Hello guys! I've been lurking on this forum for a while, I find it super entertaining and interesting.
Let's dive right into this:
I've been doing tests for years now, and I kept getting ENFJ. However recently I've been only getting ENFP (and sometimes INFP) on 16personalities. I have changed a lot these past 2 years so I understand why the results could be different. However - I still get ENFJ sometimes!!! I got ENFP a week ago, but today I just got ENFJ! So I'm thinking a lot of my answers depend on my current state of mind (which changes), otherwise I can't explain it. My results are usually in the middle, especially for E/I (I usually get around 55% for E and 45% for I), and for J/P as well (usually 51% and 49%). My N and F are a bit stronger though, they never change. So for now I would say I am xNFx. Probably ENFx. --> this is based only on 16personalities.
When reading about these personality types, I find I resonate more with ENFP than with ENFJ (on 16personalities), but I'm not sure. ENFP description makes it seem like they are the most irrational and wildest beings ever, and I don't think that's true with me (or every ENFP for that matter).
Truity also says ENFJ, but the results are quite ambiguous: 65% E & 35% I, 46% S & 54% N, 45% T & 55% F, 48% P & 52% J.
A few things about myself:
- I have both ENFJ and ENFP friends. They fit really well with their particular type descriptions. However I feel like I'm a mix of the two so to speak. I am much closer to my ENFJ friend though. Much more reliable and careful with people's feelings than my ENFP friend. However I know they are individual people so I can't really generalize.
- I prefer to be REAL. And I'm always focused on self-improvement :)
- I consider feelings AND facts when making decisions. I usually go with the feeling though I think.
- I try to rationalize stuff.
- I worry a lot.
- I am very independent.
- I am very happy to help people, but I don't LIVE to help/serve people.
- My natural friends are N types. I usually go for S partners though because I feel we "complete" each other and it's a wonderful experience, they keep me grounded and I love the different perspectives that meet in the middle so to speak.
- Not sure if relevant but I am a true hopeless romantic and I feel things very deeply. For me words of affirmation are very very important because COMMUNICATION and HONESTY are everything to me. I would also need quality time. I am extremely loyal and devoted, I love the idea of long term relationships and marriage. I absolutely DESPISE the idea of cheating and the idea of casual flings. I think I resemble ISFJs a lot when it comes to the topic of love and whatnot. I would do anything to make my partner happy :) and for me deep, meaningful relationships where I feel some sort of spiritual connection with the partner are very important.
- When people do something, I try to understand where they are coming from and analyse their thoughts. So for example if my SO did/said something to hurt me, I would ask questions - why he did that, why he thinks he did that, what is wrong, what is the cause of this situation etc. Basically I need to understand the motives behind people's actions to understand how they think and assess the situation and see if I can forgive them or not / decide how to behave from then on.
- I am very good at "feeling" the unspoken rules in a situation/social setting and adapt my behaviour accordingly. I really do "pretend" sometimes in social settings (if the people are NOT close to me) so that I can adapt to any particular situation successfully, and to make people feel at ease. However, I still maintain some sense of 'integrity' and honesty - meaning that I do say what's on my mind even if it might hurt someone, but ONLY if I think the problem is worth mentioning and really should be addressed. If it's something minor I just let it slide, it's not worth mentioning it and arguing about nothing/creating conflict over small insignificant things.
- I am extremely insightful and introspective. I always try to analyse my thoughts and feelings, and I overthink EVERYTHING. However I am very good at switching between "feeling" and "thinking". If the situation calls for it, I can completely switch off my feelings and can seem even "cold" - that's when logic and reason kick in. This way I can solve conflict in a calm, effective and peaceful manner relatively easily. I also prefer to talk problems through rather than wait for them to become conflicts. This is why I say what I think if there's a problem, instead of bottling everything up.
- I am definitely not as wild/crazy as these websites make ENFP seem. I am social and super friendly yes, but not the "life of the party". Everyone who knows me says that I come across as an extrovert. I really do believe I'm an extroverted introvert or an introverted extrovert (lol) because I'm in my head so much, and sometimes I just don't feel like going out. I also zone out and daydream.
- I am also very bad at practical stuff and I hate myself for it. I feel helpless and I hate it, because I actually love the idea of organisation and structure! It makes my life so much easier... when I manage to make it work...
- Yes I love to be adventurous and I LIVE FOR NEW EXPERIENCES!!! I'm really excited to see everything the world has to offer. Because I believe life is short and you have to experience as much as you can :) there's always something new and interesting out there. I'm very much an optimist I think. But I try to stay as realistic as possible.
- That doesn't mean I don't appreciate routine and tradition. I do, and I need more of it in my life because otherwise I am extremely disorganized.
- I am a VERY goal-oriented person and ALWAYS think about the future. I would do anything to achieve my goals as long as it doesn't hurt other people or as long as it doesn't clash with my own inner belief system. But yes I HAVE to achieve my goals or otherwise I will not be happy with myself.
- I am generally quite hard on myself and VERY impatient. I also lose my focus easily when I have to do some university coursework or whatever. But I think this is also because I really don't like what I'm studying right now (technical engineering abstract stuff, maths, coding - UGH!!!). For me it's really important that I'm passionate about what I do... However I am the opposite with other people: very understanding, caring, patient. I am softer with them than I am with myself. Because I have very high standards for myself.
- I am very honest and bold. I can easily say NO. I say this because I noticed that my ENFJ used to have a lot of trouble in the past with saying NO. She literally couldn't do it.
- I LOVE making plans and organising stuff!!! It's just hard to stick to them.... and I procrastinate, A LOT! I try not to! But again I think it's because I really don't like what I study right now and the only thing that keeps me going is my ambition and knowing that my studies will guarantee me a successful future. Which is what I want from my future - security and stability. But in general it is very important to me to be passionate about what I do.
- I like to wonder about life and the mysteries of the universe and have philosophical discussions of this sort. But I also love to talk about normal day-to-day stuff because I prefer to feel more grounded.
- I can't be close friends with someone if I don't feel a connection. I'm very picky about my close friends. I feel the need to connect with them on a deeper level. I think this is where my intuition kicks in and I assume a lot about people without taking the time to get to know them well enough, which is a bit unfair. Otherwise I have lots of casual friends but they are not quite as important to me...
- I feel like I am quite the subjective person, but I can be scarily objective if the situation calls for it.
- I'm always on time, I hate making a bad impression (if I don't know the person too well).
- I also feel like I am full of contradictions and it's confusing!!!! Or balanced? It's weird.
So I am asking you guys if you have any helpful insight or if there are more reliable tests that I could try! I personally don't believe anyone is just ONE type and we all use a bit of everything, but it would be nice to know which type is my dominant one because I would really like to understand myself better. Thanks! :)