0. Is there anything that may affect the way you answer the questions? For example, a stressful time, mental illness, medications, special life circumstances? Other useful information includes sex, age, and current state of mind.
well mental illness is a matter of some debate. but yes? probably? certainly in the world i live in, i'm considered mentally ill and in soul-crushing fits of reality i tend to get discouraged by it. these are very quiet fits of reality, mind you. ones in which i go extra introspective and isolate. i'm not one for making a fuss. currently i am in one of my more discouraged times, and no matter how many times i am directed to the MBTI functions and try to figure out the unhealthy versions of them, i can't focus on the specifics long enough to make determinations about my own possibly dysfunctional functions. that isn't specific to bad weeks though, i am much more likely to get a "sense" of something than be able to get detail-oriented.
1. Click on this link: Look at the random photo for about 30 seconds. Copy and paste it here, and write about your impression of it.
honestly, no. it's an excellent question! i just, god, it's too much to consider? images and words are overlapping, unequivocally personal and absurd and if i look at colors, at a picture, my mind doesn't react in words, i can't...i'm terrible at word association games for this reason, too...words become pictures...pictures do not become words...or they can but it takes effort and feels like an approximate summation, a skirting of the truth.
2. You are with a group of people in a car, heading to a different town to see your favourite band/artist/musician. Suddenly, the car breaks down for an unknown reason in the middle of nowhere. What are your initial thoughts? What are your outward reactions?
IT REALLY DEPENDS. i probably go into problem-solving overdrive and maybe get a little frustrated, maybe sigh or swear for a moment, but mostly just begin to solve the issue. i get out my phone, i start to figure out who to call and how we can get to the concert safely.
3. You somehow make it to the concert. The driver wants to go to the afterparty that was announced (and assure you they won't drink so they can drive back later). How do you feel about this party? What do you do?
i don't want to go. i probably am very tired after the concert, being around so many humans, it's draining even if it's fun, and i probably hit my tolerance for external input (emotional overwhelm, empathic exhaustion, whatever you want to call it -- the feeling of being drained by contact with or proximity to others) about an hour or so previously. however i will not ruin the fun for the driver, i will agree to go, but probably sit in the car or find a quiet corner. i will get increasingly quiet and tired and possibly moody with socializing. i'll start to feel like i just need to get home, to the quiet, alone.
4. On the drive back, your friends are talking. A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward reaction? What do you outwardly say?
honestly by that time i'll probably be too exhausted to want to talk, so i'd probably just listen and not respond, or respond half-heartedly with agreement. if it were earlier in the evening, if i had more energy, if i had not spent hours around strangers and stressful socializing, then i'd probably ask them questions to understand their feelings more. i would be more interested in knowing *why* they felt the way they did than feeling offended by it.
5. What would you do if you actually saw/experienced something that clashes with your previous beliefs, experiences, and habits?
if it's benign (just a person's beliefs that are different) i'll ask and learn about it. if it's something i perceive as problematic -- such as someone being offensive to another person who i sense is not able to defend themself, i will feel compelled to stand up for the offended party.
6. What are some of your most important values? How did you come about determining them? How can they change?
i don't even know anymore. i thought i did but they've been changing while i've been getting a healthier mindset. now i value truth a lot more than i used to -- i crave truth, even if it's painful. i used to value following all of society's rules so as to avoid trouble. now i'm starting to question the rules -- but i evaluate everything before i reach an opinion.
7. a) What about your personality most distinguishes you from everyone else? b) If you could change one thing about you personality, what would it be? Why?
UM my personality is very changeable, depending on the mood but that might be part of the aforementioned "mental illness", who knows. and maybe that's not even abnormal? hell if i know. i love people but being around them is pretty much my least favorite thing. to be fair i don't feel that way when i am feeling more healthy. at those times i am much more open to interacting. i think i come off as uninterested or brooding, most of the time i'm just not sure that words are necessary. other times i feel very social, i have lots of things to say and i am uninhibited, i am much more outwardly friendly. yeah, i don't know, sorry. it's confusing to me too.
what would i change? on good days, nothing. except maybe that i want people to connect with me the way i try to connect with them -- on deep and often almost "psychic" levels -- small talk is my enemy, i find it frustratingly unsatisfying and want to avoid it altogether. i would rather have discussions of things i consider meaningful, even with strangers.
8. How do you treat hunches or gut feelings? In what situations are they most often triggered?
i try to rationalize them but that often gets me into overthinking trouble. when i simply listen to my gut feelings, i do a lot better, i feel like i'm going in the right direction. the hunches are most often triggered when i want an answer but don't know how to phrase the question.
9. a) What activities energize you most? b) What activities drain you most? Why?
having long, "meaningful" discussions, one-on-one with another person is energizing if i feel i can contribute to their state of mind. also being alone, that's the big one. being alone is the most energizing because being around others is generally draining. however i am often tired when my "mental illness" symptoms are acting up which is...too frequently.
10. What do you repress about your outward behavior or internal thought process when around others? Why?
i don't talk the way i think, at least not to most people, i try to seem much more casual when i speak to others. instead of saying what i'm thinking, usually i stay silent. i find that speaking up about my thought processes often intimidates people or makes them feel uncomfortable -- i find that most people are only comfortable with small talk and so because that frustrates me, i would rather be quiet. i also live inside my head, primarily, rather than in my body or the outside world, and i feel that others would think me crazy if i talked about my inner world -- which is fine, i am a little crazy, but i prefer not to make them uncomfortable.