1. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
Male in early 20s, currently studying in college technology related stuff, about to graduate next year.
Officially, I’m mentally healthy, no noticeable mental problems or signs that I’ve some sort of mental illness. I may seem to look really weird or potentially autistic, since I’m slowpoke in real life, can be very focused, and I can be extremely energetic or too sluggish depending on my mood, but I can assure, that I’m mentally healthy.
2. Study these two images here and here. Which one do you prefer and why? How would you describe it?
I chose the pic with Aurora Borealis, because it seems to be more calm, relieving, and it’s relaxing just by looking at it. Feels like a nice view, and gives me chills by looking at it. The picture with croissants is not so eye attracting to me, since it’s on low resolution and too saturated for me (the effects are kind of an eyesore in my opinion). The landscape seems to be more appealing to me.
3. Please describe yourself as a person if you were to introduce yourself to someone else like in a cover letter. What kind of person are you and why?
As far as I know, I’m often described as very complicated and sometimes scatter-brained person: an airheaded or too goofy by some, or too narrow minded, too driven, and stubborn. I often get complaints/compliments, that I’m natural actor, am overly critical towards others, very self-aloof, brutally honest, very sensitive from inside, extremely bossy, uncaring and blunt towards other people outside, sometimes lazy, irresponsible or too responsible, intelligent, mood-driven, forgetful, spontaneous, and sometimes unpredictable by some other people. My sister sometimes calls me troll/trickster, and tells me to go to live under the bridge or inside computer, etc. because I sometimes like messing around with things or don’t look at things very seriously. Can’t say much about it, but agree at some parts. People usually don’t know what’s rushing in my head, and hates that, they often try to guess what I’m going to do next, or know me too well, and have various opinions towards me.
I often end up driven by mood. If my mood sucks, my whole days sucks and I often make everybody around me feel bad like they are responsible for that, when my mood is good, everything is dandy. Also, when it comes to emotions or feelings, I’m extremely reserved and private and suck ass at expressing myself and my feelings, but sometimes end up reading people. It is always easier to explain things such as mood or what I feel inside by writing down on paper or by doing some sort of meaningful things. I don't feel comfortable letting other people see me expressing my feelings, and often feel that I’d have to justify it. I usually delay them and keep them inside until they break out with a bang and leave me completely cripple or sometimes I let them flow. When it comes towards other people and their feelings, I’m kind of cold and uncaring, but deeply caring and always feeling guilty. The guilt often is so strong, that I can’t think properly sometimes and it’s hard to be selfish for me.
More than that, I’m often driven by philosophical things and few ideas, that I usually get into and barely can let go.
When it comes to social aspects, I’m antisocial person and hate majority of humans. I don’t like socializing very much and find it rather difficult. I’d rather spend time playing video games or studying/reading than socializing with groups of people. When it comes to social interactions with other people, I stay emotionally blunt and straightforward, but initiative and controlling, and tend to twist the discussions where I want, without paying attention to what other people want. I don’t like real life group chats/interactions, and I more prefer to talk to very few people at the same time. I hate casual small talk, because it doesn’t come naturally for me, and I almost always force it and turn it into a deep, long discussions or sometimes even debates. I usually don’t go deeply into details, because details sometimes kill me, makes me anxious, and I can’t memorize them all, that’s why I usually go for “big picture” and stay focused on that. When it comes to interactions, people describe me as analytical and savage, because I usually do “my homework” about what I’m dealing with to learn how to execute problems and successfully get job done and because I’m sharp tongued person, so bullshiting my way out of anywhere is very easy and I can easily get away with it. I sometimes drop some offensive/mean/sarcastic banter or food for thoughts, some people get it, while some others don’t understand it and I leave them offended. I rarely get complimented by others, because I usually easily kill off my reputation and love messing around with everything around me, sometimes experimenting, leaving chaos around, that might be useful to me, despite, that I secretly want to be liked by others, have a good feedback, maybe even make some good contacts.
I also love using excessive amounts of profanity/slurs/curse words, extremely love abusing inside jokes and puns with bants, because it lets me express myself much more easier.
I may seem to look insensitive towards criticism outside, but deep inside, I’m very sensitive and sometimes get offended very quickly. Once I get offended, I become (self)loathing, uncaring, and sometimes physically abusive. I like to stay true to myself, my ideals, and my thoughts, but I somewhat care about others sometimes.
I often got told that I’m natural actor and drama queen by my friends and family, because I find it easy to pretend that something has happened or haven’t at all. I easily get into roles or find it easy to bluff or lie to others, and I rarely feel guilty about it. I can easily pretend that I’m serious, and people often will buy my lies pretty easily. It’s easy for me to be deadpan and act like I’m overly enthusiastic or unenthusiastic in social situations.
Because of that, people sometimes hate me and/or don’t want to mess with me.
My working style sometimes is unpredictable, because I’m kinda dependant on mood. Other people find it hard to work with me due to my impulsive behavior or extreme stubbornness and edginess. I sometimes quickly come up various ideas, but I must think and plan strategically, and think about outcomes, otherwise I’m toast. I suck at improvising and doing things at the present moments or living with past happenings (I just don’t understand reason why people do that), so I’m better at focusing on the future, strategically planning things, and sticking to some ideas I want to get done.
Despite being super serious most of the time, I love humor and jokes, and goofing around. As it comes to humor, I can be complete maniac/troll/trickster. I love laughing, and I love abusing inside jokes, puns, slurs, running gags, stereotypes, and anything else that I can poke fun of. Sister calls me troll because I love abusing things around me and use them for my advantage, and doing lots of pranks/jokes, while my parents call me too sarcastic and sometimes rather call me a mistake. The unhealthy amounts of sarcasm I use often drives people insane and leaves them pissed off or uncomfortable after spending some time with me (it just really depends on topics, situations, and people).
4. What kind of person would you LIKE to be? Why? What kind of person would you NOT want to be? Why?
Honestly, I sometimes feel like I’m horrible person and that I’m just a waste of oxygen in this world, because I somewhat feel that I lack understanding, vision, wider opinion towards certain things. When it comes to intelligence, I wish I had stronger vision, better memory, was a better listener, and was more driven when it comes to learning and leaning towards power, because sometimes I feel like I’m not intellectually appealing and intelligent enough, not powerful enough, as I appear to be incredibly shallow, very shy, somewhat goofy and lazy, and narrow minded when intellectual/philosophical discussions occur. I also wish I was more tolerant and caring towards others, responsible and had a stronger spine, because in some cases I’m very cold and in most of the case I’m extremely selfish, and don’t help others, because I don’t know how to help them or end up whoring for attention/help.
I would hate to be too soft, spineless, and overly sensitive person with completely no vision, the one that has no opinion and no clue what’s happening around. I kinda could accept it in some other people, but not in myself.
5. Do you think there are any differences to how you described yourself and how people actually perceive you? How do you think others would describe you? If there are any discrepancies between these two that are you are aware of; do you know why exactly that is?
Don’t think so, but maybe there are. I kind of don’t see a need to ask how they perceive me. People probably see me differently, depending on each individual’s opinion and their personal needs. Some might see me as an ideal or good reliable person, others might do opposite, etc.
I’m not a very big fan of comparing myself next to others and nagging others to tell me what they think about me, and ask how great or bad I’m, because it feels really wrong, but sometimes from time to time, I like to ask others out of curiosity on right situation to know how things are, and make secret narcissist deep inside me feel happy, but not too much.
6. What in life do you find to be of importance? Why? If you are unsure you can always take the Value Test and post the results here. Do note that it helps if you narrow it down to 20 or ideally 10 values as suggested at stage 2.
Describing my values can be problematic for me. I don’t think about them very deeply, but I have them and I stay true to myself. I don’t like when I get forced somebody’s else values down my throat, so I stick to myself. I’m pretty conservative person, but often pointed out being careless, passive, lazy, and childish. Ironically, I’m somewhat action packed sometimes, and I sometimes like being on the move, but not too much. I don’t like unpredictable and very fast changes, because they are killing me, but I like manipulating and messing around with what others bring. I like thinking about challenging situations, having my mindset clear, thinking about rational decisions, sometimes using my gut instincts to accomplish physical things, and overcome somewhat uncomfortable urges to do something, having something to discover. I can be short fused towards other people sometimes, but most of the time I’m pretty chill and honest, sometime even too honest and too loyal.
I value intelligence, efficiency, competence, and tolerance, but can’t really tolerate inefficiency, laziness, and too big childishness. Don’t have opinion about stupidity and narrow mindedness, since I probably AM that kind of person.
Value test results: (I picked about 15/under 20, because description said it would take lots of time, I could have picked up more, but it would have taken tons of time to me, and I’m too lazy to click on buttons for several hours until I get few hundred something questions completed)
1.Health; 2.Learning; 3.Honesty; 4.Truth; 5.Efficiency; 6.Reason; 7.Vitality 8.Curiosity; 9.Humor; 10.Faith.
7. How do you react to new situations in your life? Can you describe an event in your life where you were in an unknown situation? How did you deal with it?
It generally takes me some time to accept new things/changes and know the situation I’m dealing with. When something new and very unexpected happens, I sometimes get extremely stressed and sometimes even paranoid, but in some of other cases I’m trying to stay calm and try to analyze situation I’m dealing with. I have to think everything all over again, and plan everything from scratch again, which sucks.
As an example I probably will take some of my college experience. One subject was getting cut completely and 5 months sooner than it was planned, due to budget cut, so we all had to finish our summaries with ppts sooner in 2 weeks. I already had everything planned 4 months ahead, but had to change my plans, because I needed to prepare for exam sooner and make summary out of somewhere. I was really paranoid and couldn’t sleep for couple of days, but later started working my towards exam and finishing my summary. It took me like 5 days, and I did completed everything way before end of the new term. Don’t know how, but I went with it instinctively. It just flowed through me that time and I did it without hesitations. Everything was okay, and I got pretty high grades for exam, ppt, and summary. It usually takes me a week or so to accept changes and then I sometimes barely finish everything in time, sometimes I don’t get things done, depending on my mood and how I feel.
I can also be very stressed out and very paranoid towards extreme changes, because I need to prepare, but I didn’t had (enough) time for myself and/or there was too much pressure on my shoulders. If the change occurs too quickly or pressure is too high, I just drop everything and pass. I can’t work with it, and it’s not going to work for me.
8. Please describe yourself when you are in a stressful situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Stressful situations often makes me paranoid and puts me through various feelings. I sometimes can be cool with some stressful situations as long as they don’t impact me too much, and everything is under control, otherwise it’s going to be not so cool. In sudden emergency/fast paced situations, I usually work by my gut instincts, can’t explain how, but it works somewhat instinctively. Sometimes I can get berserk and just end up very cold and (too) fast paced. If my emotions are over the top, then everything is for worse. I’m good with handling emotions and hiding them, but extremely emotional situations can be hard to handle, since emotions can be my Achill’s heel- it keeps filling up until it blows out later and with unpredictable results, like secretly bursting out crying or angry and punching a wall until I break it or my hand starts to bleed. Logic and intuition, that kind of works in passive manner are my strongest points.
I somehow tend to react differently to sudden and chronic stress. The further is easier to handle, while the latter one makes everything harder and more challenging to accomplish, so I tend to distract myself from it with something else, like pointing out positive points or looking at everything with humor, getting myself cheered up. Chronic stress is horribly hard to handle in general, since it makes me anxious, depressed, feeling guilty, and very self-loathing.
9. Please describe yourself when you are in an enjoyable situation. How do you act and why? Real life experiences are welcome.
Outside of my family and few friends, people rarely see me when I’m enjoying myself or feeling comfortable. I’m usually very private and hate intimacy or being in big groups, probably even too private at some cases. I don’t like letting others find me, I more prefer find other people by myself. Usually doing something I need, and while that, thinking about tasks I’ll do next, planning things on grind scheme-like or to-do-list lists, and thinking about what will happen next. In general, I think I’m somewhat easy to reach, but hard to get something out of me, since I like privacy and I don’t like being interrupted.
10. Describe your relationship to socialization. How do you perceive one-on-one interaction? How do you perceive group interaction?
I’m not very social, and more of a pinhead/autist when it comes to social interactions with others. I can be extremely talkative and annoying when I’m around right people, but when I’m surrounded by lots of unknown people that I don’t like or I’m in surroundings don’t feel too comfortable being around, I’m mostly silent as a grave and speak through signs/body language. I’m best at one-on-one interactions or when there are very few people, since it is easier for me to get things done. I usually don’t like getting interrupted or interrupting others, so I usually socialize in very polite and kind ways, just like I learned. If there is a need or I’m disturbed, I can be really rude.
I don’t enjoy group interactions. They are not very bad for me, but they are rather annoying and too unpredictable, because there are lots of people to focus on, and it leaves me really exhausted after spending some time.
11. Describe your relationship to society. What are the elements of it you hold important or unimportant (e.g. social norms, values, customs, traditions)? How do you see people as a whole?
I can’t say much about this. I have very various opinions about social norms, value, and traditions. I’m pretty conservative when it comes to traditions and culture, can’t imagine myself being liberal and accepting diversity. I don’t like humans and trends, so I don’t even chase after them, because it looks stupid. I stay focused on what’s good for me and friends only, I focus on myself rather than others. I’m individualist and pretty much don’t care what social norms are dictating me to do.
12. Describe your relationship to authority. How do you perceive authority? What does it mean to you, and how do you deal with it?
I often have problems with authorities, because I often don’t get along with them. Following and trusting them might seem nice and dandy, but I don’t trust them very much, since they are not very trustworthy sometimes and they tend to abuse their own status. I often catch authorities actually abusing their own status and not following the rules they have set, but I keep my head down and stay silent about that. I often ignore all the rules that has been set, and go around the laws and breaking/abusing rules to certain point. Since I live in Lithuania, where most of laws we get are morally questionable, and can be (ab)used for your own sake (depends on perspective and how it’s written), I tend to use the loopholes/grey spots and use them for my own good. Generally, I don’t mind getting myself dirty if the time is right and I have to do it, but I do not like getting dirty very much.
I used to be hipocrite when it came to rules and authority when I was younger. I liked forcing rules on others, seeking for authority, but not following and using them by myself. I didn’t cared much about others, I just wanted order.
Now I see strong importance of rules and laws, but I don’t like strictly enforcing them to others, and I don’t like being pushed around by others. I often try to find flaws and mistakes in the rules/laws we have to deal with, thinking about what could be improved and what could be avoided. If they don’t make sense, I don’t follow them or abuse them for fun matter or my own good.
13. Describe your relationship to order and chaos. What do order and chaos mean to you? How do they manifest in your daily life?
Really depends on situations and places. Handling chaotic surroundings is pretty hard and problematic, even harder is to put it in order. I am very chaotic and impulsive person, and have long story of being such person, but I like putting things in order or to places I want things to stay, so it’s easy for me to access to them. Usually my impulsive behaviour leads me to make too sudden decisions, too much unpredictability, and lots of mistakes, which is why right now I try to be more peaceful and not so impulsive. Now I’m more tactical and leaning more towards planning and well-developed strategies, that might lead me to right direction and see what’s coming. I like being messy as long as I can control the mess surrounding me and I can find what I need.
I don’t mind having my surroundings tidy and in order as long as it’s not annoying and I can find what I need. I like cleaning my place, putting things in order so I can find things easier, but I really hate being scolded by OCD junkies and when people unnecessarily tidy my place or touch things and put them somewhere else, and then complain that I’m slob, or that my junk is not in right order.
As it comes to other kind of order, like planning or schedules, I have no troubles making tight schedules or routines, and sticking to them, but sometimes I suck at completing them, because I sometimes find myself delaying or putting things aside to help others, and when that happens, I become really self-loathing and extremely depressive. For example, one time there was a Steam Winter Sale (Steam is the platform that sells video games) and I planned how I’ll get right trading cards, prepare for exam and will manage to complete all my homework. Everything was planned like for 3 weeks ahead, but unfortunately I lost my internet connection for whole month and parents needed a scapegoat to get their late errands done because they were too late, so I got really stressed out, sort of depressed, and hated myself for not getting things done the way I wanted to do.
14. What is it that you fear in life? Why? How does this fear manifest to you both in how you think and how you act?
Honestly, I have a fear that I’ll be a useless trash and won’t achieve anything in my life. I fear that other people will achieve something, and I won’t, that I’ll end up as alone, useless, easily gullible loser with no perspectives, minimal wage, shitty job, no values, no vision, absolute nothing, that just lets himself get controlled by the media and will be forever consumer. I also sometimes fear, that there is also nothing to care about, nothing to get done in this life, nothing to learn, nothing to discover, nothing to get to accomplish.
I also sometimes fear that I will lose myself completely and do tons of harm to others, because once something bad happens or when I reach certain break point, I can become very destructive and manipulative, someone who is driven no matter what, doesn’t care about anything and wants to manipulate others and destroy everything in his way, loves hurting others and killing off everything on his way.
15. What is it that you desire in life? What do you strive to achieve? Why? Where do you think these drives and desires stem from or are inspired by?
Can’t answer this one properly and tell you all the details. Right now I don’t know what to believe because of difficult situation in my family, but in high school I used to have high goals in life until I got into alcoholism and masturbation addictions, that were solved later on. Right now before I graduate from college, I have small amount of long term ones, that are associated with interests in changing my hobbies into some others that will be useful, and maybe even changing perspectives in career. I usually strive for high status that requires some serious work, but am too lazy to be responsible, and will most likely learn it anyway, so maybe I’ll become a scientist, or CEO, or something else, but I can’t talk too much about it, because Murphy can happen and everything will probably go in wild direction, probably even opposite and different than I planned.
16. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
a) I get energized when I don’t socialize and there aren’t lots of people around, when I can “zone out” and free my mind by doing something that lets me “lay out”, when I can get things done and not get interrupted too much, when I can plan and think about near future, but I also sometimes get energized after getting good vibes while spending time with someone else who is dear to me.
b) Plenty of situations drain me. Mostly social ones, when lots of people are involved and when I get to do things in front of crowds seeing me performing anything or giving public speeches, since all attention goes for me and I constantly become strained, and easily become stressed out. What drains me more is lack of order and too much chaos- when surroundings are very loud and distracting I easily lose my track, can’t focus, and get distracted.
17. Why do you want to know your type? What type do you think you are? Why this/these type(s)? Is there a type that appeals to you, to your self-perception, that you would like to be? Why? If you know your enneagram, please post this here. If you have done any online function tests such as the Keys2Cognition, it helps if you post these results here as well.
I want to know my type and why/how it happens because I’m not sure what my type is. I think that I have high Se/Ne, and probably am either IxxP or xxFJ/xxTJ. Not sure which functions are dominant ones, though.
As far as I did tests, I usually got ENTJ or INTJ as my final result. I got INTP/INFP as result in Keys2Cognition once, but I didn’t took it seriously, since functions and some questions there are defined really poorly, and didn’t understood some of questions and just skipped them.
My enneagram is 9w8.
18. Finally, is there something else you find to be of importance you want to add about yourself you think might be of relevance when helping to type you?
Probably wrote almost everything I wanted and found important to tell you. What else I could write is, that I’m pretty skeptical and extremely cynical person. Whenever something happens, I happen to crack a joke or a pun/one-liner or say something mean, harsh, but true statement. I like commenting on trending or new happenings, and telling the truth. When speaking casually with my friends, most of stuff I say is without filters, so for some I may seem to be too offensive.