Help me find my type, I can't do this alone (with questionnaire)

Help me find my type, I can't do this alone (with questionnaire)

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This is a discussion on Help me find my type, I can't do this alone (with questionnaire) within the What's my personality type? forums, part of the Personality Cafe category; One more person to be typed. I have struggled with self-typing since no one in my circle of people cares ...

  1. #1

    Help me find my type, I can't do this alone (with questionnaire)

    One more person to be typed. I have struggled with self-typing since no one in my circle of people cares about personality types, or if they do they only read the 16personalities stereotypes and do the online test which I just find inaccurate in so many ways. I have been typed as ENTJ once (unofficially), but I find it hard to believe to be accurate, online tests with their inaccuracy sort me to INTJ camp. I feel like I could be ISTJ but then again I have no Si to speak of. So, I really have no clue, all thoughts are welcome at this point.

    I know these questionnaires are dull for many people, and the amount of text here is enormous, but if anyone would at least glance this and give some thoughts basing on my answers, I'd be so grateful. Due to my own incapability to be objective, I don't think I'll ever find my type on my own.

    I am also aware that many ways of my thinking and feeling and self expression are unhealthy, so please spare your time and don't write a 3 page essay on how I am unhealthy and I need help. Thank you for your consideration, I am aware and my issues are being treated by a professional psychologist :)

    Also I am not native English speaker, so I shall do my best to express myself as well as I can. If you need clarification to something/you can't figure out what I mean by something, please ask me. Also, if you happen to notice a pattern of mistakes, I would appreciate if you correct my grammar/misuse of phrasing/vocabulary.

    1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.

    27 year-old female, working and studying, soon to be married. Generally my life is good at the moment.

    I am currently recovering from a long lasting depressive state (several years long), actively visiting a professional and ”self-helping” and learning to live like a functional, emotional human being again. I have been progressing well for over a year noe. I don't have any official diagnosis (yet), but borderline personality disorder and HSP and chronic depression have been speculated by professionals that have been treating me. I am generally a person who seems to live in phases, and finding balance is very difficult to me.
    I understand this may make typing me impossible for me and to others.

    2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?

    I chose the picture with landscape, since it has a more soothing and calming atmosphere in my opinion. The general contrast and colors are very pleasing to me, unlike the picture with croissants which seems like it is desaturated. To me this landscape is a symbol of peacefulness and lonesomeness (I don't mean this in a negative way, but I couldn't figure out a better word for the nice feeling you get from being alone when you really need that down time.)

    3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?

    I am often described as confident, intelligent and analytical person by others. Although I can’t say I agree: generally it seems that people have no idea what is going in my head unless I tell them straight what I think or feel. I am not at all as confident as I may seem, but I do my best so that others wouldn't see that. I guess I like my masks. But since I am generally hard to read to most people, I have evolved to be very straightforward and honest (my mother says I'm too honest for my own good). I guess I am a bit reserved in a way, although that is also a national character of my nation (Finland) so it is hard to make sure if it's just the culture I've grown in or my own personality. I am very talkative as long as the topic is something I'm interested in. I struggle with small-talk and ”nonsense” talk. Or sports talk. Please never talk to me about sports.

    People generally seem to describe me as an analytical and strong willed person, however I am totally oblivious to these qualities myself. Generally I get praised for my intelligence and rationality, although this also occasionally makes me overconfident/judgemental of others' thinking and emotions. I find myself to be immensely emotional inside my head, but it may just be that once I get emotional, it overwhelms me entirely.

    I am not good at expressing my emotions: especially emotions that are considered positive (happiness, love, gratitude) seem to be very private things to me: I don't feel comfortable letting other people see my feelings. However... my emotions tend to lash out in very aggressive or defensive manner every now and then, after keeping them to myself for long enough. I know, so unhealthy.

    Apparently, despite my insecurity in social interaction, I can read people quite well and a phrase I hear often is “did you just read my mind?”. And no, from my point of clue I really have no clue, I am just mainly guessing and more often than not it hits a jackpot. This has lead to a phenomenon of me tending to over read and analyze people and social situations, and assume people's feelings, thoughts and general mood. I am getting more and more adept at this apparently, since I am more often right than during my younger years. However, these assumptions are never 100% facts, however I may interpret them as such. I am also very good at spotting liars by now, since I have been screwed over several times in my life. I tend to be much kinder and good-believing person than I’d like.

    I am very sensitive to criticism and I generally am afraid that I’m a bad or faulty human being in some fundamental way. I keep playing a balancing act of trying to be a nice and good person by standards of others, and not giving a crap of others. From one end to another. Apparently I am actually a very caring person, I just don’t want to be because it normally ends up hurting me when people (probably without meaning it) break my trust or won’t seem to care about me the way I thought they did.

    I tend to be quite serious, and once I resort to humor, it’s almost always sarcastic in nature or trying to be witty. I have found humor as a good tool to interact with people now that I’m an adult, it also shields me a bit in the process.

    4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?

    I wish I was a tougher. And oh dear, don't I try hard to be tougher only to be constantly reminded that I just am not. My mother is an extremely dominant, masculine and leader-minded woman, who has a general aura of strength in her. You know the type of person who walks into a room and you just know who is in charge after that. Also a person who can't admit being wrong, no matter what. I am sure I'm a textbook example of mommy issues.
    I would love to be more like my mother, less interested in what other people think of me, more true to myself and more powerful in general I guess. As much as others claim that I'm a leader-type myself and that I am indeed a powerful character, I can't see myself that way at all.

    I would love to be a more positive and happy person too, I tend to gravitate towards pessimism (realism, if you ask me). I also would like to be less prone to pass my own needs: it’s hard to be true to yourself or take care of your own physical or emotional needs when you don’t have any idea what those are majority of the time.

    I would hate to be a soft, weak or over-sensitive or overly emotional person. I can fully accept these qualities in others, but not in myself. And since I've been labeled as such for most of my life, you may see how come I have come to have many issues with my self-esteem and self-image. I couldn't stand the thought that people could see my emotions and thoughts either. I also would hate to be despised by others in some way, or to be a person who never accomplishes anything at all. A person who is doomed to be alone, lonely and sad, without any community or family by my side.

    5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?

    I think I mainly kept describing and comparing how others see me and how I see myself already, but I can figure out more. People seem to think that I am helpful and empathetic to others, despite the fact that I find myself struggling with both: I find myself to be a very selfish person… However, majority of the people never seem to see that part of me, and I still help almost anyone who dares to ask for it. I do this for several reasons, and not the least one of them is that I want to be liked and respected. Also, I often honestly think I have the best solution for any given problem, whether it’s emotional or physical problem. I think that if I won’t help others, who’s going to help me once I’m in bind? No-one. I also can’t stand people who feel bad in my environment for very long, I keep sucking their bad emotions like a sponge. So better to help them as soon as possible, or they’ll be feeling like that longer and then I will feel bad. See? Selfish reasons.

    A lot of how others see me doesn’t add up to the feelings and the thoughts of my own. Especially those people who know me well see things in me that I just can’t see, like that I am intensively caring person and so on. I just try to keep people at arm’s length apparently.

    6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.

    I have problems describing my values, it feels like those keep changing. I must admit that I won’t think about them much. I asked help from my husband for this… We came to a conclusion that a lot of my values are liberal, like my political wing too. I don’t like fast changes in my own life, but I have no issue driving changes in society or systems if it makes things work better or more efficiently.
    I value intelligence and rationality, immensely, both in myself and in others. If one isn’t logical or rational, he or she better be intelligent or brilliant. Sadly I have quite low tolerance for (my subjective idea of) stupidity.
    Apparently family, friends and other relationships, trust, honesty and loyalty are one of my cornerstone values. Especially loyalty is a huge thing to me, and when others break my feeling of loyalty, it gets ugly quickly. And I am hurt deeply in the process.

    Value test results:
    1. Logic 2. Intelligence 3. Loyalty 4. Love 5. Honesty/Sincerity 6. Wisdom 7. Perceptiveness 8. Control 9. Confidence 10. Independence

    7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?

    I generally need time to process new things. I prefer to plan in advance whenever I can, and I don’t like surprises. Whenever a new unexpected situation rises, I tend to lose my balance and just “rush through it”. Dealing with unexpected changes eats my energy a lot. If I’ve had time to prepare myself mentally and plan and organize, I’ll be just fine.

    As an example, a new situation I had time to prepare for. I lived in China for about 4 months few years ago, for work, and since I knew I was going to a new culture, new language, new country, I prepared myself for it. I started months before my departure, I made sure I had an emergency kit notebook with Chinese phrases (written in Hanzi) in it in case I get in trouble while traveling alone in Beijing. Naturally I also learned the language as much as I could. I went to the interwebs and chatted with Chinese people and asked how did their daily lives and customs worked, tried to get a general idea what is polite and what’s not and so on. My trip went well, nothing major went wrong during those months.

    On the other hand, a situation I don’t have possibility to prepare for… A change that occurs quickly and I have no time to process it by myself normally makes me agitated. I may even get angry at the person or thing that caused this change. As an example, my husband is very very very spontaneous most of the time, thus he tends to make last minute changes to all plans we have (in other words, I have) made, and then forgets to inform me. And I normally do get angry if I am left out of the loop, or I must change the plan unexpectedly. I may also stress and overthink the issue, and kind of get stuck in the new development, but I still make all necessary arrangements immediately. Once I get over the initial shock, I’ll adapt and calm down. Once the change has been taken care of, I can relax again.

    For more pressing changes with more impact and that come suddenly, I may get stuck in analysis stage. I go back and forth with my disappointment and trying to solve the problem, and may end up not moving in any direction. If this lasts long enough, I am very prone to impulsive decisions that may cause a lot of havoc in my personal life.

    8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.

    I am very cool in stressful situations as long as the impact isn’t straightly concerning me, or that I can do something to change the outcome immediately. In emergency situations and such I keep my cool and I stay functional until the situation is over. Same with emotional crisis of others’ and such. Logic rules. When I was a child, maybe 7 years-old, our neighbour came to our door with her daughter, who was coughing blood and choking. I calmly walked to get my mother and told her that she needs to call an ambulance now because this girl has swallowed a toy and it’s causing her to bleed from her throat. And this type of sudden stress still doesn’t affect me to this day.

    However, once the subject of stress is me myself and I, and my ah so sensitive emotions or thoughts, then I lose my cool and control and all related things. I just drop the ball, blob. And then there comes a certain amount of time, normally less than an hour, when I just can’t move to any direction (mentally), I am just stuck in that hole. I may be overly emotional or spiteful or whatever depending on the situation. Anyway, my logic and rationale goes all syntax error. After a while I normalize myself and I can then analyze the situation properly and actually do something about it.

    I also seem to react differently to sudden stress and chronic stress. Chronic stress causes me anxiety and depression symptoms, thus I do my best to avoid it if I can.

    9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.

    I dare to say that no one outside myself knows that I’m enjoying myself. Sure, I may laugh a bit more and be on a better mood, but it is quite subtle. I am normally very private with my positive feelings and emotions, but I may be more talkative when I feel comfortable and am enjoying myself. Generally, I get more easy to approach I guess. I also get some sense of humor once I’m enjoying myself, which is exact opposite to times when I’m not feeling alright and I just can’t understand any joking at all.

    10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?

    I am at my best in one-on-one interaction, and also the most talkative. Actually, with a right person when one-on-one, I just won’t shut up. I keep talking and talking as much as this other person is willing to listen, so much that I feel guilty for being the only one talking all the time and taking all that time and space.

    Group interaction isn’t really that bad for me, I just won’t get a chance to do my intense focus thing I enjoy so much.

    11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?

    Social norms, huh… I am not always sure I understand them at all. I try very hard, but if I need to get dressed for someone’s wedding, I have no idea what I’m supposed to be wearing or what the “code” is.

    I have zero interest in traditions, and most of them I could leave away from my life and I wouldn’t even notice. I am zero religious too. Many of the customs of society feel a bit unnecessary to me, waste of time so to speak. I do follow all these “rules” since it makes other people happy, but in my own mind I don’t value them. I see how they can be useful or important to some people.

    People are… well, quite predictable but often not as thoughtful/smart/long scoping I’d like. I prefer cats, less expectations :’) In all seriousness though, I sometimes keep wondering if people think things through at all. I know, that there are so many intelligent people out there, but somehow the majority often seems to baffle me with their short sightedness. I think humanity would have such a potential for great things if we just tried a little harder to think things from a bird’s eye view, instead of being so stuck in the narrow view of our own lives. Also if we cooperated a bit more instead of always trying to be so individualistic in our culture or values, and making them a problem when someone else disagrees.
    I am not going to be the person who tries to open the eyes of other people though, I gave up on changing anyone’s mind a long time ago. People will see the way when they are igniting it by themselves, or when they think they are the ones who figured it it. Personally, I don’t have energy to speed up the process. But I sure hope someone else would.

    12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?

    I have no problem with authority. IF it works for a reason and is working and functional and isn’t overly bureaucratic gibberish only for its own sake. See what I mean? Since I live in Finland, where everything is a rule or law, naturally I have accustomed to weird-ass laws that make no sense. Like that I am not allowed to drink alcoholic beverages on a public place. So it’s alright that I drink on a bar terrace over there, but once I move 2 meters to the street, it’s illegal. Nope, not going to follow this one.

    I totally see that with big populations you need a set of rules and laws to keep somewhat human like order. However, whether it’s a school, workplace or society, if the rules and laws make no goddamn sense, I am not following them. I may not see it necessary to change the rules, but I will not follow them either.

    I used to be very rule centric when I was younger, mainly because I was afraid of the consequences of breaking the rules. I was so afraid I or others would end up in trouble, or that others who broke rules would cause me trouble, that I was insufferable for a few years of my life. Luckily teenage years aren’t forever.

    13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?

    Chaos means trouble. It just means a lot of trouble. I need to hold the strings, if I don’t, they’ll all slip away and burn my hands while doing so. I have history of being much more impulsive than I am now, and I have learned my lesson: chaos isn’t my friend, it’s a thing that tends to ruin my life. I rather have things somewhat in order (I most certainly aren’t as orderly as many others I know), or at least I need to know what’s coming. I tend to go through a lot of imagination simulations where I can prepare myself for many things that may or may not happen in my life, just to give me more processing time and experience before things happen. I have a very good imagination in that regard.

    I don’t mind if my surroundings aren’t neatly in order, or if my books aren’t in A to Z order or that sort of things. However, I need to know when I’m going, where I’m going etc… Because unless I know and prepare, it always goes badly. I get lost or I won’t make it to the bus or something bad happens and then I’m again in trouble. Also, I am super absent minded, I’d lose my head if I could. Thus, I need some amount of order to protect me from all this, or my life will collapse quite quickly.

    I have trouble holding up routines, especially daily routines, thus I always have a loose plan for one day or week or year or whatever to keep me on track. I may tweak the plan when needed, but the general direction stays the same. Unless, I decide that the end goal is no longer valid and I just toss the whole plan. I also try to do things out of the way as soon as I can, so that I can’t forget to do them. I use lists and excels (and I love my excels dearly) and such if I see need to do so, but I don’t make lists on a daily basis outside of work (where I really need to remember things so that I can actually get my job done).

    14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?

    I fear that I’ll be alone in my life. For some reason I’d end up alone, no family, no friends, no one. Just me and cats. And as much as I love cats, it would still be terrible.
    I fear that I will fail as a human being, I’ll never achieve anything and that I’ll never be satisfied with my life. I also fear that my psychological issues will never pass, and that I’m going to be messed up for the rest of my life.

    And I’m afraid of being a bad person, a person who doesn’t care about others’ feelings and hurts others without realising it. This may well be true too, so it’s a valid fear.

    15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?

    This is going to be a painful one. I used to have very high goals in life, career and otherwise. I wanted to be a doctor or a veterinarian, I wanted a lot of cats and other animals, I wanted a nice husband or wife. No kids. I knew exactly what kind of apartment I wanted (I didn’t want a house but an apartment), what kind of work and status I wanted to have etc. I wanted to achieve, I desired certain lifestyle and achievements. I had a very good plan, and I worked hard to achieve the kind of life I dreamed about.
    And it did work, until I got depressed and impulsive and self destructive, I have pretty much stagnated myself. I got stuck in life, for years. I lost all my direction, I gave up all my dreams for other people’s sake without realizing doing so (I even gave away my cat because my ex didn’t like him, and I loved that cat!)... So eventually I decided that since none of my dreams will come true, better not dream or want or desire anything at all.

    At a moment I am learning to desire things again. I am getting a new cat too, goddammit.

    16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?

    a) I get energized by my own down time, when I actively “zone out” to my own inner world with fantasy worlds and stories I’ve created. I also use this method to imagine possible life situations (especially social interactions) and creating scenarios where I can safely do and say things I couldn’t say outside of my head.
    I am also quite energized by debates, if the topic is something I think I know well and am interested in. So much so, that many people find my sudden burst of energy very assertive. In real I am not trying to be assertive, I just get heated up when I’m really into something.
    I love working. Sure, it tires me out in time, but once I get a new project and I start working, it sure energizes me. Sadly, I am not on a career path that I exactly adore, but even so. I work in web design at the moment, and doing things related to it, designing and drawing especially energize me.

    b) I think all activity drains me :’D But let’s say that anything that has a physical element to it, or has something to do with big groups of people. I tend to get more drained the more I have to deal with people, since I have to constantly tone myself down and watch my words and body language around people. Also, chaotic interactions or dealing with social environment where people aren’t organized drains me (not the least since I constantly try to control the chaos).

    Also, high stimuli situations with lots of noise or other distractions (I do often find them as distractions) drain me without me being aware of it in the moment. Since I am very sensitive to outer sensory experiences, I get easily overwhelmed by lots of them. This normally comes apparent to me only after the experience however.

    17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.

    I am interested to know my type mainly for self-help and learning to know myself. I have never felt I actually know myself well, in fact I seem to be quite detached from my own emotions, and since even my thinking process is mostly automated by this age, I don’t spend much energy reflecting myself naturally. Thus, tools like MBTI and Jungian psychology give me a form that isn’t factual and yes, it shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but gives some direction as preferences and qualities of my personality go.

    I haven’t been officially typed, but in a similar setup to this questionnaire here I was typed as ENTJ. And I don’t feel like the description fits me all that well. In online tests and cognitive functions tests I keep scoring as INTJ, 90% of the time, and the rest ENTJ. And since both these types are a) quite rare among females b) statistically rare in general, I have a suspicion that this isn’t my type. I can’t say I see myself as innovative or open to changes in general, or that I’d be “facsinated or energized by the unknown” at all. I might be just an oversensitive sensor who tries very hard to be intuitive.
    I am trying hard to wrap my head around cognitive functions, and I can somewhat recognise them in others, but looking at myself objectively is quite a challenge for me. I feel like I am affected a lot by the idea of the person who I want to be instead of actually seeing myself as I am.

    In cognitive function tests I score high on both Ti and Te, and Ni. My lowest functions are always Fi and/or Fe.

    extraverted Sensing (Se)
    ******************** (20.9)
    limited use
    introverted Sensing (Si)
    ***************************** (29)
    average use
    extraverted Intuiting (Ne)
    *********************** (23.8)
    limited use
    introverted Intuiting (Ni)
    **************************************** (40.7)
    excellent use
    extraverted Thinking (Te)
    ************************************ (36.8)
    excellent use
    introverted Thinking (Ti)
    ******************************************** (44.2)
    excellent use
    extraverted Feeling (Fe)
    ************************** (26.9)
    average use
    introverted Feeling (Fi)
    ***************** (17.5)
    limited use

    No official enneagram test has been made, but online quizzes gave me 3w4 and 8w7 (8w7 is more common). Here too, I can’t say I trust the results of these online tests.

    18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?

    Nope, I think I have already gone way beyond most of the questions and the wall of text is already bad enough.

    Thank you, reader, if you ended up reading all this. I realize it may be troublesome to go through this much info about a random person, so huge thanks to you for at least reading it through.
    Last edited by typomachina; 06-21-2018 at 05:27 PM.

  2. #2

    No one? I get it, the amount of text is a bit too much ^^'

  3. #3

    please trust me. No need for questionnaire. Just let me know your true date of birth and you will know your true mbti type. It's simple and more accurate than the mbti test. I have been helping people out for the past seven years. You can check my post on famous footballers and coaches true mbti types for more insights. Most of them have been mistyped but with the help of numerology I was able to correct all the mistakes.

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  5. #4

    TemperamentHacker, I do appreciate your offer, but I don't think numerology is really a thing I find very trustworthy personally. I truly would prefer to pinpoint my type the hard way ^^

  6. #5

    I really don know what the person above me is saying but it is irrelevant.
    You seem very withdrawn and thoughtful about your words from what I have read. I would definitely say you are an introvert.
    Although you have some Te tendencies, (Im assuming you know what functions are since you mentioned Si), you seem to lack the more natural assertiveness that high Te users can slip into. Your cognitive function test is super helpful. And don worry, being hard to type just makes you a more interesting person. to me, you would appear to be an INTP with very good Ni. I would have said INFJ but you stated that your feelings tend to overwhelm you, a very inferior feeling trait.
    Your enneagram may interfere with how your MBTI type is perceived but I don know enneagram well so I wont go into that.
    Read some descriptions of INTP and see how that fits. And remember that itś just a box, you don have to agree with everything people say about your type and some of it is flat out garbage.
    Hope this helps.

  7. #6

    Huge thanks to you Kanani for your time! You just made my day ^-^

    I sure get overwhelmed and "lost" in my my own emotions easily and they tend to take me with them entirely: I lose all the logic I normally have during big (negative) emotions. And I am generally ashamed to show emotions (partly due to my upbringing and that others get shaken because of my intense emotional reactions whenever they surface).

    And yes, I know the basics (and little more) about cognitive functions, I'm quite thorough researcher once I get into something. Sadly I am not very good at recognizing functions in myself. I can spot them somehow in others already though.
    I shall consider INTP and research it more than I've until now, it is one possibility indeed. I can't say I relate with Si or Ne (especially Ne, which I see in action on a daily basis since my husband is textbook ENFP, a hyperactive Ne-beast!) but it is possible that I just can't see them (Ne and Si) in myself. I've also always been more drawn to J types when considering my own type, but it might be that it's just part of me that wants to be decisive and in control (whether I actually am or not). The whole ENTJ fangirl thing would make sense if I was (most certainly at least somewhat unhealthy) a INTP though :'D

  8. #7

    Another MBTI test online MBTI – What do you think about it?

  9. #8

    I was thinking INTP too. At first I was thinking you were a judger type due to your need for routine/structure, but in reading more, it seems this is something you've developed or learnt to do along the way so that things 'don't slip into chaos'. Innately, it sounds like you may be a more 'loose ended' type of person, so possibly INTP instead of INTJ.


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