hey everyone! i've considered myself an INFJ for a while and the description more or less made sense to me, but some ppl have been assuming i'm an INFP, and that sort of makes sense too, but i can't seem to understand the differences. so i will appreciate any comments and thoughts and if you guys could specify what made you think i have a certain function. thanks in advance!
to begin with, both types can be people-pleasers as far as i understand. as for me, i've always been helpful to others, so much that i sometimes neglect my interests. i didn't know how to say no if someone asks for help, i didn't know how to stand up for myself when someone does smth that bothers me bc i felt it was rude to the other person. i recently started being more healthy abt it, but naturally i'm still that person who will feel uncomfortable to bother someone and ask them to lower the volume of the music or to confront a friend and say that they did smth that upset me.
when interacting with ppl, i prefer to observe and be quiet and wait for someone else to initiate. but once the connection is established, i can be very loud and fun and seem extraverted. i do have a very strong need for communication and being around ppl and i feel lonely if i'm alone, but sometimes new ppl and unfamiliar groups intimidate me, and this paradox upsets me. i prefer meaningful connections to superficial ones and i hate small talk, but once in a while i like to get out and party and do smth meaningless and fun. i love having deep conversations, but i don't feel comfortable with everyone open up enough. sometimes i do, sometimes i don't, i don't know what it depends on.
INFPs i know seem more carefree and spontaneous than me. i like having my options open and i like possibilities, but i definitely live by a schedule. i plan my day in advance and if my plan gets ruined i won't be able to adapt, i will get upset bc i have prepared myself for a certain activity. i always find making plans with my ExxP friends annoying bc they can't plan in advance and i need it.
i think i do emphasize with other ppl, but feel awkward saying words of comfort, like, i'm emotional on the inside, but often not on the outside. i don't think caring for others is my main purpose. if a friend is in trouble, i will definitely help them, but i won't make my priority to care abt everyone. i don't think i'm good at influencing someone's emotional state actively, expressing emotions loudly. but i always base decision making on how considerate it will be towards others.
i can be sensitive sometimes, i can romanticize the person i like and over commit to a relationship, but i try to be more healthy abt it. also, i like the idea of adventure and change, but in reality change and smth unfamiliar is not easy for me, so i can develop new romantic interests pretty quickly while being afraid to commit to a relationship bc i take them seriously. if i'm in a bad relationship, for the longest time i feel unsure abt ending it bc i'm scared it's a mistake and i hope things will change. i feel unsure A LOT in general.
speaking of being unsure, making decisions is hard for me and i feel the need to have some certainty. i will make a decision and then overthink and change my mind and never feel like i know what exactly to do. eventually i will make up my mind but it's not easy.
about "aha" moments and intuition, i can always tell how a person feels even when they don't share it. i read non-verbal cues or whatever and know if someone's being dishonest etc. but i used to be more oblivious and naive earlier, maybe bc i was young. and at the same time, even if i can suspect dishonesty, i still give ppl the benefit of the doubt and assume that everyone is by default good, unless they prove it wrong. if i rly don't want someone in my life anymore (it will happen after several times of me not confronting them and forgiving them), i will ghost them, i won't express my feelings abt it, i will just gradually stop interacting with them. even tho i prefer honesty and authenticity, i myself know how to lie and manipulate. most of my lies are just not revealing that i dislike someone bc it's "impolite" to show it (basically, i can be hypocritical ) and that someone's actions bother me.
THANK YOU to those who have read it and i will appreciate your opinions!