Hey, so I have had plenty of trouble narrowing down my type, and have been into typology for quite a while. I cannot recognize which functions I use as a dominant one, so I played the narrowing down game and cancelled out the obvious ones. I am def not a thinker, Si, or Ni dom for sure. But, I do know I am an Enneagram 7. So lets get into it!
-I am in love with a sport (not gonna mention for reasons lel), and play every day after school and love the practice and the feeling of satisfaction and purpose after a good training session. I have a dream of becoming a pro, and actually watch a lot of the sport, weight train, read articles on nutrition on fitness a lot.
-I read fiction, and like getting cozy with a book. i like fantasy a lot.
-I am in a period of a bit of lonlieness, so I got hooked onto How I met your mother, and friends, big bang theory that kinda helps me fill my daily "social glass", makes me feel like I have friends, and also lets me feel comfort in the fact that thats possible in the future and I could have a life like that.
-I used to be obsessed with gaming- mainly Call of Duty and other games, love playing with friends and having a team and shooting up zombies together and winning games and getting better and showing off.
-Every Friday, I watch a movie after training and going home, and every weekend I hang out with friends.
Social Life and Interactions (mainly at school)-
-Well, I have one BEST friend who I am with 24 7, we are constantly talking about nonsense and our wavelengths of humor are so similar, we literally can make each laugh so much. After him, I made a good friend in drama, I love drama because I get to make random nonsensical skits and make the class laugh. I do have a lot of acquaintances, but not close with anyone except 2 people. And I would rather hang out with 2 people than 5 people who im not close with.
-I realized, I kinda rely on my brother for social interaction. We have some family friends who are of his age, and when they come over I kinda j chill with them and 4rth wheel, but hey, its still really fun.
-I have heavily conscious of whether or not people are looking at me, how I look, if I come off as cool or not, what I say, I have a need not only to be accepted, but be known as cool and awsome, which does cause social anxiety sometimes
-When talking to people, what they say and how they said it can trigger a series of "gut feelings" in my that is basically- "A shitload of info that can be put in words properly given time, but doesnt need to because i know what it means"....like I am confident in them because I can put 2 and 2 together. Like I can tell when someone is being fake, and when I try explaing it to my friend why I think so, I come off as so judgmental and what I say doesnt make sense, but in my head I know it makes sense, i cant explain it.
-Although I do not have a crush rn, one thing that is characteristic of me is that when I crush, I crush hard. When I am in the car or listening to a love song, they come to my mind. I imagine scenarios with them, like romantic scenarios and conversations and their perceptions of me and stuff, and when I do see them in real life, I end up avoiding them. I cannot bring myself to talk to them. But I love their presence a lot, and feel a bit depressed when the class is over and I end up fantasizing the next period and rant to my friend, who got tired of this bs long ago
-After social interactions and stuff, I end up imagining "mental videos"- replays, maybe what I could have said, how it went, etc etc.
-I feel vibes strongly- I realized this when I went through a period of numbness- I remembered each song, each room, each moment had a distinct vibe to it. A rainy night in a certain city, riding in the car looking at the road, bars, and stuff, had distinct homy, romantic vibe.
-I see responsibilites as a chore, but are of utmost importance. Although i manage school, if my grades are below an A (i know, eeww), I get freaked out and I need to bring it up. I cannot explain, but grades are just something that I need to keep high. Whenever I do homework or go to school, I have an anxious moments where I worry if I forgot something, and sometimes I do, and feel unprepared and anxious.
What I suck at
-I hate the sheer amount of homework we get, 7 periods a day is way to stimulating, and I procrastinate so much at home and binge shows, youtube, and askreddit. If I have extra time, I tell myself "I will take me well needed break now, and work tomorow" like I know I am repeating a mistake I did in the past, but I have a confidence that I will get it done. But I dont, and its the exact same thing over and over again.
-Because I am always stressed about homework, I cant enjoy life- I want to watch shows and learn from them about how to make friends and just expose myself to the possibilites a youngster like me can have in the world, and workout and diet and explore hobbies for enjoyment, but I have no time to do these, and do not feel like I deserve to do these, unless I do my hw.
-I have always felt like I was picked out, and given inferiorities. Dont get me wrong, I am not bad looking, but more like I am the leader of the underdogs. I barely miss the cut for the "cool kids" if you know what I mean. I have 2 best friends- both gifted in looks, smarts...well the are rare specimens. I never once felt happy for them, just jealous. I am insecure of all the attention they get, and how even if I work hard I will never reach what they were born with. This created social anxiety that built up over time, feeling inferior and feeling like I needed to prove my superiority or something.
-I am too lazy to be organized, desire control over my life while also seeing it as tedious and boring.
-I give up at the face of hardship. Like if I had an assignment due in 30 minutes and could finish if I pushed really hard, I dont. Others would push through and concentrete and feel victorious after, I jus accept defeat. Even with depressive episodes or something bad happening in my life, I cant fight back, but instead need time to wallow in my feelings.
-Also, one thing I realized, I suck at aurguments. I cannot think clearly, and when someone says something sometimes I have a flash in my mind that I know will f*** their aurgument up, but forget mid sentence because I am constantly taking in input, processing it, thinking abut what I will say, and its too much for me. Often after the arugment is when I have the perfect counter reply in my head when I go over (video replays) of what they said.
-I care too much about what people think of me. Even before social anxiety, I was really aware of people and where their attention was and loved to show off and stuff.
Those were just some things that if I think back, and some were brought up recently, these are some weaknesses I see in myself.