To get rid of my ennea-doubts.

To get rid of my ennea-doubts.

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20
Thank Tree41Thanks

This is a discussion on To get rid of my ennea-doubts. within the What's my Enneagram type? forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Main Questions 1. What drives you in life? What do you look for? Right now, I really don't know because ...

  1. #1

    To get rid of my ennea-doubts.

    Main Questions

    1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
    Right now, I really don't know because I have a lot of things in mind. I can say that I want to finish college, read a lot of books, have professional experiences and contacts for my career in politics, which I want to become a Master on Government or Public Administration. I also want to provide my parents with a better home and, if I become a father, to be an excellent figure for my children. I can say that I look for excellence and success.

    At the same time, while I'm very competitive and ambitious (traits that I consider very dangerous double edged swords), there's also moments in life where I just want to live a calm, peaceful life with friends and family. No need to better myself, to compete or to be in constant pressure. I love peacefulness, truthfulness and a joyful environment. There are some times when I want to work as a fast food cashier or just a librarian. But my monetary and personal ambitions stop me from that. I want to make changes in the world, through politics and its practice.

    I also want to develop and excellent attitude and a healthy personality. That started when I read Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. Despite being a product of its time, it showed to importance of making good and productive habits in life and making rational decisions.

    I yearn for security and strong opinions too. My career in politics deals with a lot of ideologies that my peers adopt and defend critically, but I just can't fit with any of them. I think that ideologies aren't best applied for the entire world but country to country, each of them presenting particular economic, social, cultural and political issues. For such, I want and do read a lot of books, seek a lot of information, pay attention to classes and do everything to form my opinions, and defend them the best I can.

    I can say that success drives me, but also the desire to live peacefully and calmly as well as a desire to make right and appropiate decisions.



    2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

    I hope to work in government or NGOs and design projects for poor people. I hope to become an excellent human being, professional, friend, son and partner. I hope to experience the most of life and use that experience for productive ends. I hope to make theories about administration and government that will help people. I hope that these accomplishments make me happy and others happy.

    3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

    I avoid envy, since I tend to be envious and competitive. I love personal validation and praise, but I don't want that to be my main drive towards achieving my goals. I want to avoid anxiety, to second guess myself, to think way too much things. I want to be honest but not blunt, to act appropiatedly. I want to be a good person to people, but I don't want my goodness to be taken advantage of. I want to lead an active life, but my energy levels are low. I need to sleep a lot, and I hate that.

    Responsibility, commitment, hard work, confidence, cooperation, trustfulness, persistence, friendship, solidarity, intelligence, tolerance, humbleness and openess are my core values.

    4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?

    Not doing the right decisions: that what I choose to do, the values I decide to live and the people that I choose to get together will just harm me and destroy me.

    Not being able to correct my mistakes. I am often harsh, imprudent and somewhat insecure, which makes me get into hot water a lot. I want to be able to ammend my mistakes and do good.

    Not being independent. I want to take the course of my life, have financial autonomy and being able to deal with people and the world to my benefit and other's benefit.

    5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
    I want people to see me as a good person, a good professional and a good friend. I want people to depend on me, be seen as trustable and responsible. I want people to enjoy all the good attitudes and traits I have and help me correct all those that are not appropiate or right. I want people to think of me not as a rival, but as an ally, someone who knows will help them. I want to be respected for my knowledge, actions and judgement. I want to be the voice of reason and the peaceful resolution to conflicts.

    I see myself as an ambitious person, with a lot of skills and abilities to achieve my goals. I see myself as intelligent and capable, but often distracted, absent-minded and somewhat doubtful of my intelligence. I see myself as a very responsible, mature person, who does his best to act appropiatedly and keep to his promises. Point of fact, I value responsibility more than intelligence, because there are a lot of people who aren't particularly gifted, not even in social intelligence, but they have a drive to do things right that makes them overcome their obstacles. I see myself as an emotional person, sometimes my feelings difficulting my activities. I see myself as very naive and gullible, cause I haven't experienced a lot of things people my age have.

    But above all, I know that all my flaws will be corrected and my virtues will make me do great things in life. It's something I know will happen. I have confidence in my future.



    6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?

    What makes me feel best

    My determination.
    To have people who understands and supports me and viceversa.
    To know that I have developed myself and became a better person.
    Peacefulness and lack of conflict.
    When I sleep, because I love sleeping.
    To hang out with people, and being able to connect with them.
    To do something that I love and succeeding at it.
    To assert myself (cause I'm not THAT assertive).
    To be honest even at complicated times.
    Listening to music.
    Watching movies.
    Reading books.

    What makes me feel worst

    My sloth and lack of drive sometimes.
    My envy.
    Some people's competitive and utilitarian attitudes.
    Lack of responsability.
    Failing at something because I didn't do a lot of effort or not doing what was right.
    Second guessing myself.
    Seeing all sides of a problem and not taking a stance.
    Impatience and lack of tolerance.
    Hypocrisy.
    People being rude and blunt using honesty as an excuse for their immature ways.
    Any form of explotation.


    7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

    Anger
    I don't get angry easily, mostly it's shown through irritation. I don't like to be angry, cause when I am I become very explosive. Sometimes I use my anger or indignation towards goals in my life. I fear that my anger will destroy people, or that people will destroy me for expressing my anger. I want the appropiate use of anger, which I think is through assertiveness.

    Shame
    While I'm mostly shameless or counter-shame, my most common way of showing shame is through shyness. I am very extroverted and all of that, but there are times that I don't know how to approach certain people, so I become shy, fearing that I will be disliked for stupid reasons. However, there are times that I just don't give a shit and act the way I do with people, and if they don't like, I just distance myself and that's it. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I also want to be respected, taken into account and be considered important and contributing, I'd be ashamed and angered if such things wouldn't be present in people, but if they do, I just walk away.

    Anxiety

    This has been a big enemy in my life. Most of my life's problems comes when I don't know how to deal with everyday's issues. I am very open to suggestions, opinions and such, but that makes me doubt myself a lot. That's why I either investigate more and more on something or I just trust my instincts (something I have trouble to) and do what I have in my head. That makes me very cautious as well as very impulsive. I want to be independent and wise so I calm my anxieties and act.

    I see my anxiety coming in my family. I am an only child and I lived in a somewhat overprotected environment. I'm not that street smart or worldly wise, so that's why I behave anxiously, fearing that I will make some stupid mistake. I have inherited depression from my mom, and I have some symptoms of OCD, which further enhances my anxiety.

    I am also aware of how unattentive or distracted I can be, so that's a source of behaving anxiously and over alert sometimes.


    8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.

    Stress
    I hate it, absolutely hate it. Not even on the "small, healthy doses". If there's something I dislike is to be pressured. I want things to go calm and smoothly, and solving problems and challenges with such calm that will enhance my power. When there's stress I tend to put an adrenaline rush in myself, so I will not fall into deep and unproductive over-worrying and do some action. If there's a LOT of stress, then I seek for help, immediately.

    Unexpected change
    I don't like changes too, it angers me, especially when it's about commitments or responsiblities. I tend to get stressed for it, most of the times, so my reaction is the same as described above.

    But when I see positive unexpected changes, I do feel really good, and I tend to see much more possibilities to even better the changes that have happened.

    Conflict
    I also dislike it, cause I like everything to be peaceful and calm, but I accept it when if the situation demands it. For example, I will have fights with my parents and friends, but that's something that will surely happen. It's part of life to disagree, and deeply. So I take my stance and make a resolution as best as possible. If there's a conflict without any conciliation, then I think that problem ended and my interaction with that person too.

    But for example, if I ask someone a question, and they respond me angrily because they thought it was stupid, then I do become angry and demand some respect. I hate when people get angry for stupidities; but hey, people get angry for a myriad of reasons. So, it's very relative.

    9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?

    Authority
    I want to be an authority figure to people. I want to be respected, considered, valued and I want my judgement to be appreciated and fair. I respect people who exercise their authority that way, who are also good role models. I deeply resent people who abuse their power, who wants to value themselves with their positions. They lose authority to me because they lose my respect, and authority must come with respect.
    I tend to think that I can do better than them.

    Power
    It's essential to life to have power, to have the ability to do things. I want to have power and to put it into good pratice. I want my goals to be done with such power that they become magnanimous. I also desire wealth, knowledge and physical strength, that will make me do the right thing. Power without good judgement just sucks.

    10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?

    Life is something beautiful and approachable, and people have to experience it to its fullest potential. That's it, to experience every single thing out of it, and enjoy it exactly the way it is. There are tough moments, and people who live under horrendous circumstances which makes them resent their lives, but life is an interconnection of various elements that must support one each other. That is why all sciences and disciplines come, because we are aware that life is made of a fragile reunion of webs and webs of elements, and whose actions have an impact on everyone.

    Humanity is an element of life itself. Our actions have an effect on life and our rationality must be conducted to improve life for its maximum enjoyment. Just as animals use primarily their instincts to make life go round, we are blessed with our reason and knowledge, which is our tool for happiness.

    I don't think humanity is essentially evil. I know we are good, but we are sons of our time and circumstances, and we may do horrendous flaws due to that. But at the end of the day, it's up to us to see if we want to change. Not history, not anthropology, not genetics, but us.


    I'll answer the optional questions later, as I'm hurried hehehe.
    Last edited by jdmn; 04-16-2012 at 11:39 AM. Reason: grammar
    Wake and Sina thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Due to time constraints I didn't get all the way through it, but enough so to come to a conclusion that you're a 9w1. If there is a wing theory in effect you have probably the largest wing 1 I've seen.

    There was a lot of 1-like stuff in there, but you don't seem to find peace with stuff regarding anger. You don't view the 'right' decision the same way a 1 would.

    You aren't driven enough to be a 3 though you don't shy away from that kind of drive.

    I didn't see anything else in there. Probably the most favorable kind of type 9s I've seen to date.

  3. #3

    Beautiful answers:)
    very honest.

    First impressions after reading through it all:
    I see 6w7, 3w2/2w3 (def. not core) and 9 influence (as wing on a fix or fix). Could you read the 6, 3, 9 and 1 (just to see what you get from the 1w9 parts) descriptions here:

    1. Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

    2. the enneagram ...info from the underground
    jdmn thanked this post.

  4. Remove Advertisements
    PersonalityCafe.com
    Advertisements
     

  5. #4

    You are definitely not 9w1 as you claim. I would never really use the words "driven", "determined", "assertive" to describe me, even if my life looks successful on the surface.

    My guess is 6w5-3w2-9w1. I was going to say 3w2, but apparently @Boss doesn't think you could be core 3. You seem to talk a lot about competition and drive, though, IMO.
    Wake, jdmn and Steel Magnolia thanked this post.

  6. #5

    @jdmn , do you have a tendency to over-think things or look for problems and create sometimes unnecessary panic or do you have a stronger tendency to just believe things will work out and try to stay blind to problems?

    I wonder how subject sensitive the above question applies. We all have to take on responsibility, and therefore inner peace and a lack of care is not possible

    Quote Originally Posted by jdmn
    What makes me feel best

    My determination.
    Why? What do you intend to accomplish when asserting energy?


    To have people who understands and supports me and viceversa.
    Are you insecure with life? Why are others' support necessary?


    To know that I have developed myself and became a better person.
    What is the goal of becoming a better person? I don't think 9s are particularly judgmental about how they contribute in the grand scheme of things often, though they may care it's not their main focus as you have shown.


    Peacefulness and lack of conflict.
    9s feel the best when they're at rest, but peacefulness and lack of conflict doesn't necessarily mean that. That just means nothing to create problems for you. You've shown a desire to stay productive and moving forward, so maybe the 9 typing is out of the question. What do you make of the deeper meaning to this?


    When I sleep, because I love sleeping.
    Don't we all?


    To hang out with people, and being able to connect with them.
    Is this seeking security and having support as you mentioned in this post earlier? Or is it a matter of affection? It doesn't sound very 9-like because 9s are focused on just enjoying themselves and staying at peace.


    To do something that I love and succeeding at it.
    To not fail while enjoying yourself. It may sound a bit 3ish but you've shown a distancing from this drive of ambition, so you aren't as driven as a 3.


    To assert myself (cause I'm not THAT assertive).
    9s have averse reaction to this because it is just something that stresses them out. Safe to say that you don't take on anxiety because of your demanded to take action that you prefer not to like a 9. You feel good when you push through your anxieties of taking action and act boldly maybe?


    To be honest even at complicated times.
    Sounds rather 1ish more than anything. You've emphasized to desire to be good, and this maybe an expression of your goodness. As I mentioned my last post, you aren't a 1.

    I would say you're most likely a 6 after further review. I somehow missed obvious signs last night of this as I was in a rush. Glad I returned to it.
    jdmn, MBTI Enthusiast and Steel Magnolia thanked this post.

  7. #6

    Maybe you could ask for @Jawz 's help... he has also been spending time deciding between a core type of 3, 9, and 6.

    If he wasn't inactive....

  8. #7

    Ok... so we're thinking similar. I think my fixes are 3, 6 and 9 too. I'll first answer @Wake 's questions, then I'll go to @Boss ' suggestions (thanks for your compliment though :), I like your poetry on the ENFJ section!) and finally @MBTI Enthusiast 's

    Do you have a tendency to over-think things or look for problems and create sometimes unnecessary panic or do you have a stronger tendency to just believe things will work out and try to stay blind to problems?

    Both of them are very present. As I say, I am confident in my future, and I think I will solve all my problems one way or another. However, I think that destiny will not help me, and I have to take control of a determined thing or problem. I tend to over-think things and sometimes fall into desperation when I can't find answers, since I am pretty much impulsive and easily altered, though I'm very good at hiding it. I also tend to look for a lot of guidance, whether is through research or advice, and I tend to analyze it and see if it's useful or not. That's when I know I have a lot of sixish tendencies.

    As I believe that I must take the initiative to solve problems, and my anxiety issues, I think that over-thinking prevails over trusting that everything will end well.

    About my determination
    Why? What do you intend to accomplish when asserting energy?

    Most of my life I have been a rather lazy person, being the main reason my symptoms of depression inherited by my mother. I was fairly responsible, but not into the point of excellence. As I grew up, I found out that it's important to have determination, something that arises my willpower and makes me active and contributing. I intend to stop the laziness in me and become much more active in my life, so I get out the best in me.

    Are you insecure with life? Why are others' support necessary?

    No, I don't think of myself as being insecure with life. But as human beings, we need people who are able to understand us and give us support to deal with our lives. In short, to have friends. You can't get along with everyone and you must find people whom you can confide and understand.

    What is the goal of becoming a better person? I don't think 9s are particularly judgmental about how they contribute in the grand scheme of things often, though they may care it's not their main focus as you have shown.

    My goal is to make significant contributions to the world, in my case, through politics. Why, because I think that humans have the task to keep the world going round and fine, just as every other being does. Being a better person will allow me to make such contributions, as it's not only through actions, but through attitudes and habits.

    9s feel the best when they're at rest, but peacefulness and lack of conflict doesn't necessarily mean that. That just means nothing to create problems for you. You've shown a desire to stay productive and moving forward, so maybe the 9 typing is out of the question. What do you make of the deeper meaning to this?

    Mmm, I don't think I understand your question. By "deeper meaning" you mean why do I want to stay productive and moving forward or what I do I understand by "peacefulness and lack of conflict"?

    About sleeping
    Don't we all?

    Yeah, everybody does, but some people just seem it as a brief moment to rest and be ready to work again. I don't. I love to sleep a lot, as I get very tired easily 'cause I'm not physically active due to a hernia. I even fantasize the moment of sleeping, wishing to dream awesome stuff and recovering all my lost energy. Once I used to sleep 12 hours every day because I was tired. I even take naps when possible, and some people don't like it.

    In contrast, for example, my father just sleeps for 4-5 hours and wakes up quite easily. In fact, he doesn't like to sleep a lot, just what's necessary.

    Is this seeking security and having support as you mentioned in this post earlier? Or is it a matter of affection? It doesn't sound very 9-like because 9s are focused on just enjoying themselves and staying at peace.

    Mmm, it's part of security and support seeking, but I also love to meet new people out of pure enjoyment. I like new people and socializing with them is extremely pleasurable to me, except when I don't know how to deal with them . In fact, I'm not that affectionate with people. I even put boundaries on how much trust, company, etc I'll have with them depending on how much I will get along with determined people and the person's personality.

    To not fail while enjoying yourself. It may sound a bit 3ish but you've shown a distancing from this drive of ambition, so you aren't as driven as a 3.

    I think it's a conflict between my 9 and 3 fixes. Most of my times I have a desire to succeed, but I admit it's not as intense as other people's. But there's still a desire of recognition and achievement.

    9s have averse reaction to this because it is just something that stresses them out. Safe to say that you don't take on anxiety because of your demanded to take action that you prefer not to like a 9. You feel good when you push through your anxieties of taking action and act boldly maybe?

    I don't feel good when I push through my anxieties. It's desperating, stressing and awakens some of my insecurities. But I see it as necessary, as something that at the end will make me more mature and conquer my fears and worries in a determined moment. Asserting myself in such situations will definately help me to achieve such a goal.
    Wake thanked this post.

  9. #8

    I don't see over reactions or compulsive tendencies worthy of making him a 6 typing.


    Quote Originally Posted by jdmn View Post
    About sleeping
    Don't we all?

    Yeah, everybody does, but some people just seem it as a brief moment to rest and be ready to work again. I don't. I love to sleep a lot, as I get very tired easily 'cause I'm not physically active due to a hernia. I even fantasize the moment of sleeping, wishing to dream awesome stuff and recovering all my lost energy. Once I used to sleep 12 hours every day because I was tired. I even take naps when possible, and some people don't like it.

    In contrast, for example, my father just sleeps for 4-5 hours and wakes up quite easily. In fact, he doesn't like to sleep a lot, just what's necessary.
    Ya, RH says that 9s favorite activities are to be actually at rest or active yet not critically thinking. I think he referred to it as a daydream mode or something like that. This reflects a 9 tendency heavily.


    Is this seeking security and having support as you mentioned in this post earlier? Or is it a matter of affection? It doesn't sound very 9-like because 9s are focused on just enjoying themselves and staying at peace.

    Mmm, it's part of security and support seeking, but I also love to meet new people out of pure enjoyment. I like new people and socializing with them is extremely pleasurable to me, except when I don't know how to deal with them . In fact, I'm not that affectionate with people. I even put boundaries on how much trust, company, etc I'll have with them depending on how much I will get along with determined people and the person's personality.
    Ya, that is how my brother who is a 9 acts.

    9s are known to lack such motivation when you come across one who has learn to not be unmotivated sometimes it is hard to recognize. I lean towards 9 again.
    jdmn and MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.

  10. #9

    I thought Jawz was a 3. I know he mistyped as a 6.

    Yeah, it's to bad Jawz isn't here. He seems to have some good insights about this stuff.
    MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.

  11. #10

    @Wake
    And you didn't notice that he mentioned his hernia as being a cause behind the excessive sleeping?
    Not all 6s have compulsive tendencies and not all 6s are overreactive (p6s can easily resemble 9s). 6w7s can appear dreamy, affable, easy going. It's the underlying anxiety that counts.

    His answers show this contradictory dynamic and other points:
    - "i over think, i know everything will be fine, BUT i worry that destiny may not help me"(6w7)
    - "i am looking for guidance through research, advise (this is emphasized in his posts. 6w7 is more "other reliant" and tends to have these "friend committees" etc. whereby they actively seek others' opinions to guide their decisions)"
    - "i am impulsive and easily altered (by that he means easily influenced or changed, malleable. 9 is actually a very stubborn type)" (6w7)
    - he wants to improve, has drive (3 fix..but the 3 fix shows more in how he well he works his image of "goodness", "responsibility")
    - the constant dissatisfaction with laziness, the desire to gain momentum and get things done (not indicative of core 9 given the bigger picture, but 6s connection to 9 [doi and dod get blurred for the attachment tried]; that active and conscious resistance of laziness is seen in integrating 9s, and an integrating 9 doesnt have the tendency to "overthink and fall into desperation". so, i can see strong 9 influences, but you have to look a lot harder Wake
    -the emphasis on support and reliance on others is a common 6w7 theme
    - he is "placing boundaries" on how much to trust new company ; he is affable and likes to meet new people for enjoyment as well (7 influence) overall, 6w7 is quite apparent in his responses
    -conquering fears and worries part..very 6ish.

    @MBTI Enthusiast
    You spotted the 3w2 fix right. 3s have a compulsive need to succeed. it's not less than other people's desire to achieve as OP feels. 3s can be cut-throat competitive, and they know it. a disintegrating 3 might feel lazy, less competitive and so on, but I don't see any evidence of the 3s relationship with worth, issues with image (the core of the 3 fixation) in his answers. success, desire for admiration, on their own ..don't indicate core 3. The running themes in his answers are (1) goodness and social responsibility (2) security and avoidance of anxiety/worries (3) avoidance of laziness/inaction (4) seeking guidance.

    Plus, there are a lot of superego messages in his post. A cursory reading gives a 3 or even 9 lol impression, but nope, he is neither a 9 nor a 3.
    Last edited by Sina; 04-17-2012 at 02:13 AM.
    jdmn and MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.


     
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Recent Ennea-confusion... lil help? Thanks!
    By Berry in forum What's my Enneagram type?
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-22-2012, 10:54 AM
  2. I'm having a bit of an Ennea-crisis ;] ...can anyone plz help? Thx!
    By Berry in forum What's my personality type?
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-21-2012, 01:23 PM
  3. N2Freedom Ennea Questionnaire and Discussion
    By n2freedom in forum What's my Enneagram type?
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 02-12-2012, 07:07 PM
  4. [ISFP] ISFP Ennea-Brethren: Compare, Contrast
    By Le9acyMuse in forum ISFP Forum - The Artists
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-28-2011, 12:26 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:39 PM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0