Go for it. If you can find a better type fit than the 9w8 I have then post your thoughts as to why.
Anyone arguing in here over the top will be hacked into little bits and sent to your mother.
What age range are you in?
Any disorders or conditions we should know about?
Addison's disease. It has impacted on mental health in a couple of ways ie depression hits for a day or so here and there and there (it's one of the symptoms but I don't pay it much heed apart from being really annoying) I have a thing where I disconnect from the autopilot of mood and follow how I think I should behave instead (or I would have killed people by now).There are two ways of dealing: I remove myself from it by ignoring the crap out of it and soldiering on or I take a day of self indulgence in sadness and watch movies where people soldier on against odds ie 300 (tonight we dine in hell) so ignoring it by proxy. It's diminished acuity somewhat. I was really smart, quick and witty and now I'm slow to think and sometimes confused when my levels are low. It's affected most parts of me and dynamics have altered but those are probably most salient to this.
1. What do you think your life is about? What drives you in life? This can be something like a goal or a purpose, or anything else that comes to mind.
I think I'm just an animal driven by a need to live and try and see my line doesn't fail. Har! I'm not ambitious. I'm interested in doing what I want, being free, being independent. I hate being told what to do or being manipulated to do the right thing because I have my own mind already geared towards responsibility, doing the right thing and modifying my own behaviour accordingly. I'm inclusive and concerned with justice even though I rarely offer thoughts to arguments concerning justice. I'd rather do things to benefit others rather than sit on a thistle and whine about it.
2. What were you like as a kid?.
I was easy going in some respects until someone told me what to do then I simply woudn't do it. I could be asked to do something and happily do it though. I would daydream a lot, I was creative (won art prizes in school). Hated team sports but enjoyed skating, bmxing and go-carting. I always came second in the 100 metre sprints even when I had the edge and could win I wouldn't and it never worried me at all. My quietness was sometimes misconstrued as shyness and I was precocious. Adults always loved me because I was cute and said alarming and hilarious things once in a while in front of a crowd. I'd often go missing (wandering off) I was found in a suitcase asleep on one of those occasions ut mostly I'd find a place to sit and read. I was sick with asthma a lot and hospitalised on many occasions.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents. Does anything stand out about the way you interacted?
My mother threw anything she could at me in terms of books, resources like art supplies. She was clever with me and I was less of a drama because of her ways to distract me when I dug in, and her treating me with respect. She would drive me interesting places when I had mild attacks of asthma. She was supportive and we never really fought at all. My father was not always around but when he was he was a pain in the arse. We'd clash hideously. He'd tell me what to do I'd dig in and refuse to do it. I'd sometimes rise to the challenge and do the opposite. It was more obvious in my teens when he was trying to get me interested in modelling for a living so I shaved my head and got a tattoo....I became a punk afterwards because most of my old "friends" rejected my "look". My mother said my teen years were living in a parallel universe (I did have an early teens trauma though).
4. What values are important to you? What do you hope to avoid doing or being?
I avoid being an arsehole and being the hand grenade I once was (I sometimes say I'm a recovering shrew). I don't necessarily need others around 24/7 but I thoroughly enjoy catchups with friends. I work at friendships and try to be supporting when I can. I strive to be as straight with people as possible with a no harm factor. I've learned how to be diplomatic even from being here and dealing with the underbelly of PerC. I haven't had that much of a filter throughout life (It's part of the charm but sometimes people don't get it and take my evil humour literally).
5. Aside from phobias, are there any fears that characterized your childhood? Have they continued into the present day, or not, and if not, how have you dealt with them?
Can't really say if I've ever had fears apart from rats. They give me the heebies I got pet mice to try and deal with that but then realised I didn't really like them either so I set them free. I've always been an optimist yet a cynic at the same time. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
I was raped in my early teens but it did not really make me fear it happening again. Whenever something difficult comes up in my life I withdraw, regroup and try to get back as if nothing happened to affect me. It did put me off relationships until I was in my 20s even though I had a fair amount of interest in me. I withdrew and looked at myself to see if there was something I could alter and do better to avoid it in the future. There was only a couple of defining moments where I can say about the rape where I was frightened and it passed quickly. I faced my rapist around 6 years later and beat him at a game of pool and told him exactly how he affected me and told him he belonged in the gutter. It went well....he seemed taken aback and I had the catharsis I needed. When I heard he had died of an overdose years later I just felt sad for him that he might not have had a great life. I did a couple of reckless things during those somewhat dark years like hitching up the east coast of Aus but it wasn't out of fear. It was more a freedom thing. Thinking back it was just a bit stupid. It may have been after watching Easy Rider or something.
6. a.) How do you see yourself?
Just another person in the world. Nothing too spectacular. I've often been described as enigmatic by my mother and friends, maybe I am a bit.
b.) How do you want others to see you?
I don't think I have power over that but I do hope they understand why I do things. Ever the optimist, me.
c.) What do you dislike the most in other people?
I don't like bullies. I don't like feeling trapped into acting because of other people's emotions I'd rather step back and follow my own course if I'm going to act. I think I've established that I don't like being told what to do. I don't like people who cut others off from saying sad or real things. I l like to hear real struggles and real thoughts rather than those of a controlled, contrived group setting where some imagined politeness trumps inclusiveness.
7. Which habit do you most automatically act on? Rank the following habits from most to least automatic, on a scale of 1 (most) to 3 (least).
a.) Work for personal gain with more concern for self than for others. 3
b.) Strive for a sense of tranquility in yourself and the world around you 2
c.) Decide what is right for the betterment of something or someone else. 1
8. Where does the wandering mind take you? What provokes this?
To music. I can be talking to someone and want to answer in lyrics from a song or hum a guitar riff because it feels that way. To stories and ideas for stories and how I could implement them and extrapolate. I have no idea what provokes it. It's almost unconscious.
9.What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I have freedom from expectations yet I don't shy from responsibility. Untenable situations where I am tied up and gagged (metaphorically).
10. Let's talk about emotions. Explain what might make you feel the following, how they feel to you or how you react to the emotion:
I react when I'm treated like I'm expected to knuckle under and play subordinate to a fool. I will play equal responsibilities and even take charge if I have to (but not out of desire to be on top). This has been a little bit of a sticking point in relationships, being a woman and not accepting what the role might entail. I'm not that traditional and my choices haven't been for smart men, or smart choices generally.
b.) shame I rarely feel shame about anything. I feel guilt about somethings but I get over it fairly quick.
c.) anxiety. I don't really feel anxious about a lot of things. I don't like having toxic people in my life meaning to undermine or threaten me, people or things near to me I don't really like thinking about them but if I do it's with an aim to eradicate them from my life.
11. Describe how you respond to the following:
a.) stress. I usually don't really know I'm under that much stress until I start to lose things, forget stuff and have stupid accidents like jamming my fingers in a car door. Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency) is made much worse by stress so I have to be mindful to drink more fluids and sleep a little more. I'm irritated as fuck but I manually override irritation by doing things I think I should be doing (so I often confuse whether I'm under stress or not because I'm often overriding).
b.) negative unexpected change. I generally move with the flow and treat like a problem to be solved. Great in a crisis but then I have to be aware of stress....and yeah, already addressed that. I tend to joke about negative things as a means to lessen the effects (it works for me).
c.) conflict. I don't pick fights with people but I don't shy away from them either. If I've ignored someone who is picking a fight it's because I can see there will be no resolution and that it's going to be a time sink rather than a meeting that I or they can learn anything from and I avoid them. So I choose battles I've kicked people out of my house rather than continue with bullshitty arguments. A couple of people have landed on my step outside before they knew what had happened. Never to be talked to again.
12. a.) What kind of role are you naturally inclined to take in a group? Why? I've a tendency to be the joker once I get passed my initial reserve. I don't take life that seriously (although there have been times when I've been so sick I an't be bothered and sit like an observer). I also take on the role of the responsible one if there are drinks involved. I don't drink much. Also there are times when I've been the confidant. I keep secrets.
b.) If put in power, how do you behave? Why? I don't ask of people what I wouldn't/haven't been prepared to do myself. With power there is responsibility.
c.) Do you tend to struggle with others who have authority over you? Why? Not really but there have been times I've not suffered fools gladly. I usually quit if the boss is horrible.
13. What do you see or notice in others that most people don't? I see people's vulnerabilities but I don't exploit them.
14. Comment on your relationship with trust. I give trust until it is breached. Then I don't
15. Briefly: What religious and/or political beliefs do you have? Do you think they influenced your responses in this questionnaire?
I'm Athiest with Pagan leanings. I doubt it.
OMG I'm not answering any more questions from the questionnaire.
Ask me stuff!