A few months ago I discovered the enneagram, and still feel quite new to it, so I was hoping someone could help clarify something for me.
I believe I have a 7w6 head type (a few people IRL agree), but the wing is very strong. I struggle with various types of anxiety, OCD, and several experiences that make me wary of other people. So I guess I'm doubting my type. Looking up the differences between 6 and 7, I found this on https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/m...fying-6-and-7/
I get anxious really easily, mostly when it comes to being social, but I can't tell if that's mental or part of my personality. I don't actually fret about anything in the future unless it threatens to take away my freedom or peace, and I catch myself saying "I try not to think about it" a lot. However, I tend to have reoccurring nightmares about whatever is bothering me.Sixes and Sevens can be mistyped when there is confusion between main type and wing: that is, between a Six with a Seven-wing and a Seven with a Six-wing. Both are Thinking types, and both are driven by anxiety, although they cope with their anxious feelings in strikingly different ways. Sixes tend to react to their anxiety by fretting and becoming more anxious.
But... On that note I do come up with plenty of (unlikely) scenarios in my head to worry about, but, this too could be part of my anxiety disorders.
Really not much like this.They may react counterphobically by reacting against their fears, but react they do.
I do tend to be more outwardly pessimistic than optimistic (being pessimistic is kind of engrained in my culture, and I do find a rather dark humour in it. Other times it just depresses me.) but it really depends on the situation.Further, anxiety tends to make Sixes more pessimistic and negative about themselves and their prospects.
(BTW, my main type is 4w5, that might make a difference, too)
Self doubt, yes. Suspicious of the motives of others is a little more tricky. I tend to only want to see the best in others, but through life experiences I notice when someone is using manipulation tactics and/or lying. I was always blissfully unaware of ulterior motives before this. It makes me angry, but if the person stops it (even only for just a few days or so) my first instinct is to jump right back in and be trusting again. I have to consciously fight this. Sometimes it doesn't work.They can be full of self-doubt, while being suspicious of the motives of others.
Here I run into an other problem. I get bored easily.Sevens, by contrast are extremely optimistic, and react to anxiety by looking for enjoyable distractions.
I try not to show it, but I do. Enjoyable distractions (amusement parks, dances, people who enjoy that type of fun, ect.) are either nonexistent or watered down in my corner of the world. What there is to do, I have grown bored of. The rest either feels fake, dangerous, or goes against my values. As I practically live for fun, this makes me quite sad and angry.
However, I do get lost in my art. A lot.
Mostly, I keep my self-doubt private, and I've been told I sometimes ease the tension of the situation through humour. Though other times I think my joking around makes things worse, I stop when I see that's what is happening. I am a terrible tease when it comes to the ones closest to me, and I usually know (and regrettably enjoy) just how far I can push the envelope without making someone upset.Sevens suppress their self-doubt as much as possible, and try to keep everything upbeat.
But, again, I am a 4, so it's not like dealing with negative emotions is really foreign to me.
Except anger. I can't deal with that.
Uh... Both. In a way. I tell people I'm fine, but on the inside, I'm usually wallowing in self-pity.Sevens tend to deny the dark corners of their souls, sixes tend to get stuck in them.
Responsibility...Sixes, however, have a heightened sense of responsibility and do not allow themselves to “goof off” until all of their obligations have been met.
I feel responsibility is just... so far out of my element. It feels like there is nothing responsible in me and I have to fight my whole being just to accept obligations. It doesn't make me anxious, at least consciously. It feels like vicious self-denial. It's to the point where I either get extremely angry/passive-aggressive if someone pushes it on me. (I know this is not a good thing, and I'm trying to work on it.)
I don't understand it, either.
However, I work my best doing little things throughout the time given me to complete a task, then doing the remaining 95% at the last possible moment.
Somewhat spontaneous, and expectations are the worst.Sevens, for better or for worse, are far more spontaneous, and resist having too many expectations placed on them.
They make me mad.
YES. I deeply need freedom to come and go as I please. This is something I value greatly. YES.They want to be free to come and go as they please, and find the Six’s persistent sense of commitment potentially limiting and dull.
Commitment is fine, it's not something I go looking for, but I suppose it all depends on the thing I've committed to. My level of commitment often sways as the situation changes as well.
I seen some people like this, but I know I can be too easily viewed as this too.Sixes tend to find the Seven’s lifestyle flighty and irresponsible.
Guidelines are nice to have in life as long as they're not so strict it feels smothering. And we all need a bit of structure in our lives, whether we know it or not (I'm speaking out of general life knowledge, not necessarily how I feel). But in the grand scheme of things, I do tend to quietly resist and resent them if I feel imposed upon, which, to be quite honest, doesn't take all that much.In short, sixes seek out structure and guidelines: Sevens resist both.
So, what do you guys think? The descriptions are rather vague, but I wanted something to go by. Sorry this turned out so long, but I wanted to be thorough.