Hi! I'm an INTJ and I'm desperately trying to figure out my enneagram type. I've taken multiple quizzes and come up with 5 or 1 every time, but I can't seem to figure which is the best fit.
*disclaimer, I just heard about the enneagram types last week, and I am not as familiar with all the types and the wings etc. so whatever reply you have I would love details and more information. Especially the "why" - classic INTJ.
Descriptions are from a link online that I can't source since I don't have enough posts yet.
My comments on the description come after the dash - whether I agree or disagree and why.
What I agree and disagree with from each type:
How To Get Along With Me
Be independent, not clingy - clinginess is welcome, but only from select special people (i.e. romantic partner), everyone else should go away.
Speak in a straightforward and brief manner - yes on the straightforward, but I love a good complex conversation, so if you need to be lengthy in an explanation, absolutely! Just don't repeat the same concept 4 different ways because if I didn't understand the first time I would have asked.
I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts - yes, but I can usually find that time even when around people, but it has to be the right environment. For example, when there are people but it is quiet - school. Or with my romantic partner when we're just in the same room doing separate activities.
Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable - I wouldn't use those words, I would just say "reserved and quiet" but I may be analyzing the language too closely.
Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity - Not exactly, I'm pretty good at judging sincerity either way, so if your natural welcome is rather intense, I'm not likely to doubt that it's genuine.
If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place - I become more irritated when other people repeat things to me, when I usually understand the first time. I have no issues repeating myself if someone doesn't understand a concept and is genuinely interested in the topic.
don't come on like a bulldozer - not even sure what this sentence is supposed to indicate.
Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy - I mean, sure. But I don't usually need help avoiding those.
What I Like About Being a Five
Standing back and viewing life objectively.
Coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects.
My sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure.
Not being caught up in material possessions and status.
Being calm in a crisis.
- I'd say all these are fairly accurate.
What's Hard About Being a Five
Being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world - eh, I'm pretty passionate and excited about my ideas, and usually have no issue sharing.
Feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all - as happens all-to-frequently.
Being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be - I mean, anyone who knows me knows not to do this... so I never have to deal with this.
Watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally - eh, good for them. Social skills are not inferior to intelligence, and is something I do need to work on (but I'm not bad socially).
How to Get Along with Me
Take your share of the responsibility so I don't end up with all the work - If we're doing a group project, yeah totally, but I avoid groups at all costs.
Acknowledge my achievements - only if you're in my circle, otherwise I don't care very much.
I'm hard on myself. Reassure me that I'm fine the way I am - I'm hard on myself, but not so hard that I don't reach my goals (normally), I have a lot of self confidence. You probably would just need to reassure me that you actually like me just as a person, as I am usually suspicious of other's intentions.
Tell me that you value my advice -yes.
Be fair and considerate, as I am - yes.
Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me to forgive - I forgive with or without an apology because I don't need to carry around your burden, but I do expect you to apologize if you want my trust and confidence. But an apology doesn't count if I don't believe it's genuine.
Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first - I'm usually very upbeat, always smiling and usually positive.
What I Like About Being a One
Being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal - yes.
Working hard to make the world a better place - I mostly work to make myself a better person, but I wouldn't complain if I made the world a bit better too.
Having high standards and ethics; not compromising myself.
Being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do -yes.
Being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions -yes.
Being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people - yes, and no? I don't know that I bring out the best in a lot of people. Some people, maybe. But it's not on purpose.
What's Hard About Being a One
Being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met - I usually am more disappointed with others because I usually meet my expectations and I usually set too high of expectations for others.
Feeling burdened by too much responsibility - nah, I choose my own responsibilities.
Thinking that what I do is never good enough - actually I'm quite pleased with a lot of things I do! I'm a composer and I am usually quite proud of what I create.
Not being appreciated for what I do for people - why would I be appreciated? I don't do a whole lot for other people, unless I really care about them, and those people usually appreciate what I do.
Being upset because others aren't trying as hard as I am - sometimes, but I've come to the conclusion that if they want to do things halfway, that's their life and it doesn't matter to me. Unless I'm forced into a group project, then I just resign myself to the fact that I'll end up doing 90% of the work and they'll still get credit for it.
Obsessing about what I did or what I should do - maybe about what I should do, but that's just why I'm so productive.
Being tense, anxious, and taking things too seriously - I'm not usually tense or anxious, but sometimes I can take things pretty seriously, but things like school and work are meant to be taken seriously so....
Please not that this is completely out of curiosity, I will take every suggestion with a grain of salt. I understand that it's a flawed test that will not always produce accurate results. I just want to know the opinions and thoughts of people who have more experience and knowledge in this subject!