), 2: Transmitting (sx), 3: Preserving (sp) Domain
    1: Transmitting (sx), 2: Preserving (sp), 3: Navigating (sx) Domain
    (Often mistakenly see themselves as Transmitting / Navigating)

    Enneagram Learning International




    (Soc)




    The confrontation with the least preferred instinct is far more instructive than the usual short definitions.

    For me (sx/sp/soc) the soc types in the video are truly exotic, living in a different world. The (sp) preoccupation with food is funny but useful. But for me only the sx type speaks truth.

    Enjoy!
    AzureMustang thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Wow, thank you so much for your well-thought out and in-depth response. So, at first I thought the idea of Pride being my vice was ridiculous...and then I read everything you wrote and watched the videos and I do feel rather speechless. Two years ago, my friend and I were discussing about the seven heavenly virtues and the seven deadly sins and I remember him stating that he thought I was most guilty of the sin of pride, despite being a humble person. Even when I was a child and teenager, my Grandmother always said to me: "You are your own worst enemy."

    I picked up The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile and I found relating to many of the Type Two descriptions. The text was not kidding when Type Twos are shocked to find out that Pride is their vice.

    In the video with the professor standing in front of the green chalk board, I really related to the notion when he said that Type Twos had a vivid imaginative in their youth (Introverted Intuition), and I do want to bring my creative side to this world; it's a driving urge I have!

    I will continue looking into the Type Two in order to become the best I can be. I believe I am a 2w1.

    Thank you for your insight and the time you spent into analyzing my responses.


 

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