A subreddit uses this questionnaire for typing, and I decided to post there. However, the responses lacked anything that left me satisfied. It would be better if I added a little more onto this one rather than making a new one.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
18. Male. I dislike describing myself due to the possibility that I may delude some of my traits.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
I never received a mental diagnosis. I would like one though because I struggle in evaluating my own mental health.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
My parents separated when I was 10. A year later they came back together until a divorce at 12. I live with my mom. My mother was in a very poor place of mind about four years ago to the point where it threatened her life. This is important because, even though she moved past this, I try to please her in every I can out of fear for of another episode. This desire gets in the way of any self-improvement for me. I dare to not stand up against her. This stunts any development for myself because I fear any risk I take negatively affects her. I become her model son even though our values differ from each other. She likes the more traditional values in life.
I attend a Lutheran church. I go to service almost every week since I was 10. I'm profane due a lack of feeling towards a god. It is not due to sort of disillusion from outside sources. Our church focuses more on broad values more than studying exegeses, luckily. I fake my spirituality to please my mom (who would be harsh to me even though she doesn't attend services) and my family on my mother's side. My grandpa, great grandparents, uncles, aunts, and some cousins all attend. Our family goes by routine. We eat lunch together every Sunday. A few of us eat breakfast together every Saturday. That makes deviating from my family all the more difficult.
This monotony sickens me. I never understand how people like it. Yet, I feel guilty for disliking a stable domestic life since I receive such generosity and live in conditions that most people would envy. I tolerate this inner conflict knowing I go to college next year. It will be an hour away (but I truly wanted to go out of state), so I still will be trapped in some of these obligations.
My relationship with my dad and his side of the family is estranged. I visit like once every two or three months. He's fine now, but the reasons for the divorce makes his amends slow.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I would love it. I live with my two sisters and my mother. My grandparents live down the street. Separating my life from theirs is impossible. It just sucks. We work as a collective, so any deviation from the norm will be scrutinized. Freedom like that would be utilized with joy.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I read. I like writing, but I never really express myself through writing because any shared personal conflict will burden my family, so I'm waiting to move out until I make an earnest attempt with my works.
I appreciate sports. I played soccer and tennis in high school. I wanted to quit soccer (because I started to feel dispassionate about for a few years) during my senior year, but I felt guilty bailing my friends, so I stuck with it. I regret playing tennis, too. I loved it freshmen year. It was an opportunity of self-growth, new connections, and expressing whole-hearted devotion without judgement. I failed to grow. My connections were superficial. I lost so many times to the point where I accepted that I just wasted many, many hours of my life.
My family loves watching sports, so I learned all the rules to all the major sports. It's a medium that allows me to talk to family, if anything.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I have no idea how I compare to others as far as curiosity goes. I mean, being unconcerned with the life around you would be considered a negative trait, so I think most people would want to believe themselves as curious.
I suppose that I indulge in some my favorite shows with more curiosity than others. I started watching anime analysis videos two years ago which improved my critical thinking skills. Analyses really improves my enjoyment of a show while at the same time gives me ideas on how I can execute my writing.
People also interest me. I sit in the middle of classes so I can switch between observing and interacting whenever I please. I suppose my curiosity for the human condition further strengthens my enjoyment for writing.
I dislike the environment, but I understand its importance. Perfectly understanding a setting for novel must be a requirement for me because if I understand something inside and out then I would know all of options to include into a story. Knowing my options allows me to pick the best option.
To give an example, I wrote a descriptive essay a few months ago. It involved a huge conch. I care about conchs about as much you do, but I knew that writing something so underused would help me understand how to research physical details. Plus, the essay mainly focused on that conch because everything basically revolved around it, including the symbolic and thematic elements In the end, I learned some terms that may become useful later on, so learning about the physical environment helps me enhance my conceptual ideas.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
No. For some reason, I struggle in explaining why. Perhaps it's a knee jerk reaction related to some unknown, deep-rooted self-esteem issues. I know I lead better if the thing that needs leadership allows more planning (e.g. planning a collaborative essay). Leadership that requires in-the-moment decisions (e.g. leading a soccer team) overwhelms me. I like leadership that involves a lot of communication because it degrades my position of power. I want to come to a point where everybody will feel satisfied with the plan.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
It varies. For some reason, my coordination in four-square and some video games works well. Yet, I whiff my tennis serves at times (and I literally only see myself doing this in my area), trip up staircases easily, and, just recently, cut my lip while sealing an envelope. There's more, but I think you get the point.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Like I said, I like writing, but I don't write. In novels, I like contemporary coming-of-age (probably because I yearn for that journey that these novels provide), but in anime I like fantasy. Character-driven fantasy in anime is a real treat, so I probably should try to see if any novels cater to me.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
This seems very vague and situational. I'll skip this one.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Does this refer to my internal values or the external... everything? Also vague.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Also situational, but I'll bite. I think everything holds purpose. Whether that be playing tennis during high school or publishing my first book. I need to reflect onto my values to see which action would be the most beneficial to me. I examine my values and determine their net worth. While I can't quantify that, I try my best internally. For example, I would not turn in homework if it prevented the possibility of an impending burnout which would hurt me in the long term. I make the wrong decisions a lot, but I try to find the silver lining.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I control how people perceive me. I attempt to give off more of a reactive, impersonal persona rather than the opposite of that. I add hints of personality every now and then, but that is merely a means to blend into my environment easier.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
Writing, as I wrote earlier. I like it because it gives opportunities to do anything. It lets me critically think and explore a variety of interests. It allows me to observe and be creative. It allows me to be genuine. I love consuming works of fiction and it would be great to be one of those works that inspires that same passion I hold.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I've learned most of my writing skills from the internet. (My high school English department frustrates me.) I watch reviews and analyses to understand and the concepts and tools that make a piece of exist and use the ones that would be most beneficial to a work.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
My strategizing with time is pretty bad. The projects themselves, however, always need structure. I make and stick my purpose of my projects that I care about (if I have control over it). I need my projects to be perfect. I feel dissatisfied winging parts of my essay, and I only do that when time constraints force me to. I classify myself as a plotter rather than a pantser.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
To become an author. Personally, and I know my warped values make this belief a little unhealthy, I want be part of a journey like a character in a story. I want to suffer and grow from my failures. I want to confront and overcome my shortcomings. I want the wisdom to succor others. Basically, I want to live a life similar to characters in entertainment that I attach myself to.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I fear that my life will continue as it is. Conflict makes me uncomfortable. I have this tendency cover my ears when I sense it somewhere in public. I do this when an awkward/embarrassing moment to a person/character I care for, too.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I used to daydream more. I still can daydream, but life calls for so much attention to reality. This past year, my family got this dog. It does not shut up. How do I daydream with that? My friends expect me to interact with them in class, so it would be a disservice to them to daydream. I enjoy daydreaming, and I still get to during church services, but I lack the opportunity to now.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
Why am I alone in an empty room? I would probably think about a way to get out of the room because I can do introspective musings better if some outside sources (like the internet) helped guide me.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
A recent example would be finding an out-of-state college. It took hours and hours to figure what schools I wanted. I felt content with the three schools I narrowed it down to, but then those fell through.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I choose to repress them. I can't confide to my friends (there's a few reasons for that), and I refuse to confide to my family. Still, I recognize them quickly. Once my last high school tennis match ended that happened like a week ago, I acted sort of cold but mainly okay. I managed to keep my emotions in check until I came home and cried for thirty minutes alone. Also, I love character-driven stories, so I usually absorb their (usually negative) feelings pretty easily (without expressing it, of course).
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
If I consider the disagreement minor, then yeah. I'll agree if there's no real consequences to it. I hold my ground more with my friends, (like 2) though, since a little conflict might be productive in a friendship. It goes back to the net worth concept I mentioned earlier.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
No, the consequences of breaking specific rules would place too much of a burden on my mother. I refuse to for now. Authority is such a varied concept to the point where my answer could not cover even the generalities of this question.
In tests, I always get Ni as my strongest function, but I decided to do this because I think any introverted dominant function is possible.