I cannot figure out my type! It's a real challenge please help

I cannot figure out my type! It's a real challenge please help

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This is a discussion on I cannot figure out my type! It's a real challenge please help within the What's my personality type? forums, part of the Personality Cafe category; Hi! I'm brand new to the forum but I've been lurking for awhile! I'll preface this by letting you know ...

  1. #1

    I cannot figure out my type! It's a real challenge please help

    Hi! I'm brand new to the forum but I've been lurking for awhile!

    I'll preface this by letting you know that I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. One key feature of BPD is an having an 'unstable sense of self'. Which, in short, means that I have a difficult time accurately assessing myself in any context, including in regards to the MBTI. I've typed frequently as INFJ, ISFP, ENTP, INTP, it's seemingly random. I've read that assessments (or tests, whatever you prefer to call them) are not also accurate. But, reading descriptions about the types and applying them to myself is not guaranteed either for me! I feel like an entirely different person depending on the day.

    If you have any questions that may help you with typing me then I'd be more than happy to answer them. But, I'll start by saying that I'm reserved around people unless I know them well but I can be super talkative around anyone really. I'm sure there are people who would say I'm excessively cheery and prone to rambling. I have my quiet days too. It depends on my mood, which is always cycling. It may be important to note that I am also working on recovery from depression. So, there are days were I turn away from the world, for sure. I'm not sure if my low moods are indicative of my personality type. But, anyway. I think of my behavior as bold, I have a lot of nervous energy and I would say I'm introspective. But I still like attention and standing out from the crowd usually. I can be flamboyant but I generally think that I'm easy to get along with. I'm only combative with people who I feel are infringing on the rights of others! I wish more people would offer one another compassion more readily.

    I have only a few close friends but a wider circle of friends who I see every once in awhile. I like my alone time but it often leaves me feeling empty too. I like to think of myself as someone who is analytical. My sister, who is an INFP, knows whether or not she likes something instinctively almost. Whereas I want to dissect everything I take it. From movies to the way people interact with each other. I think she may be more sensitive to how other people treat her and how her actions may effect others than I am. Which I admire in her. I have an INTJ friend too. He's an angel at his core but his judgmental nature is something I cannot understand. I always tell him how it's important to treat others how THEY would like to be treated. Talking behind people's backs and gossip makes me uncomfortable. I'm not a saint obviously! But I try my best to live how I feel is right and respectful. By giving other's space and making them feel valued.

    I'm not as 'peace on earth' as I'm making myself come across here though haha! I have my hot streaks! My temper and attitude can be volatile. I'm a work-in-progress. I have a tendency to be hard on myself. Self-conscious too. I think I may come across as selfish sometimes. But, I'm a big proponent for self-love and self-respect. I hated school high school and stopped going for awhile because I felt like the structure and pressure forced students to conform to the ideals of their teachers and their peers. Day-to-day life is boring! I can be excitable about small things, like eating out with friends, a cathartic therapy session. I may come across as lackadaisical. I feel like a walking contradiction in so many ways! I'm slowly starting to understand that you cannot paint yourself with a thin brush though.

    I could keep going but I better keep this short (yes, this is what I consider "short" when talking about myself). Like I mentioned, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have about me. I'm open to suggestions and comments too. Please, don't hold back! Thanks in advance for any response I may get!
    nep2une thanked this post.



  2. #2

    From that text, it seems like you have a lot of focus on people whether you realize it or not, which is indicative of high Fe. So you could be xxFJ.

  3. #3

    I think that's very insightful! I normally don't think of myself as someone who is overly concerned with others. But, realistically I do spend a lot of time thinking about others and trying to decode what others are feeling or what they may be thinking about it. I think that's one of the main reasons I tend to be so self-conscious.

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  5. #4

    Boost maybe? I've had XXFJ, EXFJ, ISFP, and ISFJ already suggested to me on this site so far.

  6. #5
    INFP


    From this, I believe you're likely an ExFP type, I can't separate N from S - there's no information either way here.

    There is enough for me to believe you're an E type due to being super talkative, cheery, prone to rambling etc etc - yes, you're reserved when you meet new people - who isn't - but you specifically state you can be super talkative "around anyone really".. you like attention, like to stand out from the crowd.. Clear E.

    ExFx is evident - "treat others how THEY would like to be treated".. "hot streaks".. volatile temper and attitude.. in other words, you extravert your feelings. ExFx.

    I've decided to go with P over J, as you're uneasy with regards to your INTJ friends 'judgmental' nature, you suggest gossip makes you feel uncomfortable - likely ties in with the 'live and let live' attitude of ExxP types - also this:

    "I hated school high school and stopped going for awhile because I felt like the structure and pressure forced students to conform to the ideals of their teachers and their peers. Day-to-day life is boring!"

    That is obviously a P preference.

    I know you didn't really like high school, but, was there any subjects you preferred at school at all?
    If there was, what? Why did you like it?
    faithhealing thanked this post.

  7. #6

    I really like how you broke down what I had written and explained your thinking!

    I liked English in high school. Creative writing and dissecting essays and short stories always come easily to me. I was awful in math and sciences. They were too straightforward and I had difficulty paying attention to them since I couldn't put my own spin on my work, you know? I really like social sciences though. Like, Psychology but especially Sociology. I try to understand how people interact and connect. And, why people clash. I liked how everything was speculative and arguments were bound to happen! Writing and critical thinking were the only aspects of high school I liked (besides socializing). I could be awkward in gym glass and even music was too hands-on for me sometimes. I was a slow learner when it came to practicing on the keyboard haha.

    Hope that gives you more insight.

  8. #7
    INFP


    Most likely a preference for N, imo - ENFP would be my guess.

    Psychology, sociology, creative writing, speculation - this is the realm of the NF temperament.
    A distaste for the structure of maths and science leads me to believe you like shy away from S preferences, as well.
    faithhealing thanked this post.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Turi View Post
    Most likely a preference for N, imo - ENFP would be my guess.

    Psychology, sociology, creative writing, speculation - this is the realm of the NF temperament.
    A distaste for the structure of maths and science leads me to believe you like shy away from S preferences, as well.
    I can see where you're coming from! It does sound pretty accurate as far as I can tell.

    I thought maybe I was an INFP before but I couldn't really relate to how closed off and hesitant my INFP sister can be. I usually think of extroverts as people who exclusively spend time with strangers and acquaintances and who are totally confident in themselves. But, I guess that was more of an assumption based on stereotypes.

  10. #9
    INFP


    Quote Originally Posted by faithhealing View Post
    I can see where you're coming from! It does sound pretty accurate as far as I can tell.

    I thought maybe I was an INFP before but I couldn't really relate to how closed off and hesitant my INFP sister can be. I usually think of extroverts as people who exclusively spend time with strangers and acquaintances and who are totally confident in themselves. But, I guess that was more of an assumption based on stereotypes.
    Yeah, that's a stereotype - the ordinary, everyday "extravert" is going to be far more similar to how you present yourself - maybe a little shy/reserved at first, and open up more after they get to know you.

    Extraversion means that (among other things) you're stimulated by outside sources, as opposed to being stimulated by your own mind.
    It doesn't automatically mean you're talkative, or loud, boisterous etc etc these are just byproducts of people some people who are stimulated by outside sources (interacting with people - which I think you enjoy, as you suggest too much alone time makes you feel empty).

    An extraverted intuitive type is stimulated by possibilities and ideas with regards to their environment, so they get energised by basically observing and engaging in what's going on - to compare this to an introverted intuitive type, they're stimulated by basically spacing out and introspecting - and I for one, will feel amazing at 'the best I've ever been' after days of this - no contact with anybody, just pure introspection and introversion. Not that I ever get it - but this is what separates introverts from extraverts - how they gain energy, so to speak.

    You could liken it to one of those free-to-play Android games with the energy bar - introverts are the idea of your energy recharging during the course of the day, without you playing it.
    Extraverts are the idea of gaining energy as you play - i.e you beat a level and gain +10 energy - it's the interaction that stimulates extraverts and keeps them going.

    This doesn't mean they're loud and excitable etc. They may very well be the quietest person in the room, but they might be observing and interacting with their environment mentally (N) rather than physically (S) and be happy to be a fly on the wall all day, and not tire out.

    Confidence, I don't really see as linked to introversion or extraversion directly however, I do believe the extraverts who lean far "E" would likely develop confidence over time, as a byproduct of interacting with people etc.. so I can see the relation, I think it's an indirect one, though.


    Of course, you're diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, so who knows if what we're seeing this thread is just you 'today', if it is, that's cool too.
    Last edited by Turi; 12-21-2017 at 12:09 PM.

  11. #10

    I actually feel like I'm learning a lot. So, I appreciate you taking the time to explain these things to me. You seem very well informed!

    I've made of point of presenting myself in a 'neutral' way, so I think what I've written and what I've posted is a pretty good indication of how I usually am. BPD can make me temperamental but I very well may have a consistent self-image as far as people who know me are concerned. It's more so that I'm not entirely able to see myself in an accurate light. Obviously that would make typing myself a struggle. XXFP is accurate, I'm basically sure of it. I was described as an 'ambivert' recently so maybe that's why I was confused about the whole extrovert or introvert situation. Overall though, I feel 'stuck in my head' a lot and I worry about how people see me so I can adjust myself to fit into a group sometimes. That's why I like typology, because it's like I can understand myself better when I'm reading up on it.
    Turi thanked this post.


     
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