sp/sx emerges from the fact that,while i care for the intimate as an extension of myself..i see my independence as shattering that proclivity with merciless dearth and wisdom..i could almost smell the stimulation (like a flower slowly in bloom with all seasons just before your eyes) and feel the pulse of its effect on my etheric body (so to speak) with things ranging from music to people
...but i keep a distance for the fear that it will unmask me in a violently retarding way,shifting my focus from my depth of self..toward a quality of being that simply isnt managable..desecrating the delicate balance of my state as an independent.
it isnt that i model myself ferociously on a social bias either..though i am sensitive to the feelings of those in my immediate reach,"networking" isnt quite for me.
the catch...i have off periods where-in the intensity simply isnt there,and i fell like an abjeted shell without any harmony of strength to lean upon...that is my thinking of Sp/So... @Swordsman of Mana
i wonder what your take on this may be....in particular...as your experience is well met.
describe your relationship with sexuality and relationships. are they typically areas of discomfort for you? are they "sensual pleasures" you feel more comfortable indulging?
in general
1st instinct: "I crave it!"
2nd instinct (if strong): "I enjoy it"
2nd instinct (if weak): "meh..."
3rd instinct" "could we talk about something else?"
I enjoy the company of others, but I tend to relinquish myself toward solitary stimulation. I do not care for interference from others...as my frequency of self is at a pitch that is not to be even remotely ignored.
I've Been with others only to discover that I prefer my own company, though it pains me at times...
I wonder.... Sp/sx ascetic perhaps?
I can do without sex and relationships... But this is usually manifested as a bidding for sexual control...to keep her where I want her..the intensity can go flat.. But it is very much there.
Usually though I keep even.. Never allowing anyone to "see me sweat" any intensity is thwarted and I feel as though I've died...usually wishing for suicide as a better accomplishment
given this, definitely either Sp/Sx with weak Sx or Sp/So
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