Hi! I don't know my exact enneagram type and wing (4,5)

Hi! I don't know my exact enneagram type and wing (4,5)

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  • 1 Post By strawberryfields4ever
  • 1 Post By Potne Theron

This is a discussion on Hi! I don't know my exact enneagram type and wing (4,5) within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Hello! I'm new here so I want to begin with the most important question in every enneagram forum. I can't ...

  1. #1

    Hi! I don't know my exact enneagram type and wing (4,5)

    Hello!
    I'm new here so I want to begin with the most important question in every enneagram forum.
    I can't define my enneagram type/w. I had an enneagram class in college this year and I went to some workshops and all, I also took the RHETI test, but I'm placed between the 4, 5 :( And I really know that I have a lot of traits in them.
    What can I say about myself? Well, that I have panic disorder, anxiety and hematophobia since I was 9 years old or something, and that's why I always thought I could be a 6. I learned to live with fear everyday since the first time I started fainting.
    But besides that disorder (my father has the same problem), I have a tradition, a story of feeling like a misfit. Since I was in elementary school, even after I completed highschool I felt like someone weird that people never wanted to know. The other girls were cute and used to make jokes about me and laughed because I was pale, or skinny, or just because they said I had unusual tastes in music, I was in reading, in filmaking and all, always alone and I had nothing in common to share with them so that made me unpopular.
    The worst of all was that I had good grades and I was in poetry and history competition groups and won some prizes and everything just became awful.
    And in home it wasn't different. My mother only wanted me to be an engineer or lawyer or something like that, and pushed me to take extra math classes and science tests and that never worked because I never liked that subjects. She always felt disappointed because I did painting and those things and since I was a child she said that were all useless things. She was the dominant and powerful, strict person in my home, and my father is a very aloof and unconcerned person that just didn't care anything and even allowed that my mother treated him like crap always, he never argued or something.
    So in my teens I was hiding myself and I was studying a lot, getting A grades, and I acted like -I didn't want to have friends because the people were vane and frivolous for me- and I was feeling that if I looked enough deep and interesting as I was (I didn't knew I was) someone "better", above than the rest, someone "higher" would see that in me and he would choose me and everyone would be ashamed and would feel vane because they never accepted me.
    That was perdition, because I never had a boyfriend before and at 18 in college, was the first time someone was interested in me! And he was someone beautiful, interesting and even intelectual, and many girls were after him, and he was "perfect" and he wanted to date me. He was intrigued and wanted to know what I liked, he was the first person that thought that I was cool because I like to read, writting and to make videos and he was impressive of my music taste and sense of style. He said I was special, unique, eccentric, eclectic and all. So I as feeling euphoric in those months, I was feeling like on coke or something.
    But it wasn't a dream, it wasn't a fantasy, it was a lie, because he had a girlfriend and he almost married and I was a secret mistress. When I found out, the drama, the explosion, the violence began, I was in rage, mad and seeking revenge. I hated him, he betrayed me, he lied to me, he was a fake person.
    It took me years to realize that the brutal reason why I hated him, why it hurted me so much, wasn't that he lied, was not that he didn't love me: the worst thing was that he "choosed" a regular, a boring, a common person to be with, and not me: "the special". That was the fact. That the real girlfriend, and the next girl he began to date inmediatly after me, were ordinary or normal women.
    And when I knew that about myself, I forgave him and after 3 years, we are now friends, and have no tension.
    But now I find myself in a pursuit for someone like that, someone who could choose me and that want to see what is hidden in me.
    Potne Theron thanked this post.



  2. #2

    You seem to be either a sexual 5w4 or a sexual 4w5. I first thought of the 458 tritype ("the scholar"), but you might be the "Contemplative" 459 (source: Fauvres terminology).

    To know if you are a 4 or a 5, you need to check the dominant couple fixation/passion in yourself: fantasizing/envy (4) or retention/avarice (5). Are you in search first of Identity (4) or Mastery (5)? Would you define yourself as an intuitive and sensitive person (4), or rather an intelligent and perceptive person (5)? (source: Riso&Hudson)

    If your feelings and emotions (Heart center) define who you are, then you are likely a 4. If not, you are more likely a 5 (Head Center). 4w5 can be very intellectual, but feelings remain central to their identity.

    Considering your picture, your look like a 4 (source: my humble opinion ;-)

  3. #3

    Thanks for your answer.
    I think that my fixation is in fantasy and envy, because I always compared myself to other girls, since I was a child, I wondered why I was not popular and attractive as some classmates. Why they had so much friends around them?
    I thought that they were more beautiful and outgoing and that people love that traits. Even now that I'm at my 20's, I often look other girls and think they look better, they are more attractive to men and they dress better than me. And I invest time and money in creating a style, a look that made me remarkable or even flashy, and well that's why I work in graphic arts and fashion.
    But even with all that, I'm introverted, I don't speak too much, I don't like parties, I felt bored once and I never went to another, I think they are a waste of time, even workmeetings and everything.
    I'm not expressive with my feelings, I'm not romantic, sweet or affectionate even with my partners and family, I can't take the hearts, the love statements and that things, that just make me feel uncomfortable.
    Before take a decision, I always do some research, and I ask an expert (always), I spent time reading, googling ISBN resources, even I go to library to know about a subject, conflict or task and after hours and days of research I can make a decision.
    My picture says I'm a 4? xDDD

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by strawberryfields4ever View Post
    Thanks for your answer.
    I think that my fixation is in fantasy and envy, because I always compared myself to other girls, since I was a child, I wondered why I was not popular and attractive as some classmates. Why they had so much friends around them?
    I thought that they were more beautiful and outgoing and that people love that traits. Even now that I'm at my 20's, I often look other girls and think they look better, they are more attractive to men and they dress better than me. And I invest time and money in creating a style, a look that made me remarkable or even flashy, and well that's why I work in graphic arts and fashion.
    But even with all that, I'm introverted, I don't speak too much, I don't like parties, I felt bored once and I never went to another, I think they are a waste of time, even workmeetings and everything.
    I'm not expressive with my feelings, I'm not romantic, sweet or affectionate even with my partners and family, I can't take the hearts, the love statements and that things, that just make me feel uncomfortable.
    Before take a decision, I always do some research, and I ask an expert (always), I spent time reading, googling ISBN resources, even I go to library to know about a subject, conflict or task and after hours and days of research I can make a decision.
    My picture says I'm a 4? xDDD
    Hi @strawberryfields4ever , yes, 4s compare usually themselves to others in some ways. The fact you are introverted is more directly related to MBTI (i.e. cognitive style) than Enneagram. You might be INFP for instance.

    Not liking parties, casual conversations, not being very expressive of your feelings, etc. is to be related with 5 and it is not incompatible with 4w5. As to the multiple research frenzy ;-) it is to be related with 5 or 6. You might have a 5w6 head fix in your tritype (6w5 is another possibility).

    Regarding the picture, there are techniques to type by facial archetype and microexpressions. They have been developed by Katherine and David Fauvre. Look at their Facebook page (https://fr-fr.facebook.com/Enneagram.Explorations) and Pinterest page (https://www.pinterest.com/enneagram/). Sterlin Mosley and Aaron Addonizio are professionals too. They were trained by the Fauvres among others. Here is their Pinterest Page:https://www.pinterest.com/insightllc/)


 

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