1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
22 year-old male, currently studying in college, about to graduate next year.
Officially, I’m mentally healthy, but I probably have sociopathic or autistic tendencies and am a person that seems to go through energy spikes/phases, so sometimes it’s kinda hard to find a balance or right pacing to me. Maybe it’s just me and I’m normal, I don’t know.
2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?
I chose the pic with Aurora Borealis, because it seems to be more calm, relieving, and it’s relaxing just by looking at it. The picture with croissants is not so eye attracting, since it’s on low resolution and too saturated imo (the effects are kind of eyesore in my opinion). The landscape seems to be more appealing to me.
3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?
As far as I know, I’m often described as complicated and level headed person: either airheaded idiot, or too narrow minded and too driven and stubborn, natural actor, overly critical towards others, very self-aloof, brutally honest, sensitive, extremely bossy, uncaring and blunt towards other people, lazy, irresponsible or too responsible, intelligent, moody, forgetful, spontaneous, and unpredictable by some other people. Also, my sister calls me troll/trickster, because I sometimes like messing around with things or don’t look at things very seriously. Can’t say much about it, but agree at some parts. People usually don’t know what’s rushing in my head, what I’m going to do next, or know me too well, and have various opinions towards me.
I often end up driven by mood. If my mood sucks, my whole days sucks and I make everybody around me feel like shit, when my mood is good, everything is dandy. Also, when it comes to emotions or feelings, I’m extremely reserved and private and suck ass at expressing myself and my feelings, it is always easier to explain it by writing down on paper or by doing some sort of meaningful thing. I don't feel comfortable letting other people see me expressing feelings. I usually delay them and keep them inside until they break out with a bang and leave me completely cripple. When it comes to understanding other people’s feelings, I’m cold and uncaring, but deeply feeling guilty. The guilt often is so strong, that I can’t think properly sometimes, because I deeply somewhat care.
When it comes to social aspects, I’m antisocial person and hate majority of humans. I don’t like socializing very much and find it rather difficult. I’d rather spend time playing video games or studying/reading than socializing with groups of people. When it comes to social interactions with other people, I stay emotionally blunt and straightforward, but initiative and controlling, and tend to twist the discussions where I want, without paying attention to what other people want. I don’t like group chats/interactions, and I more prefer to talk to very few people at the same time. I hate casual small talk, because it doesn’t come naturally for me, and I almost always force it and turn it into a deep, long discussions or sometimes even debates. I usually don’t go deeply into details, because details kill me and I can’t memorize them all, that’s why I go for big picture. When it comes to interactions, people describe me as analytical and savage, because I usually do “my homework” about what I’m dealing with to learn how to execute problems and successfully get job done and because I’m sharp tongued person, so bullshiting my way out of anywhere is very easy and I can easily get away with it. I sometimes drop some offensive/mean/sarcastic bants or food for thoughts. I rarely get complimented by others, because I easily kill off my reputation and love messing around with everything around me, rarely experimenting, leaving chaos and confusion, or conglomerate that might be useful to me. Oh, and I also love using excessive amounts of profanity/slurs/curse words, extremely love abusing inside jokes and puns with bants, because it lets me express myself much more easier.
I may seem to look insensitive towards criticism, but deeply I’m very sensitive and get offended very quickly, and think that I’m dysfunctional human being, despite being spontaneous, lazy, and uncaring. Once I get offended, I become loathing, uncaring, and abusive. Generally, I don’t care what other people say about me, and stay true to myself even when it looks hard to stay like that.
Sometimes my working style is unpredictable, because I’m kinda dependant on mood. Other people find it hard to work with me due to my impulsive behavior or extreme stubbornness and edginess. I sometimes quickly come up various ideas, but I must think and plan strategically, and think about outcomes. I suck at improvising and doing things at the present moments or living with past happenings (I just don’t understand reason why), so I’m better at focusing on the future.
Despite being super serious most of the time, I love humor and jokes. As it comes to humor, I’m complete maniac. I love laughing, and I fucking love abusing inside jokes, puns, slurs, running gags, stereotypes, and anything else that I can poke fun of. Sister calls me troll because I love abusing things around me and use them for my advantage, and doing lots of pranks/jokes, while my parents call me too sarcastic. The unhealthy amounts of sarcasm I use often drives people insane and leaves them pissed off or uncomfortable after spending some time with me (t just really depends on topics and people).
4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?
Honestly, I sometimes feel like I’m horrible person and that I’m just a waste of oxygen in this world, because I lack understanding, vision, wider opinion towards certain things. When it comes to intelligence, I wish I had stronger vision, better memory, was a better listener, and was more driven when it comes to learning and leaning towards power, because sometimes I feel like I’m not intellectually appealing and intelligent enough, not powerful enough, as I appear to be incredibly shallow, shy, goofy, and narrow minded when intellectual/philosophical discussions occur. I also wish I was more tolerant and caring towards others, responsible and had a stronger spine, because in some cases I’m very cold and in most of the case I’m extremely selfish, and don’t help others, because I don’t know how to help them.
I would hate to be a really soft, spineless, and overly sensitive pansy, that has no opinion and no clue what’s happening. I kinda could accept it in others, but not in myself.
5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?
Don’t think so, but maybe there are. I kind of don’t see a need to ask how they perceive me. People probably see me differently, depending on each individual’s opinion and their personal needs. Some might see me as an ideal or good reliable person, others might do opposite, etc.
I’m not a very big fan of comparing myself next to others and nagging others to tell me what they think about me, and ask how great I’m, but secret narcissist deep inside me kind of wants to be liked more and wants to know.
6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.
Describing my values can be problematic for me. I don’t know what are my real values. I don’t think about them. I’m pretty conservative person, but often pointed out being careless, passive, lazy, and childish. Ironically, I’m somewhat action packed and I like being on the move. I don’t like unpredictable and very fast changes, but I like manipulating and messing around with what others bring. I like thinking about challenging situations, having my mindset clear, thinking about rational decisions, using my gut instincts, and somewhat uncomfortable urges to do something, having something to discover. I can be short fused towards other people sometimes, but most of the time I’m pretty chill and honest, sometime too honest.
I value intelligence, efficiency, competence, and tolerance, but can’t really tolerate inefficiency, laziness, and too big childishness. Don’t have opinion about stupidity and narrow mindedness, since I probably AM that kind of person.
Value test results: (I picked about 15/under 20, because description said it would take lots of time, I could have picked up more, but it would have taken tons of time to me, and I’m too lazy to click on buttons for several hours until I get few hundred something questions completed)
1.Health; 2.Learning; 3.Honesty; 4.Truth; 5.Efficiency; 6.Reason; 7.Vitality 8.Curiosity; 9.Humor; 10.Faith.
7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?
It generally takes me some time to accept new things/changes and know the situation I’m dealing with. When something new and very unexpected happens, I sometimes get extremely stressed and sometimes even paranoid, but in most of cases I’m calm and try to analyze situation I’m dealing with. I have to think everything all over again, and plan everything from scratch again, which sucks.
As an example I probably will take some of my college experience. One subject was getting cut completely and 5 months sooner than it was planned, due to budget cut, so we all had to finish our summaries with ppts sooner in 2 weeks. I already had everything planned 4 months ahead, but had to change my plans, because I needed to prepare for exam sooner and make summary out of somewhere. I was really paranoid and couldn’t sleep for couple of days, but later started working my towards exam and finishing my summary. It took me like 5 days, and I did completed everything way before end of the new term. Don’t know how, but I went with it instinctively. It just flowed through me that time and I did it without hesitations. Everything was okay, and I got pretty high grades for exam, ppt, and summary. It usually takes me a week or so to accept changes and then I sometimes barely finish everything in time, sometimes I don’t get things done, depending on my mood and how I feel.
I can also be very stressed out and very paranoid towards extreme changes, because I need to prepare, but I didn’t had (enough) time for myself and/or there was too much pressure on my shoulders. If the change occurs too quickly or pressure is too high, I just drop everything and pass. I can’t work with it, and it’s not going to work for me.
8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Stressful situations often makes me paranoid and puts me through various feelings. I sometimes can be cool with some stressful situations as long as they don’t impact me too much, and everything is under control, otherwise it’s going to be not so cool. In sudden emergency/fast paced situations, I usually work by my gut instincts, can’t explain how, but it works somewhat instinctively. Sometimes I can get berserk and just end up very cold and fast paced. If my emotions are over the top, then everything is for worse. Emotional situations can be hard to handle, since emotions can be my Achille’s heel- it keeps filling up until it blows out later and with unpredictable results, like secretly bursting out crying or angry and punching a wall until I break it or my hand starts to bleed. Logic and intuition, that kind of works in passive manner are my strongest points.
I somehow tend to react differently to sudden and chronic stress. The further is easier to handle, while the latter one makes everything harder and more challenging to accomplish, so I tend to distract myself from it with something else, like pointing out positive points or looking at everything with humor. Chronic stress is horribly hard to handle in general, since it makes me anxious and depressed.
9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Outside of my family and few friends, people rarely see me when I’m enjoying myself or feeling comfortable. I’m usually very private and hate intimacy or being in big groups, probably even too private at some cases. Usually doing something I need, and while that, thinking about tasks I’ll do next, planning things on grind scheme-like or to-do-list lists, and thinking about what will happen next. I think I’m easy to reach, but hard to get something out of me, since I like privacy and I don’t like being interrupted.
10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?
I’m not very social, and more of a pinhead/autist when it comes to social interactions with others. I can be extremely talkative and annoying when I’m around right people, but when I’m surrounded by lots of unknown people that I don’t like or I’m in surroundings don’t feel too comfortable being around, I’m mostly silent as a grave and speak through signs/body language. I’m best at one-on-one interactions or when there are very few people, since it is easier for me to get things done. I usually don’t like getting interrupted or interrupting others, so I usually socialize in very polite ways, just like I learned.
I don’t enjoy group interactions. They are not very bad for me, but they are rather annoying and too unpredictable, because there are lots of people to focus on, and it leaves me really exhausted after spending some time.
11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?
I can’t say much about this. I have very various opinions about social norms, value, and traditions. I’m pretty conservative when it comes to traditions and culture, can’t imagine myself being liberal and accepting diversity. I don’t like humans and trends, so I don’t even chase after them, because it looks stupid. I stay focused on what’s good for me and friends only, I focus on myself rather than others. I’m individualist and pretty much don’t care what social norms are dictating me to do.
12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
I often have problems with authorities, because I don’t get along with them. Following and trusting them might seem nice and dandy, but I don’t trust them very much, since they are not very trustworthy sometimes and they tend to abuse their status. I often catch authorities actually abusing their own status and not following the rules they have set, so I like to ignore all the rules that has been set, and go around the laws and breaking/abusing rules to certain point. Since I live in Lithuania, where almost all laws we get are morally questionable, and can be (ab)used for your own sake, despite that they are strict, I tend to use grey spots and (ab)use them for my own use.
I used to be hipocrite when it came to rules and authority when I was younger. I liked forcing rules on others, seeking for authority, but not following and using them by myself. I didn’t cared much about others, I just wanted order.
Now I see strong importance of rules and laws, but I don’t like strictly enforcing them to others, and I don’t like being pushed around by others. I often try to find flaws and mistakes in the rules/laws we have to deal with, thinking about what could be improved and what could be avoided. If they don’t make sense, I don’t follow them or abuse them for laughing matter to get maximum amount of amusement.
13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
Really depends on situations and places. Handling chaotic surroundings is pretty hard and problematic, even harder is to put it in order. I am very chaotic and impulsive person, and have long story of being such person, but I like putting things in order or to places I want things to stay, so it’s easy for me to access to them. Usually my impulsive behaviour leads me to make too sudden decisions, too much unpredictability, and lots of mistakes, which is why right now I try to be more peaceful and not so impulsive. Now I’m more tactical and leaning more towards planning and well-developed strategies, that might lead me to right direction and see what’s coming. I like being messy as long as I can control the mess surrounding me and I can find what I need.
I don’t mind having my surroundings tidy and in order as long as it’s not annoying and I can find what I need. I like cleaning my place, putting things in order so I can find things easier, but I really hate being scolded by OCD junkies and when people unnecessarily tidy my place or touch things and put them somewhere else, and then complain that I’m slob, or that my junk is not in right order.
As it comes to other kind of order, like planning or schedules, I have no troubles making tight schedules or routines, and sticking to them, but sometimes I suck at completing them, because I sometimes find myself delaying or putting things aside to help others, and when that happens, I become really self-loathing and extremely depressive. For example, one time there was a Steam Winter Sale (Steam is the platform that sell video games) and I planned how I’ll get right trading cards, prepare for exam and will manage to complete all my homework. Everything was planned like for 3 weeks ahead, but unfortunately I lost my internet connection for whole month and parents needed a scapegoat to get their late errands done, so I got really stressed out, sort of depressed, and hated myself for not getting things done the way I wanted to do.
14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?
Honestly, I have a fear that I’ll be a useless trash and won’t achieve anything in my life. I fear that other people will achieve something, and I won’t, that I’ll end up as alone, useless, easily gullible loser with no perspectives, minimal wage, shitty job, no values, absolute nothing, that just lets himself get controlled by the media and will be forever consumer. I also sometimes fear, that there is also nothing to care about, nothing to get done in this life, nothing to learn, nothing to discover, nothing to get to accomplish.
I also fear myself, because I sometimes think, that there is a devil inside me, someone who doesn’t care about anything and wants to manipulate and destroy everything in his way, loves hurting others and killing off everything on his way.
15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?
Can’t answer this one properly and tell you all the details. Right now I don’t know what to believe because of difficult situation in my family, but in high school I used to have high goals in life. Right now I have small amount of long term ones, that are associated with interests in changing my hobbies into some others and maybe even changing perspectives in career. I usually strive for high status that requires some serious work, so maybe I’ll become a scientist, or CEO, or something else, but I can’t talk about it too much, because Murphy is probably going to happen and everything will probably go in opposite direction than I planned.
16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) I get energized when I don’t socialize and there aren’t lots of people around, when I can “zone out” and free my mind by doing something that lets me “lay out”, when I can get things done and not get interrupted too much.
b) Plenty of situations drain me. Mostly social ones, when lots of people are involved and when I get to do things in front of crowds seeing me performing anything, since all attention goes for me and I constantly become strained, and easily become stressed out. What drains me more is lack of order and too much chaos- when surroundings are very loud and distracting I easily lose my track, can’t focus, and get distracted.
17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.
To know my cognitive functions set. I’m not certainly sure what my type is. Probably going to be typed as IxxP or xxSJ, because most of posters here are typed as such and probably because of stereotypes, but w/e. As far as I did tests, I usually got ENTJ or INTJ as my final result. I got INTP/INFP as result in Keys2Cognition once, but I didn’t understood half of questions and skipped the,, since English is not my strongest point, and it’s my third language.
My enneagram is 9, don’t know which side, though.
18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?
Probably wrote everything I wanted and found important to tell you. If you have more questions ask, but please be patient and don’t be a dick, since it takes me some time to understand what’s written.