Brand new to Enneagram. I took a test, I got 4. Read the description. Not happening.
Too lazy to read the other descriptions, so I'm just going to narrow it down by looking at the types PersonalityCafe thinks I might be, rather than reading them ALL.
If you think I relate to more than one type, please tell me so I can look at them both.
Here's the questionnaire and my answers:
1. What drives you in life? What do you look for? I suppose finding deeper meaning. I see the world as a corrupt hellhole. I want to dig in deeper. Basically, I want to know.
2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
At my death, I want people to remember me as someone strong, or just not remember me at all. I don't have any set 'goals' to accomplish, I'm not very ambitious. I would like to refine my art skill, if that qualifies as an accomplishment.
3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I want to avoid being:
Pathetic. Pitiful. Weak. Consumed by money (if I ever get wealthy.) Stupid. Incapable/incompetent.
I'm sure I have values. But they aren't black and white enough to be put into words.
4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
I know it is childish to say I have no fears, but I really can't think of any. I try to avoid the feeling of fear altogether.
5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I want to be seen as someone who can take care of them self. Other than that, they can have their own opinions of me and I don't really care how they see me.
I find it difficult to describe myself. I am me. I would like to believe I am sturdy and intelligent, and one who can endure pain.
6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when people I love want to depend and rely on me, and when someone says "I love you" and actually means it. And I can tell if they mean it or if their lying.
I feel my worst when someone lies to me. I generally know when people lie to me, and it makes me feel as if I am not worthy of their truth. Also, when someone knows they have power over me and they abuse that power, or flaunt it. Everyone knows I hate being bossed around and having my decisions made for me.
7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.
a. In my mind, when I am angry, I deny any accountability for whatever is making me angry. It is hard to describe my anger beyond that because when I get angry, it just overcomes me and becomes me. When I am mad, I become anger, I guess. I rage. I throw things. I hurt people. And everyone is scared.
b. On the rare occasion that I feel ashamed, I go to anger.
c. On the occasion that I feel anxiety, I go to anger.
8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a. When I am under an actual state of stress (and it's not just anger) I go in my room and draw. I just want to be away from my mind and other people. Sometimes I will try to distract myself by having intense sex or eating a lot.
b. When an unexpected change comes up, I usually become stressed and withdrawn.
c. If someone comes up and tries to cause mindless conflict, I choose to ignore it. If the conflict is meaningful or threatening, then I will take a stand and fight.
9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a. I respect authority unless they give me a reason not to. I prefer not having any authorities, and if I am in a situation where I can avoid them, I do. I would like to be my own authority and have no one above me.
b. Like the way I feel about authority; I would just simply not like anyone to have power over me.
10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
Life so far has been a battle. I don't really have an overall outlook on humanity.